The word is DRAWERS, not draws....

Not so much a Barnsley thing but around here in North Norfolk we have should of and would of instead of should have and would have. Death is too good for them...

 

In our school gym, there was a compartment on the wall marked FIRE HOSE REAL. We all felt a lot safer knowing they hadn't installed a fake one.

 

My fave on here is been for being. Must be a west yorkshire thing.

 

I once went in a pub and saw a sign saying "Hot food been served". We got some drinks and sat down, then a young lad came over and asked if we wanted to order some food. Like the sad old **** that I am, I tried to make a joke out of it by saying "Well we would, but we're obviously too late". The poor lad didn't have a clue what I meant. Neither did my missus (who's German). We ended up having a big argument about me embarrassing her in public and we left hungry. The young lad thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

 

There
They're
Their

The incorrect use of these always does my head in.

 

Nice one. Might see you on the Ponty on Saturday.

 

Nose instead of knows....aaarrrgggghhhhhh!!!!

 

I was going to mention this one. It's had a dramatic rise up the charts for me and flown to number one.

 

ect instead of etc
moment instead of memento
stationary instead of stationery
As someone once posted on here " Grammar is the difference between knowing your **** and knowing you're ****"

 

I think this is in large part due to text prediction which often annoyingly changes this. It has a lot to answer for!

 

If it wasn't for social media, how often would some people actually write down words?

When I was at school, my handwriting was lovely and I took a pride in it. Now it's just a scrawl, and I put that down to lack of practice.

I think there are people that were ok at school, though not brilliant, but continue learning throughout life, and pick things up along the way.

There are others that don't have the capacity to see what they're doing wrong, and see leaving school as the end of their education.

You see some horrific spelling on Facebook. It's almost as if English isn't our native language.

Swear words are always spelled like wot they shud be tho.

 

I don't take any credit for this as it was posted by someone else on here ages ago, but it made me laugh: -

"They tried to make me go to grammar school, but I said 'no', 'now', 'know'".

To the tune of .

Anyone know who posted it originally?

 

I agree, predictable sex can cause many problems.

I've got a young friend in Germany called Maxi. Years ago I sent her a text beginning with "Hi Maxi". After sending I realised in horror it had been converted to "Hi Nazi" before being sent. No further comment required.

 

You should switch it up a little, have 'date' nights or go out separately and 'happen' to meet at your favourite bar. Spice it up a little.

 

That's what happens when one of us lives in Dodworth and the other in Hamburg!

 

Collective nouns need singular verbs.

e.g ...the team 'is' playing well - not the team 'were' playing well.


I once worked with a woman from Darfield who often reminded us that 'we are all prawns in life's games' - I hope she meant pawns.

 

I don't think 'excellently' often used by football commentators is a proper word -

off on a slight tangent here....
Euphemisms -- the oddest one was when I had a meeting at the convent with Sister Magdalen (long story.) Her first question was 'Would you like to use the little room to MAKE YOURSELF TIDY?'

 

I literally die when people do any of these things.