The Sixteen Commandments of Growing Old

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by RedStriker, Sep 19, 2019.

  1. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2017
    Messages:
    2,733
    Likes Received:
    2,879
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    XenForo - Xenith Reds
    #1 - Talk to yourself, because there are times you need expert advice.

    #2 - Consider "In Style" to be the clothes that still fit.

    #3 - You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.

    #4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

    #5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."

    #6 - You have days when your life is just a tent away from a circus.

    #7 - These days, "on time" is when you get there.

    #8 - Even duct tape can't fix stupidity - but it does muffle the sound.

    #9 - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

    #10 - Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you

    #11 - "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering why you're there.

    #12 - When you were a child, you thought nap time was punishment. Now it feels like a mini vacation.

    #13 - Some days you have no idea what you're doing out of bed.

    #14 - You thought growing old would take longer.

    #15 - Aging sure has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.

    #16 - You still haven't learned to act your age, and hope you never will.
     
  2. Cow

    Cowboy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2019
    Messages:
    1,420
    Likes Received:
    2,187
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Manager
    Location:
    Ackworth
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    In a nutshell pal:D
     
    Kettlewell likes this.
  3. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2011
    Messages:
    9,277
    Likes Received:
    7,616
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Fillingham
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    And.... walking behind a woman of your own age and saying to yourself, "Look at the arse on that !!"
     
    Dalestykes and John Peachy like this.
  4. Redarmy87

    Redarmy87 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2018
    Messages:
    4,917
    Likes Received:
    6,857
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
  5. LiverpoolRed

    LiverpoolRed Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2005
    Messages:
    14,268
    Likes Received:
    6,223
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Liverpool, Liverpool, United Kingdom, 105653082800
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Spam e mails you receive for cougar dating are now younger than you
     
    TitusMagee and John Peachy like this.
  6. Til

    Tilertoes Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2015
    Messages:
    4,119
    Likes Received:
    2,810
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    The smug, contented knowledge that you’ve not long left until the sweet relief of death
     
    Cowboy and Kettlewell like this.
  7. Xer

    Xerxes Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2005
    Messages:
    5,737
    Likes Received:
    569
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Ex-oil Company Project Director
    Location:
    West Riding of Yorkshire or St Selve, France
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    As Fred Wedlock said, “You’re only as old as the woman you feel.”
     
  8. 55&counting

    55&counting Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2015
    Messages:
    3,942
    Likes Received:
    5,798
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Avid Vic & Bob fan.
    Location:
    Ardsley
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    superb!
     
  9. Old Goat

    Old Goat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2017
    Messages:
    7,839
    Likes Received:
    14,444
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    I got to the end of the list and thought, "Where's #17? I'm sure there were supposed to be 17 things." Then I checked the title again..

    I must be getting old...:(
     
  10. icer

    icer Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2012
    Messages:
    5,753
    Likes Received:
    3,475
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Style:
    Barnsley (full width)
    Pre 40. You tell your mates that you have shagged someone that you haven't really.
    Post 40. You tell your mates that you haven't shagged someone that you have really.
     
    Stephen Dawson and John Peachy like this.

Share This Page