Mental health

I've just found out someone i used to work with has taken his own life. 29 years of age.
My wife as I have recently mentioned has been through a terrible time with her mental health that lead to a lengthy hospital stay.
The truth is that the services are stretched and getting help isn't always that easy but it is available.The service My wife has been discharged to is 9-5 Mon/Fri. We have been told to ring 111 if out of those hours which frankly is a waste of time. I can't imagine how difficult is for someone who is alone to access it.
Given the tragic news at the top of this post I think my points is twofold.
If you are struggling of course reach out to anyone you think can help.
And secondly if you think someone else is struggling reach out to them. Check on that friend you haven't spoken to in a while.
Nobody has to be alone. Just on this forum I have had much support in many ways from different kind hearted people.
Mental health conditions are real illnesses and their is no shame in seeking out treatment.

 

That's terrible news.

 

My brother tried to kill himself several times last year after a messy break up and I have to say despite my missis being a MH nurse the support we received was virtually non existent.

There was no room in the hospitals so he ended up being released into our care. I’ve got 2 young kids and he was acting out abusing alcohol but we got half arsed community team visits that were useless from an overstretched team with zero power and almost that much time.

Without the mrs help I think he would be dead now.

The state of MH provision is shocking. Staffing levels are dangerously low. Staff burnout is high. Kept going by agency staff who often have little knowledge of the specific setting. On many occasions the missis is the only qualified member of staff on duty.

Needs massive investment particularly in the wake of Covid which for a variety of reasons will cause greater pressure on services over the next couple of years.

Then there’s the question of pay. Nursing is ridiculously underpaid. There is vague talk of closing the facility my missis works at just because their aren’t the nurses to work there and few are joining. Then our nearest MH facility will be Wakefield.

 

I can empathise with a lot of that with what we are dealing with now. When I am critical of the services I always make sure to tell the staff I appreciate they are not personally responsible for the mess.
I've just spent 4 days debating with gp and the "core" team who is going to be prescribing the wife's meds from here on out following her discharge. It did occur to me that without me fighting this corner she may have just not bothered. It's painful obvious that the outpatient care is none exisant.
We were essentially told on her discharge that really its too soon but she'll genuinely get more support at home than in hospital.
Best wishes to you and your family, hope you continue to pull your bother through this.

 

My cousin is a mental health nurse in Rotherham and she's told similar stories. She went into it after her brother took his own life aged 22.

Didn't know any of this about Neil, I'll drop you a line.

 

And the same to you. Have to say the missis doesn’t have a good word to say about the core team so make sure you fight your corner.

More by luck than anything my brother is now as stable as he’s likely to be but was pretty harrowing and as you know it’s often 1 step forward and 364 steps back.

 

Yeah not something I feel particularly comfortable talking about but @Redstone post made me think it’s important to share.

Hospital staff do an amazing job. A job I couldn’t do in a million years just often they are let down by management politicians and those who work in the community.

 

Thanks, and yes I know all about the failings of the core team. They discharged my wife from their service last year without telling her. Then when she needed support said we would have to go through a referral ect.
As you say its shameful the services have been allowed to get into this state.

 

Hi folks
The OP has given me an idea.
A close family member is due to receive a phone call soon from the Health and Disability Assessment Centre so that her mental health and capacity to work/claim benefit can be assessed. She is effectively to undergo an interview by phone. The trouble is that her mental health condition is such that she cannot cope with telephone conversations and will either fail to do the interview or will go into severe panic and depression by attempting to do it. The Centre refuse to change the terms of the interview and will not wait to do a face to face assessment. The interview is to go ahead. This is in spite of her GP telling them she cannot cope with telephone interviews and in spite of my MP, D Jarvis, contacting them.
I am the family member's carer and have been told that I could possibly be her designated speaker if I contact Employment Support Allowance but I tried the number given and it was automated crap and I couldn't get through.
So to cut a long story short if anyone who has knowledge of the mental health system and can tell me how to make myself a designated speaker for my family member I would appreciate some help.
If I cannot change the way this interview is done she will go into a downward spiral and I am concerned about the consequences. I feel as though the Health and Disability Centre are wanting to assess her mental health without regard for her mental health!! Thanks for any suggestions in advance.

 

I used to visit a relative in a mental hospital and I don't think the nurses are underpaid at all.

All they seemed to do was sit in their office drinking tea while Nursing Assistants actually dealt with the patients.

Maybe Nursing Assistants are underpaid, but if you gave them a rise you'd have to give the underdeserving nurses one too.

Obviously this is not every nurse but far too many.

 

My other half got better treatment from the police officers who detained her in crisis than the actual mental health team.

The Tories have wrecked what was already an inadequate system.

 

@KamikazeCo-Pilot you have Mail

 

Really ‘ undeserving nurses’ This smacks of a political post on behalf of the Tory Party. Let’s stop this pretence/ ignorance that the NHS prior to COVID was in some way a well-run institution by this and previously led Tory- Led Govts. Yes of course this Pandemic has been on the verge of Catastrophic for our NHS, but waiting lists, shortages, lack of proper investment isn’t a product of this Pandemic they existed well before.

 

nurses pay is straightforward there are currently 45k nursing vacancies so the pay isn’t sufficient to attract people. You either increase it or wards and whole hospitals will close.

My missis is attacked fairly regularly. Has to restrain violent people often on drugs stops regular suicide attempts and all for a couple of hundred quid more than working in Aldi. She could leave the NHS and get paid 10k more tomorrow at a private place.

Shifts often end in tears. Unpaid overtime keeps the service going.

the tories have of course deliberately run the service down just like the did with railways etc. It’s a tried and trusted method.

 

Genuine question. If she could leave and get a 10k pay rise doing the same thing for a private company why stay?

 

The idea of public service. Wanting to give something back. She doesn’t believe in private health care and neither of us is especially motivated by money.

 

If I could like this twenty times over I would.

 

I could have almost written @Jimmy viz answer to this word for word.

But then I’ve spent my life working with and being friends with loads of public servants.

 

Why does everyone on this site always play party politics?

The NHS was terrible when Labour was in power too, they signed most of the PFI deals and gave GPs a contract which means they don't have to see patients to get paid. They also let patients die in Stafford hospital.

The NHS won't be fixed by throwing more money at it either, it needs re-structuring to match the health services in other Western European countries.

 

the NHS had been run down by Thatcher so much it was an absolute basket case in 97. I was working for a think tank around then and then funding options were very bleak. PFI wasn’t a great option but other than massive tax rises it was pretty much the only option. For all their faults Labour left the health service in an immeasurably better state when they left. Sure it still had challenges but it was a lot better by any marker.

We spend a much smaller percentage of GDP than most European countries. France and Germany for example spend 3% more of GDP. Would you be happy with the tax rises needed to pay for that.