Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

Page 47 of 218
  1. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2017
    Messages:
    2,745
    Likes Received:
    2,902
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    FB_IMG_1557874409861.jpg
     
    RedStriker, May 14, 2019
    #921
    Connor likes this.
  2. Spa

    Sparkfield red Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2017
    Messages:
    834
    Likes Received:
    643
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    424A7A6A-86B7-4157-B77D-0439A7F4AB97.jpeg
     
    Sparkfield red, May 15, 2019
    #922
    Connor, WorsbroughTyke44, TitusMagee and 3 others like this.
  3. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2013
    Messages:
    13,386
    Likes Received:
    14,553
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location:
    Broughty Ferry
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    What has a cordless razor and the premiership have in common?


    No Leeds.
     
    arabian_ian, May 16, 2019
    #923
    dabber, MarioKempes, Donny Red and 3 others like this.
  4. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2017
    Messages:
    2,745
    Likes Received:
    2,902
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
     
    RedStriker, May 18, 2019
    #924
  5. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2017
    Messages:
    2,745
    Likes Received:
    2,902
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    F27F1AF4-7622-4CCF-9602-AB755DA11775.jpeg
     
    RedStriker, May 18, 2019
    #925
    Sparkfield red and arabian_ian like this.
  6. Did

    Didcot Red Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2012
    Messages:
    3,114
    Likes Received:
    2,906
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location:
    Didcot
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    One from the current edition of Private Eye.

    Lady goes to the counter at M&S and asks "Are these knickers satin?"
    Shop assistant replies "No, they're brand new."
     
    Didcot Red, May 20, 2019
    #926
  7. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2017
    Messages:
    2,963
    Likes Received:
    2,384
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    RETIRED AND LOVING IT
    Location:
    Bridlington
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Just got in after a 14 hr shift, Wife sez wot turns you on more, my Pretty face or my Sexy body, after looking her up n darn, I said reight now your foookin sense of humour
     
    Winker, May 21, 2019
    #927
  8. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,154
    Likes Received:
    3,946
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    54CAB654-AFC6-465E-AB37-397E438345AE.jpeg
     
    Connor, May 21, 2019
    #928
    Sparkfield red and Winker like this.
  9. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,154
    Likes Received:
    3,946
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    BC2A51A7-119B-459C-A8FD-0572C651D2DA.jpeg
     
    Connor, May 22, 2019
    #929
    Sparkfield red, WorsbroughTyke44, thetykester and 2 others like this.
  10. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,154
    Likes Received:
    3,946
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    An undercover cop called at my farm in rural Dorset yesterday evening...
    “I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs”, he said.

    “By all means officer, just don’t go in that field over there”, I replied.

    The cop exploded, saying “Do you know who the **** I am?! I have the authority of the government with me!”, he shouted before pulling a badge out of his back pocket, “Do you see this ******* badge?! This badge means I can do what I want and I’ll go wherever the **** I want, have I made myself clear?!”

    I nodded politely, apologised, and went about my chores. A short while later, I hear loud screams, looked up and saw the cop running for his life being chased by my angry bull. With each step, the bull was gaining ground and he seemed sure to be gored before he reached safety. The officer looked terrified and continued to run for his life.

    I threw down my tools, immediately ran to the edge of the fence and shouted at the top of my lungs,

    “Your badge, show him your ******* badge!”
     
    Connor, May 22, 2019
    #930
    Old Goat, Farnham_Red, Sparkfield red and 4 others like this.
  11. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2013
    Messages:
    13,386
    Likes Received:
    14,553
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location:
    Broughty Ferry
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Why is Mickey Mouse's helicopter nae use in Scotland?

    Disneyland.
     
    arabian_ian, May 22, 2019
    #931
    Old Goat, WorsbroughTyke44, Donny Red and 3 others like this.
  12. thetykester

    thetykester Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2016
    Messages:
    10,471
    Likes Received:
    9,262
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location:
    T'Well
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    [​IMG]
     
    thetykester, May 22, 2019
    #932
    Thrappo Tyke and TitusMagee like this.
  13. MarioKempes

    MarioKempes Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2008
    Messages:
    40,155
    Likes Received:
    7,177
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Project Manager
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    What does a Leeds fan do when Leeds have been promoted to the Premier League?

    He switches off his Playstation.
     
    MarioKempes, May 22, 2019
    #933
  14. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2016
    Messages:
    8,216
    Likes Received:
    7,042
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired.
    Location:
    Ossett.
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    When they were both alive, a Scot once asked his mate in the pub, what was the difference between Bing Crosby
    and Walt Disney.

    His answer was " Bing Crosby sings but Walt Disney."

    Incidentally good luck against St Mirren " the nicht " Ian. Hope your lads can do it and
    take a healthy lead back to Paisley for the second leg.
     
    Donny Red, May 23, 2019
    #934
    Connor and arabian_ian like this.
  15. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2016
    Messages:
    8,216
    Likes Received:
    7,042
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired.
    Location:
    Ossett.
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    My old Mum used to collect Russian dolls. I hated them, they were so
    full of themselves.
     
    Donny Red, May 23, 2019
    #935
    Old Goat, shed131, Thrappo Tyke and 1 other person like this.
  16. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2016
    Messages:
    8,216
    Likes Received:
    7,042
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired.
    Location:
    Ossett.
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Once attended a Conference at the Savoy Hotel in London. During a break for refreshment
    I asked a waiter who was the most famous person he had ever met during his time there.
    Without hesitation and with a smile on his face he said it was Lady Ga Ga. Very genuine
    down to earth person.

    She had stayed at the hotel during a trip to London and he got to know her quite well,
    so much so, she asked him for a special favour. She's apparently was a very heavy sleeper
    and as she had an early morning interview on a local radio station, she asked if he would go to
    her room in the morning to wake her. I asked him what he was asked to do. He replied.......
    Poke 'er face.
     
    Donny Red, May 23, 2019
    #936
    Hooky feller and Connor like this.
  17. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2012
    Messages:
    6,603
    Likes Received:
    4,180
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Urine Extraction Technician
    Location:
    Elsecar By The Sea
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Our lass was begging me for sex the other day and she say to me "Do it to me Liverpool style!!!"

    I said "What the hell is Liverpool style"

    So she showed me....you spend ages on top then come second ;)
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2019
    shenk1, May 23, 2019
    #937
    Thrappo Tyke and Connor like this.
  18. TitusMagee

    TitusMagee Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2018
    Messages:
    8,604
    Likes Received:
    13,265
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Silkstone Common
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Unfortunate typo there :D
     
    TitusMagee, May 23, 2019
    #938
    shenk1 likes this.
  19. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2012
    Messages:
    6,603
    Likes Received:
    4,180
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Urine Extraction Technician
    Location:
    Elsecar By The Sea
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Well spotted :D
     
    shenk1, May 23, 2019
    #939
    TitusMagee likes this.
  20. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2014
    Messages:
    1,846
    Likes Received:
    3,895
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Fred took his 8 year old daughter to work with him on a company "Bring your family to see where you work" open day.
    He was showing her around the busy office and the staff were cooing over her and making a fuss of her when she suddenly burst into tears.
    "Whatever is the matter sweetheart?" asked her dad.

    Sobbing, she replied "You said you work with a bunch of clowns daddy, but I can't see any!"
     
    Lordtyke, May 26, 2019
    #940
    Connor likes this.
Page 47 of 218

Share This Page