The Sixteen Commandments of Growing Old

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by RedStriker, Sep 19, 2019.

  1. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    #1 - Talk to yourself, because there are times you need expert advice.

    #2 - Consider "In Style" to be the clothes that still fit.

    #3 - You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.

    #4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

    #5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."

    #6 - You have days when your life is just a tent away from a circus.

    #7 - These days, "on time" is when you get there.

    #8 - Even duct tape can't fix stupidity - but it does muffle the sound.

    #9 - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

    #10 - Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you

    #11 - "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering why you're there.

    #12 - When you were a child, you thought nap time was punishment. Now it feels like a mini vacation.

    #13 - Some days you have no idea what you're doing out of bed.

    #14 - You thought growing old would take longer.

    #15 - Aging sure has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.

    #16 - You still haven't learned to act your age, and hope you never will.
     
  2. Cow

    Cowboy Well-Known Member

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    In a nutshell pal:D
     
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  3. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

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    And.... walking behind a woman of your own age and saying to yourself, "Look at the arse on that !!"
     
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  4. Redarmy87

    Redarmy87 Well-Known Member

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  5. LiverpoolRed

    LiverpoolRed Well-Known Member

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    Spam e mails you receive for cougar dating are now younger than you
     
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  6. Til

    Tilertoes Well-Known Member

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    The smug, contented knowledge that you’ve not long left until the sweet relief of death
     
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  7. Xer

    Xerxes Well-Known Member

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    As Fred Wedlock said, “You’re only as old as the woman you feel.”
     
  8. 55&counting

    55&counting Well-Known Member

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    superb!
     
  9. Old Goat

    Old Goat Well-Known Member

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    I got to the end of the list and thought, "Where's #17? I'm sure there were supposed to be 17 things." Then I checked the title again..

    I must be getting old...:(
     
  10. icer

    icer Well-Known Member

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    Pre 40. You tell your mates that you have shagged someone that you haven't really.
    Post 40. You tell your mates that you haven't shagged someone that you have really.
     
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