1 He looks a bit weird.
2 Err...

That's it. That's all his detractors have got. No one attacks his policies, or his delivery, or his integrity, or his morality, just his face. "Look at Ed, he's pulling a funny face, what a wnaker." Compared to the airbrushed, plastic, perfect human beings we usually see on the telly, he does look a bit weird. Compared to us normal folk, with our beer bellies, receding hair lines, skin like a horror film and features designed by Picasso, he's a reight catch.

Cameron looks OK. He's never going to win a Mr England competition, but he's perfectly presentable. So if that's what you're in to, vote for him. Ignore the fact that he'll cost you your job and maybe your house, rip the heart out of the NHS, deny your kids a proper education and condemn them to a zero hour contract in a job that will rip the life out of them. Watch them crumble before your eyes if you wish. He looks alright, so he's your man.

Unless you like a bloke who enjoys a beer, then you can vote for Farage. So long as you ignore that everything he stands for will wipe away what yer mam and yer dad and yer grandparents and yer great grandparents spent their entire lives fighting for. Equality - rich or poor, man or woman, gay or straight, black or white, that's the gift they gave us. It took them about 100 years. You can get rid of it in the time it takes to put a cross on a ballot paper if you like.

Ed Miliband isn't perfect. Far from it, and he'd be the first to admit it. But he's so far ahead of the opposition that there isn't a choice. Don't destroy the next generation.

If you vote for Ed things will probably still be shit. But they're not going to continue to get even worse.