we’re having a bit of a competition at work for the best and worst Xmas related jokes. Given that I regularly ply my team with jokes from the ‘Made me laugh thread’ I ‘ve been tasked with submitting a selection of good and bad ones. Any help much appreciated. I’ll let you know when I’ve made my selections and In order to prevent the thread running for ever and also not wanting to hijack the ‘ made me laugh thread. TIA
Someone asked me this Christmas, on average how much would I spend on a bottle of wine? I reckoned about 20 minutes
Three men were discussing what they had bought their wives for Xmas, the first one says "I bought mine a necklace and a scarf, then if she doesn't like the necklace she can cover it with the scarf." Next one says "I bought mine a ring and a pair of gloves, then if she doesn't like the ring she can cover it with the gloves." Final one says "I bought mine a hat and a vibrator, and if she doesn't like the hat she can go **** herself."
"Every time I see Cliff Richard he reminds me of Christmas" "Why, Christmas No 1's?" "No, he's got a neck like a turkey".
A Russian couple, let's call them Mr and Mrs Merde Tete, were walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when Mr M.T. felt a drop hit his nose. “I think it's raining,” he said to Mrs M.T. "No, that felt more like snow to me, ” she replied. “No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. ” Let's not argue about it, ” M.T. said, “let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing.” As the official approached, M.T. said, “Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?” “It's raining, of course, ” he answered and walked on. But the woman insisted: “I know that felt like snow!” To which the man quietly replied: “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!”