O/T Wedding Gifts

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by fired, Jun 24, 2019.

  1. fir

    fired Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    Random one I know, but it's a fair while since I've been to a wedding. We have one coming up in the autumn, and instead of a gift list, the couple is asking for contributions to their honeymoon costs. Thing is I have no idea how much to put in. All four of us are going, so I want to ensure we contribute a reasonable amount, but I have no idea what the form is. What would the good people of the BBS think is a reasonable amount to contribute from 4 of us?
     
  2. TitusMagee

    TitusMagee Well-Known Member

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    £50-100 altogether maybe, depending on how flush you are? :)
     
  3. hav

    havana red1 Well-Known Member

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    I'd say 50£ is more than reasonable.
     
  4. fit

    fitzytyke Well-Known Member

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    Last wedding I went to we were given a list of presents to buy. If I remember correctly it was Debenhams.

    Of course the more showy guests had quickly bought the more expensive items, and by the time we went online there were only the smaller items left, and we were all personally thanked in writing with reference to the specific item we had bought - basically the bride and groom had a table of who had spent most money on them.

    I found the whole thing uncomfortable to be honest. Most couples live together before getting hitched, and have already accrued a fair amount of material effects.

    I think **** asking people to lavish you with presents or paying for your honeymoon - it's begging.

    If you can't afford a lavish do, don't have one. Just have a nice day with all your nearest and dearest.

    Don't make it all about who spends the most money on you.
     
  5. BarnsleyReds

    BarnsleyReds Well-Known Member

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    Depends on how well you know them, I suppose. I'd probably go anything from £100 to £500, depending on if they're distant relative that I see once a decade or very close family/friends.
     
  6. hav

    havana red1 Well-Known Member

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    Wow! Towd 'loadsamoney'
     
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  7. hav

    havana red1 Well-Known Member

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    Must say i mostly agree.
    I've been married twice and wouldn't have dreamt of having a 'gift list' or specifically asked for money.
     
  8. JLWBigLil

    JLWBigLil Well-Known Member

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    Our son is getting married at the beginning of September, but they've not produced either a wedding present list or a requst for monies to pay for anything in particular. I believe my presence is enough to bring them eternal happiness together!:D
     
  9. TitusMagee

    TitusMagee Well-Known Member

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    I get those sentiments, but this isn't really a discussion about whether it is right or wrong to ask for gifts. From my point of view, though, bride and groom will have spent a tidy sum having you there and feeding you, free drinks etc. Its not unreasonable to help them out a little with a honeymoon. It's clear OP wants to contribute anyway. A discussion about merits of gifts etc isn't going to help her with her original question.
     
  10. hav

    havana red1 Well-Known Member

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    The greek way would work better. The guests give a monetry gift which essentially covers the food, drink and entertainment they will receive over the day/night. Been to quite a few, and they are big weddings so this system works well.
     
  11. fit

    fitzytyke Well-Known Member

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    It's not unreasonable to contribute. Most do, it's traditional, hence why I don't see a need to ask for specific items.
     
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  12. TitusMagee

    TitusMagee Well-Known Member

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    We spent about 12k on our wedding and got about 2k back, so whilst I didn't expect a penny from anyone, it certainly helped towards our honeymoon and we really appreciated it.
     
  13. TitusMagee

    TitusMagee Well-Known Member

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    People will ask for a gift list though so just easier to lay it out.
     
  14. hav

    havana red1 Well-Known Member

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    Lucky bugger.... didn't have a honeymoon after both mine :)
    We expected to pay for our own weddings and the gifts were a bonus and muchly appreciated of course.
     
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  15. BarnsleyReds

    BarnsleyReds Well-Known Member

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    Don't think 100 quid is that much for gifts from 4 people, personally.
     
  16. TitusMagee

    TitusMagee Well-Known Member

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    Only reason I got married mate :p (divorced now!)
     
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  17. hav

    havana red1 Well-Known Member

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    A family of 4?: mum, dad and 2 kids perhaps.
    Lots of facors here. Is it a close, inbetween or distant family member? Is it a close friend or not. Is it an associate? Is it a work colleague etc.
    A close family member or friend would receive 50£ and no more under said circumstances. I wouldn't be pleased if the happy couple were expecting more from people.
     
  18. BarnsleyReds

    BarnsleyReds Well-Known Member

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    I don’t think anyone’s suggesting that they would be expecting more. For example; one of my mates got married last year, I was an usher. Me and the mrs spent a good £400 on the gifts we got for them, and that didn’t seem particularly high, when you looked at the other gifts. I got a free 3 piece tailored suit out of it though, so swings and roundabouts I suppose.
     
  19. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Your right lil. Re your presence. Even more so if there’s a match on. Some kids have no consideration. :mad::)
     
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  20. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

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    It's a tricky one. My son and his partner are getting married next month. They luckily already have a
    house and most of the everything they need.

    They are keeping their wedding very low key and have therefore not asked for any gifts or donations.
    All that they want, are the many friends they have made down the years and their close family there
    to jointly celebrate their happy day.

    Everybody's circumstances are different of course and I can see the sense in circulating a list, to
    avoid any duplication. However, I personally don't think it's prudent to identify who bought what.
    After all, to me, it's the thought that counts.
     
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