Funniest thing I have read this year..

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http://fansonline.net/blackpool/mb/view.php?id=983321
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Funniest thing I've read for a number of years

Laughing my t***s off at that - one of the best pieces of p**s taking I've ever read.

 

That is **** take at it's quality best. Proper lol.

 

absolutely superb

 

Apparently Sky are showing the match in 4D

My favourite: -

Work is set to begin this week on the largest civil engineering project in the history of mankind, and the largest outside of deepspace sector 9. Proposals to widen sections of the M1, M62, M61 and M55 motorways have been approved during an emergency meeting at the House of Commons in the wake of Sundays F.A cup draw which paired together barely noticeable Blackpool F.C with 76 time Intergalactic Champions, and awesomely MASSIVE, Wendy F.C of Sheffield.

The governments plan, initially, was to widen the above mentioned routes by adding a meagre 15 lanes to each side of the carriageway but, after an intense period of lobbying from such figures as, Keith Barron from Duty Free, Former ABC frontman Martin Fry, Leslie Ash and, last but not least, Phil Oakey from Human League, have decided to widen all routes connecting the two towns by a staggering 12,000 lanes, to a total finished width of 34 miles.

A spokesman for the highways agency told us "As a consequence of the MASSIVE numbers of travelling fans expected to travel over the pennines we've had to take these drastic measures. It will be necessary to level a significant number of suburban areas, including such towns as:- Barnsley, Leeds, Halifax and Huddersfield, as well as some smaller towns, such as Preston, Burnley and Blackburn. Most of Greater Manchester will disappear under the new WENDYS WAY, along with half of the Ribble Valley and a significant portion of lancashire. We have enlisted the help of the Chinese branch of the SWFC supporters club (some 2 billion strong!) to help us in the construction of the project which we estimate will be completed some time within the next 3 days!"

Funding for this project remains an issue with other sections of the country outraged at the prospect of having to shell out taxpayers money for the sole benefit of the largest single institution in the known universe. Samuel Thrift, speaking on behalf of the tax payers alliance, had this to say - "We at the tax payers alliance feel that the use of taxpayers money is entirely unnecessary as the wendys are clearly a MASSIVE club with MASSIVE reserves of cash. We estimate, taking into account their average home attendance of 9.2 billion, that their liquid assets sit at somewhere in the region of 760 trillion pounds! We also estimate that the revenue raised from scarf sales alone at a single home game would be sufficient to fund this project entirely from start to finish!"

Also today: McDonalds (previously the largest corporation on earth) have announced that they plan to increase the number of their restaurants inside Hillsborough, the worlds most MASSIVE ground, to an impressive 20,000. Chuck Todd, head of global tacticalisationalistics for McDonalds said "Howdy Partner! Without the MASSIVE revenue streams created on a match day by the simple, 11 fingered denizens of Yorkshires darkest corner we'd go down theXXXXXXpipe in a week. U.S.A...U.S.A!"

When asked for his thoughts on the upcoming game, Wendys manager Sir Gary Megson had this to say: "We're so MASSIVE that I confidently predict somewhere between a three figure and four figure scoreline. Either way, I stil won't smile!"

 

I love how they've picked up on the Massive!

 

brilliant!

 

I like this one

"Whilst it is widely accepted that the assassination of Franz Ferdinand kicked off World War one, it's a less known fact that before he was killed he, whilst at a dinner party, had turned to a guest and remarked that 'Sheffield Wednesday are such an awful tinpot club'. We all know what followed next

In recent secret diaries written my Hitler, it shows his obsession with The Massive, and his ultimate downfall was trying to make the German empire as strong and as massive, which led to his downfall."

 

and this one ....

NEWSFLASH FROM THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC

Sources at the MoM have today confirmed that Hogwarts school is to undergo significant extension work.

"Our pupils will insist on corresponding with parents using MASSIVE Owls", said a spokesman. "The school was never designed for this".

In other news, one of the famous school's Houses is to be re-named in honour of the world's biggest club. It will henceforth be known as "Huffandpuff", to commemorate Wednesday's efforts since 1994.

 

Do you remember when this board used to be like that?

 

Thats what I thought as I read it. It makes thi yearn for the old bbs tbh

 

Sadly I do.

Doubt if it will ever return to what it was.

 

Leeds fans take note... these clubs don't realise what lovely personts other fans think they are. Brilliant thread.