Mental Healthcare (rant)

My wife suffered slight brain damage from an autoimmune reaction to an infection when she was 10 years old. For years at a time it goes unnoticed, but when stress is high it becomes extremely difficult for her, and by extension for me. She is diagnosed as bipolar, obsessive compulsive and anorexic.

It might not be suitable/regular for the BBS, but I need to vent somewhere. I am so incredibly frustrated at the lack of care she is receiving.

Mental healthcare in this country is f*cked. Completely underinvested and brushed under the rug.

She had a severe episode Friday morning: hallucinating, self-harming and trying to end her life. I had to physically restrain her and remove razor blades with one hand while I talked with the police with the other.

Before dialling 999 I had tried to get in touch with her 'crisis team', because I needed a professional at the house ASAP. The response was that because she had missed an appointment (because she was literally too ill to attend) she was seen as 'not engaging with services' and therefore no help would be despatched. Is it only me that sees that a person who is so mentally ill they can't attend their appointments (this was made clear and accepted at the time), might actually really need the help for that exact reason?

I spent hours at A&E today observing my own wife on what was essentially suicide watch, because there weren't enough doctors/nurses to keep an eye on her permanently. That's nothing against A&E; they're up against it and their resources are thinly stretched as it is. But knowing all of this, all I heard from the team at Kendray hospital (her primary contact) was "that sucks, keep us updated".

After a short consultation with Barnsley hospital's mental health team, she was sent home with zero treatment, just to start the cycle all over again. I'm now left fearng for her safety because at some point I have to sleep, and I don't know what she might do. She isn't safe at home but she has been left with no alternative. The service from Kendray was so poor the police officers who dealt with her are filing their own official complaint.

We need to start treating mental health seriously. I'm not trying to be antagonistic, but sh*t like mental health awareness day isn't helping anyone. When everyone is posting on their social media that they care and it's important, but at the same time there is almost zero actual help available it comes across wrong. It's supposed to help people but it just reinforces the thought that "caring is fashionable but our country isn't actually willing to do it".

I'm scared about my own safety and hers, and I feel like nobody in a position to help gives a flying f*ck. The entire service is geared toward discharging rather than helping, because they're stretched so thin and they can't deal with the caseload.

I tried so hard not to make this rant political, but this government's cuts are KILLING people.

 

Couldn't agree with you more. I don't want to go into my own/family mental health stuff but I know exactly what you mean about not being able to get appropriate help. The whole thing is EXTREMELY stressful for everyone concerned in a situation like the one you're describing. Lots of people talk a good game in government and the media but beyond words genuine care which is specific to individual needs is very often lacking. I totally empathize. Best wishes to you both.

 

Mate, I got brain damage playing football over 25 years ago. I have depression, alongside loss of vision & a load more stuff.

At the moment dealing with my Dad's dementia & worried for my Mum. I'm always here for a PM / chat though.

 

Not meaning to pry, but have you noticed a difference in the level of care you have received over the last few years? Since we first engaged in services in Barnsley 5 years ago, ever year things have got further stretched and the actual care has diminished

 

In a personal capacity the level of care has been zero. I suffer depression but manage to run businesses & be reasonably successful.

 

Agree about his stretched the service is I'm wide awake with my knee so can keep you company while you try to stay awake.

 

Mate that sucks. I lost my cousin to mental health issues over fifteen years ago and I would say that he was badly let down by the system in South Yorkshire. So much so that it inspired his younger sister to become a psychiatric nurse. I know it sounds trite but the majority of NHS staff are doing what they can in a system in which they have been ruthlessly hamstrung by this appalling government we have right now. I know that this doesn't really help you, but like the others have said I'm here to talk if you need.

On a side issue, I would say that things like mental health awareness day do help, as being more open about things as a society means people are more likely to seek help if they are having issues. The help offered by the NHS can be limited, but seeking help can be outside the system. Even just feeling able to talk to a friend or family member can make a massive difference. Obviously in very severe cases like the one it sounds like you're dealing with, professional help is definitely the way forward, and it sounds like that it sadly lacking. Not much more I can say right now, other than hang in there and you will get through it.

 

My OP may have been a little harsh, I'm just hurting and yesterday was a very bad experience.

I understand that for the most part it isn't the fault of the NHS staff; most of them are juggling fifteen balls with one hand. I'm more upset with the broken system that has caused this complete breakdown in care than I am individual members of specific teams. They're between a rock and a hard place; they need to discharge as soon as possible because they simply can't cope with the caseload. But that isn't care. It's sticking a plaster on a broken leg. Not their fault, but it's harmful all the same. I see all this extra money being pumped into the military and I can see so many places it would be better spent to actually help people. That said, the specific service we received from Kendray yesterday was appalling on a personal level. There was one man, whose name I won't mention, who I will never forgive for his sheer arrogance and indifference.

 

There's no excuse for poor service on a personal level, no matter how much pressure the staff are under, really sorry to hear you had to suffer that at what must already have been a ridiculously stressful time for you.

And I completely agree with you about the military. How much better the world would be if governments took everything invested in the military and put it into health care. Blimey, even the USA might be able to afford hospitals for its people. What a radical thought that is!

 

Don't get carried away, decent hospitals are communist and everyone who doesn't pay a six-figure sum for their care leaves wearing a Stalin T-shirt and wanting to bomb the suburbs. Everyone knows that.

 

Exactly. I still can't get my head around the number of Americans who genuinely think that having a free state health care system is an extreme Communist policy and is therefore dangerous (although actually the NHS is based on the Soviet system, we just implemented it better as we were able to pay for it!), and that if you don't want to give people carte blanche to carry a military grade weapon in their car, then you're a fascist!

 

Fully agree with what's been said here. My ex's sister stopped taking her meds years ago and went completely off the rails causing chaos. Ruined her own life, that of her husband and went completely off radar ending up living at a Buddhist commune. As she left a trail of emotional and financial devastation behind her services were unwilling to do anything to intervene unless they perceived her to be a physical threat to someone.
Services are hugely underfunded and we see the results every day.

 

This year has shown one thing. Mental health matters so very very little to both the government and quite a large proportion of the public.

We are constantly told that mental health is just as important as physical health but when it comes down to it many people have proven that they do not actually think that is the case as in order to protect the physical health of the few they have been willing to sacrifice the mental health of the many.

 

Very similar experience with my wife earlier this year. Thankfully she wasn't trying to hurt herself but she was having serious suicidal thoughts and we couldn't leave her unattended. Came away from the hospital feeling nothing had been done and we were just brushed off. Managed 2 phone appointments since and they have now stopped. Just been told they will get back to us when they can.
Happily she's in a much better state of mind now but I think that's more down to how the whole family have rallied around and the decision we as a family have taken to ignore certain aspects of the lockdown this time.
Do you have family or friends who can help you?

 

BDGH mental health team are employed by SWYPFT (the same as kendray hospital). Regarding the member of staff you spoke to well I strongly suggest you make a complaint. Take it to Dan Jarvis or it will go nowhere. Can I ask what support you are seeking from community services, what you've had and why this has been withdrawn?

 

Feel for you mate - never apologise for reaching out on here or anywhere else.

 

Never stay silent mate. Don’t sit back and take *****. That’s no benefit to you and the missus. Keep shouting from the rooftops. It’s the only language some bureaucrats will understand that may lead em into trouble.
Jobsworths. Been stripped of all humanity.

Not a nice thing to consider. But I assume the hospital deemed it not necessary sectioning her. A spouse at one time could request that I believe. if the person is recognised with mental health issues. Mi mam put into the psychiatry ward. On a couple of occasions. Phantom pregnancy issues amongst others.

 

He's not referring to bureaucrats: all the people who he's mentioned that he's come into contact with are mental health nurses.

 

Ok. Buts that’s not how I read it.
apologies.

Before dialling 999 I had tried to get in touch with her 'crisis team', because I needed a professional at the house ASAP. The response was that because she hadmissed an appointment (because she was literally tooill to attend) she was seen as 'not engaging withservices' and therefore no help would be despatched

Bureaucratic statement at least.

 

The crisis team are all mental health nurses. All the community teams are mental health nurses. The managers are mental health nurses. The person who stated no support would be forthcoming as a consequence of a missed appointment is a mental health nurse.