The things they say.

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Donny Red, May 31, 2017.

  1. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

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    Bought a book on some of the things that players, managers and people in football and rugby have said down the years. To lighten the mood until our new signings are announced thought I'd share a few:

    On being told by the trainer that his star man had concussion and didn't know his name Partick Thistle boss
    John Lambie said " tell him he's Pele and send him back on."

    Robbie Fowler was big mates with Jason McAteer when they were both at Liverpool and recalls some of the things McAteer did during that time.

    Robbie was sat at a table having his dinner after the days training at Melrose. McAteer was in the queue.
    On the counter was a wicker container with sachets of mayonnaise, vinegar, brown and red sauce in it.
    Robbie shouted " Macca chuck us some ketchup." Macca shouts back " brown or red."?

    McAteer was filling out an application for a Credit card and asked Robbie to check it.
    Where it said Position in Company McAteer had written Full back.

    Robbie, Jason and two other players were on a night out in Liverpool. They decided to eat and entered a Kebab/Pizza shop. Three of the lads ordered a kebab and Macca ordered a pizza.
    The young lass asked him if he wanted it cutting into eight or sixteen. Deadpan Macca replied " eight please
    I don't think I could eat sixteen" and Fowler says he was deadly serious as the other three fell about laughing.

    When asked as Captain what effect Roy Keane's injury would have on Manchester United Rio Ferdinand replied.
    "He's a big player for us but we've got Gary Neville who will pick up the mantelpiece."!!!!

    On finding out that St Helens Rugby Club were paying South African winger Tom Vanvollenhoven in the Summer star hooker Alex Murphy went to see the Chairman and demanded he be paid in the off season.
    The Chairman said " Spud you are not trying to tell me you are as good as Tom are you."?
    Murphy replied " I am in't f*uckin Summer". He was told " I'll give you ten bob you cheeky lovely person now get out."

    When he finally managed the Club they said they would pay his telephone bill to cover the costs when he was talking to other Clubs to sign players.At the first Board meeting Alex handed the phone bill along with his electric bill to the Chairman. When asked why , his response was " I'm phoning Australia so I have to have mi lights on to see what Im doing."

    And finally the legendary Kelvin Skerrett formerly of Leeds and Great Britain was on tour to Papua New Guinea and New Zealand with the Lions. He was in the breakfast queue in New Zealand and as he moved along he was making his requests to the servers e.g. " two eggs please, two sausages, tomatoes, fried bread, black pudding, mushrooms and finally four rashers of bacon." The young girl said " sorry sir we don't have any bacon left." Kelvin turned to Andy Farrell and said " a country wi six million sheep and they ant got
    any f*ckin bacon." and tutted, Not the sharpest knife in the box was Kelvin.

    Any body got any others to relieve the boredom.?
     
    Last edited: May 31, 2017
  2. Xer

    Xerxes Well-Known Member

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    Patrick Thistle?
     
  3. Gordon Owen

    Gordon Owen Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant.
     
  4. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

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    Apple i Pad. ! Typed the correct name but it changes it to Patrick.
    Anybody know how to stop it.?

    Just seen another that tickled me. Joe Lydon of Widnes RLFC had just missed a vital penalty kick to win a local derby.
    He was walking off with his head bowed as his Manager " the Wild Bull of the Pampas" Vince
    Karalius came towards him. Vince said " you ought to be choked." Joe said " I am boss." Vince says
    "No, No you ought to be f*ckin choked you useless t*at and I might do it when we get into that dressing room."
    Joe thought it best to go and sit somewhere out of reach while Vince calmed down.
     
  5. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    On finding out that St Helens Rugby Club were paying South African winger Tom Vanvollenhoven in the Summer star hooker Alex Murphy went to see the Chairman and demanded he be paid in the off season.
    The Chairman said " Spud you are not trying to tell me you are as good as Tom are you."?
    Murphy replied " I am in't f*uckin Summer". He was told " I'll give you ten bob you cheeky lovely person now get out."

    A similar situation took place at oakwell with billy houghton.....I worked with billy in the 70s on the building site ( a joiner by trade was billy and a true gentleman in every sense of the word.).....and vaguely remember him telling me about the time he asked for a rise in wages....i forget who the striker that was involved but billy said i score the same amount of goals in the close season so that makes us equally as good.....unfortunately for billy he was realeased not long after and got classed as a problem in the dressing room...lol[/QUOTE]
     
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  6. mikeytyke34

    mikeytyke34 Active Member

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    What's the book called?
     
  7. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

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    Apple i Pad. ! Typed Partick honest but it changes it to Patrick.
    Anybody know how to stop it.?

    Just seen another that tickled me. Joe Lydon has just missed a vital penalty kick to win the Challenge Cup for
    Widnes at Wembley. He was walking off with his head bowed as his Manager " the Bull of the Pampas" Vince
    Karalius came towards him. Vince said " you ought to be choked." Joe said " I am."
    No, No you ought to be choked you useless t*at and I might do it when we get into that dressing room."
    Joe thought it best to go and sit on the team coach still in his kit till Vince has calmed down.
    He later went on to win medals with Wigan in the final.
    My lads taken it to read whilst he's on holiday in Cala Bona. Post its title when I get it back.
    There's another with just football quotes in that I've got. That's called "The Big book of Football's Funniest Quotes"
    Published by Carlton books www.carltonbooks.co.uk ISBN 978-1-84732-622-5
    If I remember correctly I got it from the Garden Centre at Shelley. Should have been £9.99 reduced to £3.99.
    Some of the ones I've mentioned are also in that one as well. There's some crackers re- Ian Rush on his time at Juventus
    " I just couldn't settle in Italy. It was like living in a foreign country." Priceless.
     
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  8. LDR

    LDRed Well-Known Member

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    If that's the level of "entertainment" in the book, I'd rather not know!
     
  9. Donny Red

    Donny Red Well-Known Member

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    Started reading a book on "Gravity" last night . I can't put it down.!
     
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