So today I got called transphobic

I just find it hard to believe you have friends *



* this comment is simply for comedy value....I think

 

Actually the person wasn't a friend but a work colleague who has been off sick and I was calling to check they were ok when I found out the news.

 

I thought there was a hint of wallow there or perhaps some pseudo-wallow or maybe some neo-wallowing. All tone and semantics though int it?
P.S I'm a BIM (bloke in mid-life)

 

Agree with a lot of this. One of the main issues for me is that in taking PC to such an absurd extreme, it actually trivialises and devalues a lot of very important issues. Being born into the wrong body or having other gender identity issues is a real problem, and can cause a lot of heartache and mental issues for those affected. However, it is relatively rare. The vast majority of people are born into the "correct" body, and never even consider the idea of needing to transition. That's why when people raising their kids "gender neutral" (by this I mean dressing them androgenously, giving them a completely gender neutral name and refusing to use male / female pronouns) is so completely ludicrous. My daughter loved both lego and dolls when she was little. Now as a slightly older child, she's just as happy climbing trees and playing football as she is doing ballet or making hairstyles with her friends. She's a completely balanced and happy ten year old girl. And she is a girl. This is just a fact. Getting rid of gender stereotyping for activities and interests is vitally important in my opinion. So is raising awareness of gender identity issues. But pretending that your child is neither male nor female on the off chance that they may be unlucky enough to suffer from these issues is very wrong on so many levels.

Another, slightly different (but connected) point of similar absurdity was Oxford University's recent announcement that a certain percentage of any music courses should consist of "black" music, in the name of inclusivity. Black people have sadly been discriminated against in the past in Britain and still are to an extent, but the music world is one area where black British people have been phenomenally successful around the world in their own right, without any daft "positive discrimination" needed. This actually devalues the music which should be judged on its own merits, as well as trivialising the real issues that black people in Britain can face in their lives. Such things give the bigots ammunition against progressive causes, by allowing them to paint them as extreme and absurd, and thus end up being completely counter-productive.

 

Just to say a few points on this issue , one of my children happens to be transgender . Born female but identifies as a male . I don't think people actually realise how absolutely terrifying it is for a then 11 year old child to come out and say their born into the wrong body . Then there's the years of therapy to take on board to help them adjust . Make no mistake it's a long hard road but we did get there in the end with a hell of a lot of support , the key being family support . I normally tend to ignore these sorts of threads due to the limited knowledge of the majority of posters and that's not a critique , it's just how it is . I will say this , if people think having their child born gender neutral is somehow going to make a difference to the trauma any child is going to have to go through then I know 100% that they ve never faced the issue and thus their opinion is not valid or worthwhile .

 

I think that people like STs work colleague might be seen as going overboard but hopefully with this issue being more in the public eye and talked about people born into the wrong gender will find it easier to "come out" and be accepted as has happened with homosexuality . I hope your son is a lot happier now, that's all anyone wants for their children.

 

To be honest there isn't the expertise there at grass roots level . Put it this way he had to drop out of main stream school and go into special ed . Pretty disgusting really but nothing much you can do when you want your child to get an education . Like I say giving your child a fancy acronym at birth won't make a blind bit of difference .

 

But I think things have moved on now and mainstream schools have adapted. Sometimes it takes small steps and maybe STs colleagues one isn't going to make a huge difference but I wouldn't dismiss it out of hand.

 

Not anywhere close I'm afraid Helen . Everything might be dressed up on the surface but your in the lap of the gods whether you have good teachers available to even be able to deal with the situation . I'd also add the first year / 18 months is pretty critical to getting them on their feet . All it takes is a couple of other kids to say things and then you can be looking at other issues such as self harm which is something we had to deal with briefly . He was actually home schooled for a year ( EOTAS I think it's called ) and that was the best thing for him . He just had to deal with his own family then and of course he got our full support . In short there's no way I would trust the state and it's inadequate and underfunded institutions to make the best decisions for my child .

 

i was born and raised in donny and as a kid i used to go and watch rovers at belle vue, i was laid with a few others on top of the trainers dugout with a couple of mates watching the match and eating a FAB lolly when some of the sprinkles fell into the trainers bucket, in a flash one very angry manager told us to "f**k off before he put his boot up our collective a**es", that man was the late, great laurie macmenamy

 

The opening post absolutely comes off the same as any other right wing made up strawman designed to paint a group of people you want to mock as extremists.

Only you know if that’s the case, but that’s absolutely how it comes off so I’m not surprised someone called you out for it.

 

Who am I mocking? It certainly isn't transgender people. The person who said it to me isn't transgender and has never mentioned anything related to transgender in all the years I've known them other than their outburst yesterday.

Which of my acquaintances have I made it up about? I mean you all seem to know me so well right?

Mr mental health expert is being extremely snidey with his likes again I see.

 

Your son is very lucky to have such open-mided and supportive parents. Many don't. And as for my limited knowledge of such things, you're absolutely right. I am that most priviledged of beings, the white, straight, middle-class male. I have always supported liberal and progressive causes, not because I have been directly affected by the issues, but because I want us to live in a kinder world. And that's something that actually affects all of us.

 

It is mocking trans people though isn't it? Just look at the replies to your post. It's painting trans/non-binary people in a bad light and it's causing people to see this as "This is where all this nonsense is leading to. These days if you say you're male you'll be arrested and thrown in jail".

I'm not saying you have made it up, I'm just saying that's how it comes across. As an extremist strawman. It's not worth discussing if it's true or not because only you know the answer to that question. As it happens I think it might well be true. I think you posted it on here in bad faith though to get replies from bigots.

 

You're an intelligent, articulate, self-aware poster who enjoys a debate. The part that, in my opinion, stretches credulity is that you would know someone well enough to phone them to enquire about their post-natal well-being, but not know that a query relating to the gender of their child would provoke a strong response. The premise you lay out to start the discussion just doesn't stack up - in my opinion. The topic is an interesting one and is sure to stimulate a range of responses.

 

I posted it in good faith. You can ask anyone who's read my previous posts on transgender issues, I've always had the same stance which I highlighted above. I will always respect anyone's wishes to be called whatever they want because even if I did disagree with them (I don't) what harm is it doing me to be polite and call them what they wish? I've said that many times over many years.

I've also always said that they should be afforded the same rights as the gender they identify with but that depending on the right that should be after professional diagnosis as a safeguarding issue and that I believe under 16s unable to make such a permanent life-changing decision however I'm more than prepared to be educated on why they can.

That's been my stance for many years on many posts in this board so I say again why do you believe I want to mock people who I support? I do genuinely actually have a couple of transgender friends online by the way and support them all the time. I appreciate that's a bit 'i can't be racist I have a friend who's black' to be fair.

 

I called to ask how they were doing as they've been off work sick, I timed it with the birth of the baby to do a bit of a two birds one stone. And that person has never suggested they have any interest in trans issues at all, they certainly didn't mention anything after the birth of their first child 18 months ago who they announced as a girl and have raised as a girl so it did come completely out of the blue to me. I assure you it's genuine and did happen.

 

What's always lost on here and social media is tone. My initial tone was that you might use when sat in a pub and someone starts telling you about the time they bumped into Prince Andrew in Pizza Express and the whole table shouts 'b0ll0cks you did' at the same time.

 

Hopefully bring a bit of light humour into the thread. My youngest lad (gay) Came to a football weekend at Blackpool. Amongst loads of other Hoyland reds and spouses.
On the advice of one couple. " Let's try funny girls. It's a good night" a lot of us went.
I went to the bar. Paid for a round of drinks and the barman. (transvestite) stroked my hand when giving me my change. I went back to the group and told em.
My lad then said . " don't worry dad you're nowt special. They do it to everyone." Lol

 

Sorry for having an opinion! Christ you're a very angry man aren't you?