Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

  1. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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  2. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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  3. Did

    Didcot Red Well-Known Member

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    A couple from Tony Blackburn's SOTS this morning:

    I took the shell off my racing snail thinking it would make it go faster. If anything it was more sluggish.

    They seem to be giving the Nobel Prize out for virtually anything nowadays. A farmer was awarded one for being outstanding in his field.
     
  4. kestyke

    kestyke Well-Known Member

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  5. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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    The wife said if you're bored why don't you make a bird table?
    Now she's kicking off because I've put her in fifth place.
     
  6. Exi

    Exile Well-Known Member

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    I was at a job interview yesterday when the manager handed me a laptop and said: “I want you to try to sell this to me.”

    So I put it under my arm, left the building and went home.

    Later he called me and said: “Bring my laptop back now.”

    I said: “£200 and it’s yours.”
     
  7. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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  8. dreamboy3000

    dreamboy3000 Well-Known Member

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    "World class" response to Covid.....

     
  9. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    Just seen this - its a day or so old but definitely quality
     
  10. rey

    reytfan Well-Known Member

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    The famous actor Yul Brynner was a lifelong Liverpool fan and he never used aftershave.

    That's right, yul never wore cologne
     
  11. Exi

    Exile Well-Known Member

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    Told my suitcases yesterday that there'd be no holidays this year.

    Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.
     
  12. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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  13. MarioKempes

    MarioKempes Well-Known Member

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  14. Redstone

    Redstone Well-Known Member

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    I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

    He said “no”.
     
    budmustang, Mido, Didcot Red and 7 others like this.
  15. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

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    Don't let them take your temperature when you go in a supermarket!!
    It ERASES your memory!
    I went in for 3 loaves of bread and came out with 2 crates of beer
     
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  16. thetykester

    thetykester Well-Known Member

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    Just been into bar in Ambleside, ordered 6 pints of Old Rosie, 6 Sambukas,6 double Jamesons & 3 gin n tonics. I said can I pay by card? Yes, what card have you got? I said 6 of clubs.
     
  17. Tyke_67

    Tyke_67 Well-Known Member

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    As i walked passed two women in town yesterday, One woman said to the other:

    "You can get it up further if you squeeze it hard enough"

    I have no idea what they were talking about, but it sounded funny
     
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  18. Archey

    Archey Well-Known Member

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    I had a weird dream last night that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like 0mg!
     
  19. cor

    cornwall tyke Well-Known Member

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  20. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    R u the owner of Wigan Athletic FC by any chance:D
     
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