Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

  1. thetykester

    thetykester Well-Known Member

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    Saw this blok other day, 700 stitches in his face, had is balaclava on back to front.
     
  2. Carlycu5tard

    Carlycu5tard Well-Known Member

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    The Egyption Government has instructed taxi drivers in Cairo to drive around the city honking their horns to give the impression the city is busy and to restore the normal sounds of life.

    It is hoped the feel of the normal hustle and bustle will help reduce the feelings of stress and anguish in the population during the pandemic.

    Operation Toot and calm em will last for about a week.
     
  3. Redstone

    Redstone Well-Known Member

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    Got all nostalgic in the car today. As I put it into reverse I thought myself...."this takes me back"
     
  4. Exi

    Exile Well-Known Member

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  5. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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  6. Carlycu5tard

    Carlycu5tard Well-Known Member

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    One for the train geeks.

    upload_2020-6-26_11-36-40.png
     
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  7. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    Ireland are to open swimming pools on July 5th. But due to social distancing regulations there will be no water in lanes 2 4 and 6
     
  8. Exi

    Exile Well-Known Member

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    What’s the difference between ignorance and indifference?

    I don’t know and I don’t care.
     
  9. Exi

    Exile Well-Known Member

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    My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"

    He winked at me and said: “I’m off duty in 10 minutes - meet me in the car park.”
     
  10. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    Breaking News.
    Priti Patel has ordered the beaches at Leeds, Sheffield and Birmingham to be closed with immediate effect.
     
  11. Exi

    Exile Well-Known Member

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    A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

    A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

    The wife asks: “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?” He said: “They had avocados.”
     
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  12. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

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  13. Redstone

    Redstone Well-Known Member

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    This is the first year I'm not going to Disneyland because of Covid 19.
    Normally I don't go because I can't afford it.
     
  14. Redstone

    Redstone Well-Known Member

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    A Woman who had multiple convictions for stealing clothes from washing lines has vowed to reform.
    She said "I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt"
     
  15. Exi

    Exile Well-Known Member

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    I regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes.

    But that’s Heinz sight for you.

    (........gets coit)
     
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  16. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Moan :confused:
    Liked the gets coit. :)
     
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  17. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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  18. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    Social Distancing in pubs by 3 o’clock today.
    IMG_0461.jpg
     
    retired red, Exile, Lordtyke and 2 others like this.
  19. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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    What’s the problem Captain? ....T.wats sir, thousands of them!
    upload_2020-7-4_12-54-5.jpeg upload_2020-7-4_12-54-5.jpeg
     
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  20. Exi

    Exile Well-Known Member

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    I overdosed on viagra once. Hardest day of my life.
     
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