Fred the greengrocer runs out of carrots .......

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Young Nudger, Jun 7, 2018.

  1. Red

    Red CB Well-Known Member

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    That ladies & gentlemen is todays episode of Gardners World !
     
  2. Dan

    DannyWilsonLovechild Well-Known Member

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    Questions

    Are the carrots organic? Do they meet EU regulations? Were harmful pesticides used? Have more exotic heritage varieties of different colour been used (purple and yellow for example) and how do 70% of the locals feel about this as they aren't the norm?
     
  3. Terry Nutkins

    Terry Nutkins Well-Known Member

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    At the moment Fred has that many ******* carrots that he can’t flog them all in any of his shops, they’ve all gone mouldy and are pretty worthless.

    Fred brought in a new boss from Lidl because they were a new up and coming German supermarket.

    The new boss lobbed all the the carrots in the bin and was sacked 6 months later.

    The new boss came in from Tesco because they were British company. Shares went up but performance went down hill. 5 months later he was sacked.
     
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  4. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    Then the following year the town where Fred was originally based left the trading block and could no longer exchange carrots from his first shop with the other shops so Fred jacked in the first shop and moved to one of the other towns where he lived happily ever after and the customers of his original shop had to either go to a different shop for carrrots or go without them altogether
     
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  5. pompey_red

    pompey_red Well-Known Member

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    Just half an hour inside nudgers head would be more than enough
     
  6. Old Goat

    Old Goat Well-Known Member

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    Surely with the amount of manure that Fred had on his field last year, his carrots should have been ready to harvest much earlier than his competitors?
     
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  7. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

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    For Fred read Chien or Paul re- buying grocers shops ( got one in Nice and Barnsley) and probably
    buying one in Spain next. That way, they can move their carrots from one to the other depending on
    each shops needs. Need one in Malmo next, so they can export some Swedes and hopefully move some
    of the surplus turnips at Barnsley to their other outlets.!
     
  8. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

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    Who the chuff is this Fred I keep reading about?
    Whoever he is he's a disgrace to carrotdom.
     
  9. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

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    They could resurrect FC Brussels then we could have sprouts on the cheap too.
     
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  10. MonkeyRed

    MonkeyRed Well-Known Member

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    This is my all time favourite BBS post of ever. Thank you.
     
  11. Jack Tatty

    Jack Tatty Well-Known Member

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    .
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2018
  12. churtonred

    churtonred Well-Known Member

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    Is there a trawler and some seagulls due any time soon? I always look forward to them.
     
  13. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

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    Has anyone taken into account the wonky carrots being sold at Morrisons? Now they are something Fred ought to get worried about whilst he's sorting out his local carrot competitors.
    Morrisons are national, I'd like to see Fred's business plan regarding them.
     
  14. Tyke_67

    Tyke_67 Well-Known Member

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    who ate all the pies?
     
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  15. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    My brains just exploded yer daft buggers.:):)
     
  16. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    Grocer Jack Grocer Jack
    Is it true what nudger says
    You want your carrots back
    Oh no no
     
  17. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    This is comedy gold, in fact 24 carrot, I’ll get me coyit
     
  18. John Peachy

    John Peachy Well-Known Member

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  19. Durkar Red

    Durkar Red Well-Known Member

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    He could have diversified into frozen carrots and vegetables like Iceland , and look what they did in the Euros
     
  20. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    No carrots here

     

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