How do I get rid of dicky birds???

I love 'em. Our little garden is inundated with them and I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

I don’t mind the the ‘garden birds’ we have nesting in trees in our garden - although the dawn chorus at 4.30am sometimes is a bit annoying! However we get loads of pigeons who sit on the fences, fight with each other and mess all over the fences and on the decking / they really get on my nerves. I would love to know how to stop them perching on the fence.

 

How to get rid of Dickie Bird?


Tell him the free drinks deal at the bar has ended.

 

We had House Martins nesting in the eve's of our house - we got the Window Cleaner to put up some spikes after they'd migrated - end of problem. You can buy them from like B&Q and do it yourself if you're good with heights!! I love birds, especially birds of prey, but they literally sh*t all over the front of the house and all over the cars - first world problems I know, but hey ho.

 

Offer him a free ticket for Brammall Lane with free buffet

 

Amazing.

 

Happy hour again?

 

Are you George Spicer?

 

New job for Hecky after he's sacked at Leeds?

 

Good in it?

 

When Doncaster airport first opened, I genuinely applied for the job of 'bird scarer'.
This basically entailed charging up and down the runway, in a Land Rover Discovery, blasting your horn at birds.
What a job.
Just a thought, could you get a Discovery in your loft?

 

I’d love to see birds in my garden, too many chuffing cats, now they do need a contract putting on their heads.

 

London 0 Hull 4

 

Agreed I think there's many a Hillsbro-Ite who would be interested in that job.

 

Drag em out and block hole up, there might be some regulations which make it illegal but very much doubt the birds will dob you in!

had a nest in mine 5 years ago, after days of wondereing where that squeak was I noticed them going in and out feeeing the chicks, once I’d dragged the nest out our lass, because she’s a dizzy tw*t sometimes put em in a shoe box in the kitchen and fed em kitten food.. i **** you not all was going well for about 3 weeks until they started to fly and shat all over the kitchen when she was out, put em in an avery after that but the door was left open 3 days later so they sodded off....there’s no loyalty these days!!

 

So, we have an aggressive anti-tit species.
Do they go for blue, great or long tailed?

 

I'm very much a pro-tits man myself.

 

Last week I saw plenty of Blue Tits in Iceland, came back to the UK and there was plenty of Great Tits on show. Yesterday however, there was a Bearded Tit visiting, was very off-putting.

 

They were crapping all over the Caravan - no love there.