Xmas related jokes required please...

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Tarntyke, Dec 6, 2018.

  1. John Peachy

    John Peachy Well-Known Member

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    Best worst joke so far.
     
  2. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Young Nudger. Marlon and John Peachy going darn to Wembley to watch Play Off Final,get their booking allocation mixed up. Receptionist sez we've only got 1 rm wi a double bed, will that suffice.
    ,
    The guys agreed, so being totally whacked the three guys got to room put on PJs, and YOUNG NUDGER demanding he sleeps in the middle promptly fall asleep.

    While doing there admin in the bathroom the following morning, Marlon said that he'd had the most amazing dream, KATY PERRY had given him a hand job, at that moment Johns jaw dropped he said i had a similar dream but it was TAYLOR SWIFT.doing the tugging.

    As Marlon and John were smarting over there dreams Young Nudger blurted out that he'd had the best dream of his life and told the pair that he'd been SKIING the longest SLALOM of his life
     
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  3. TonyTyke

    TonyTyke Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant.
     
  4. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    Funny, but no Xmas connection though
     
  5. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Jesus walks into a inn, hands the innkeeper 3 nails and sez, can you put me up for the night,
     
  6. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    Wrong end of the chronology mate, funny though
     
  7. andytyke

    andytyke Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    Rudolph and his wife are sat in the house.
    He looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
    His wife asked: “What makes you say that?”
    “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
     
    dearnevalleyviper likes this.
  8. Met

    Metatarsal Well-Known Member

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    Obi Wan Kenobi has ruined Christmas for Luke Skywalker by telling him what he's getting as gifts.

    He felt his presents........
     
    Austiniho likes this.
  9. Tarntyke

    Tarntyke Well-Known Member

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    This one won us the competition. Thanks Shenk 1. I’ll get your share of the prize to you as soon as I can fathom out how I can safely transport half a mince pie to you. Thank you all for your replies, much appreciated
     
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  10. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

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    Sprinkle the crumbs onto the computer keyboard and leave 10 minutes ;)
     
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  11. Did

    Didcot Red Well-Known Member

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    One from the Ken Bruce show.

    The bible states that the wise men were from Yorkshire. It says "they came from the East Riding on a camel.

    And Jesus was from South Derbyshire. He was lying in a manger in Swadlincote.
     
  12. Arc

    ArchieRed Well-Known Member

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    How does Santa like his pizza....?

    Deep & crisp & even.

    I’ll get mi coit....
     
  13. dearnevalleyviper

    dearnevalleyviper Well-Known Member

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    The annual Nativity concert in Barnsley has regretfully had to be cancelled again.
    Organisers still can't find three wise men or a virgin........
     
  14. Duntpasstome

    Duntpasstome Well-Known Member

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    Knock knock
    Who's there Hannah
    Hannah who
    Hannah Partridge in a pear tree
     
  15. Austiniho

    Austiniho Well-Known Member

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    Which Barnsley supporting elf is best at getting Santa’s sleigh moving?

    Rudolph the red knows reindeer!
     

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