Matchday with Monkey : Charlton Home

We are somewhere north of Great Houghton. A tip perhaps ? Having an in car picnic on the way to another cousin's.
Monkey : Why can't we just eat pies in bags like everyone else ?
Me : Because you eat enough pies without bags at ho...
Monkey : HEY! Did you see that ?!!
Me : What ?
Monkey : Something with blue and white stripes was just snuffling and oinking in one of those bags then it saw me looking at it and it ran off into the forest.



Monkey : That was an interesting interview with Davies on Radio Deedar. What he said about a two goal lead being a 'cushion'. I could see you wincing.
Me : Two goals IS NOT a cushion. Two goals is a springboard. We are Barnsley. It's nearly my 36th anniversary of watching this lo...
Monkey ( interrupting AGAIN ) : Hehe yes and we've got to nearly kick off and I haven't been subjected to your reminiscence about Charlton away in 1985. When are you planning to bore me with that again ?
Me : When we are three goals up after 10 minutes.



Monkey : One nil. Definitely NOT a cushion.
Me : Definitely
Monkey : How many goals do constitute a cushion ?
Me : It depends on many factors. Mainly it's directly proportional to the amount of time left in the game but it also depends on the relative league position of the opposition. We could call that x and the ....
Monkey : Shut up. I'd rather hear about Charlton Away in 1985.
Me : It was around the time of the end of the strike and there were only about 12 Barnsley fans there...
Monkey : SHUT UP!!!!



Me : Woooo TWO nil!!! This is almost like 1985 except...different scorers..
Monkey : When we score again I will pop down to the dugout and make sure Ronnie Moore is NOT on their bench this time.
Me : I cannot see his special hat.
Monkey : What do hats like that look like ?
Me : A bit like yours.
Monkey : I bet you can't remember the entire Barnsley team from Charlton away in 1985 and no googling.
Me : Clive Baker ? Ron and Paul Futcher obviously


It is half time.
Monkey : Can I go and sell our flask of tea to that very very long queue at the back of the West Stand ?
Me : Steve Agnew. No, if they can't be bothered to bring a flask that's their fault.
Monkey : Where did you steal this teabag from ?
Me : Gordon Owen


Monkey : Pontyend, give us a song, pontyend pontyend give us a song !! Shhhhhhh
Pontyend : COME ON YOU REDS COME ON YOU REDS!!!!
Me : Erm Gwyn Thomas maybe but not Dave Geddis or was it? No he was Wimbledon away ...
Monkey : I wish I'd got a cushion to shut you up with.



Me : Here we go, silly free kick

2-1

Monkey : The stuffing's coming out of our cushion.
Me : Larry May !! Roger Wylde, no. Not him ....Stuart Gray possibly
Monkey : You are deliberately distracting yourself from the next half hour of tension.
Me : Half hour ?
Monkey : YES ! You told your cousin it wouldn't finish till after five and if that happens it'll all be your fault.
Me : I thought everything was Keith Hill's fault ?



Monkey : Hold me still woman ! That was a good chance.
Me : Joe Joyce or had he left by then?
Monkey : Have you any idea how to drive us back to Hemsworth ?
Me : Yes. Billy Ronson ?
Monkey : Including roads that have been built since 1985 ?



Monkey : I think your 84 year old mum could walk faster than Thiam.
Me : WATCH ! This looks promising. Ian Walsh !!
Monkey : Sigh



Me : How much longer is this going on ? I've completely exhausted my list of 1985 players. What are you doing now ?
Monkey : I'm a cushion. A big soft fluffy cushion for Barnsley FC to play on.
The final whistle goes. And not before time !

 

Great Houghton a tip.
Too right.
And so is the ‘Forgotten Road’ once known as Dearne Valley Parkway.
An embarrassment for all of us living in the Dearne.
How are we to attract visitors and investment when miles of the main road looks like a public waste dump.
Barnsley Council hang your head.
Calvin Plummer ?

 

Happy new year to you as well you old misery!

 

Don't think the council are dumping rubbish nudge. Jonsson??

 

It's either them or Calvin Plummer or maybe he works for them now.