Watching League 1 highlights, a couple of observations

Three of Southend's four goals at Bradford were absolute beauties. Simon Cox's finish was especially sublime (though the less said about the defending, the better).

The technique Woodrow showed was also first class. Very little backlift with the ball coming towards him at an awkward angle, yet he found both power and accuracy.

Not sure how I haven't noticed before, but what the actual fck is Donny's home kit all about? Absolutely horrendous attire!

 

The donny kit was a one off for yesterdays match for charity. It was designed by a local school kid after they held a competition. For mental awareness I believe. Shirts to be auctioned off, a bit like we did when we played chesterfield at home a few a years ago.

 

Ah right! Hence why I hadn't noticed it before. An excellent cause of course and a great idea. I was thinking that the shirt looked like it had been designed by a school kid!

 

Hang your head in shame!

 

True about Woodrow, I was listening the commentary & it sounded as if it was a routine finish after the ball went past everyone, brilliant finish & especially as it was on his weaker foot

 

I feel a bit bad now, seeing as it's for a good cause. Doesn't change the fact that it's a stinker of a shirt though! Looks like one of Jorge Campos's outfits for Mexico in the 90's.

 

Who was on the judging panel, thats what I wanna know. It is bad like.

 

You just walked face first into one of those situations where you're entirely innocent yet there's no way save yourself from looking a complete lovely person
How's your dad doing? - He's dead.
Hi, how are you, when are you due? - I'm not pregnant
That kit is disgusting - It was designed by a school child for mental health awareness

 

I get asked that all the time.

 

I fell into the pregnancy trap once, aged 12. Asked my mate at school if his mum was pregnant. I genuinely thought she was. "No, she's nearly 50. She's just fat." was the reply. Since then, I've had a mortal fear of asking women about their new babies, until I've found out categorically that she is expecting. When one of my colleagues, who was also a good mate at uni got pregnant, I didn't dare congratulate her until she was six and a half months in, just to be on the safe side.

 

Excellent life advice which I will be passing on to my sons!

 

Why? Cos he was mistaken ?

 

It was a joke mate. One of those moments as Jay beautifully summed up

 

I know I shouldn’t but I really can’t stop chuckling at this

 

Thought the peterboro defender challenge was never red. Clearly went for ball won ball and follow through got other player. Poor decision never a red

 

Me and our Neil were in the Dove a bit back. He said to the barman you’ve lost weight you look good. Barman says yeah my missis left me and I’m on my own and can’t cook. Half an hour later he says why doesn’t your mam still
make pie and peas barman says it’s be a bit tricky she died 2 months ago. At that point I thought we better leave and find a different pre match pub. The boys a genius.

 

I once was told by my next door neighbour his dad had died the night before (lived in same house) and I replied oh no your joking. I know it's used in a lot of circumstances of tragedy etc. But you don't half feel stupid after you've said it.

 

Your only hope is that Neil was talking so quickly that the barman didn't quite understand what he had said.

 

Forgot to tell you Neil’s had a kid. Well not him
Physically but you know what I mean

 

Apparently I am on the lower end of the 'Spectrum' which means, whilst I am "focused and relentless" , as my wife puts it (endearing and infuriating at the same time) I tend to lack empathy and, also according to her, 'tact'
I am also very unlucky when it comes to "putting my foot in it' sometimes through no real fault of my own.
On one occasion when I worked at college, I often used to be 'first in' . My very attractive, and usually very happy, energetic and motivated boss came through the door, early one morning looking somewhat morose. I looked at her and said " What's up? You look like the cat died" .at which point she burst into tears. A common enough expression EXCEPT. She had got up that morning and the cat was looking very unwell, so she had put it in the car and it passed away on the way to the Vets!!
On another occasion I went to a 'band reunion' with wives and partners I had not seen for a long time. We were in a restaurant and I asked one of my ex band members how he and his wife had met at which point everything went silent. It was a classic 'tumbleweed moment' punctuated only by the sound of a fork being dropped and clattering on the floor. Turns out she had been with another member of the band and basically had left him for her current partner . The split was somewhat acrimonious and it was all still a bit raw. Cue a few awkward minutes! To make matters worse, my wife had picked up on it before I opened my mouth (no idea how, she got my share of empathy at birth I guess) and kicked me very hard under the table

I could probably write a book on the times I have put my foot in it!