Criteria to be a "proper fan"

I see a lot of people claiming to be a proper fan so I think we need to outline the official criteria for a proper fan:
1) have season ticket
2) live with in a two mile radius
3) moan alot
4) attend most cup games even Cheltenham away
5) attend away games that constitute a 600 mile round trip (local darbys don't count as only plastic fans go to these)
6) don't attend man c away under any circumstances
7) subscribe to Barnsley player
8) when accepting a new job have it on the contract never to work a Saturday during the season

Feel free to add your own

 

You forgot not to attend MK Dons too

 

Be called Conan.

 

Lol

 

I'd just like to change the wording to one of your points as a the moment I'm 1/8ths a proper fan and that I feel that my fellow part time fans will bully and tease me with this point. Therefore, I suggest a slight amendment to point 6 to include the word "deliberately" and then I can rest happy that I am not a proper fan and keep the respect and kudos of my part time brothers

 

i) Their opinions are absolute fact and cannot be questioned;
ii) Other views are irrelevant and have no authority.

 

I don't qualify.
I moan a lot (3) and have Player (7).
Must try harder.

 

Things must have changed. In my day proper fans didn't moan and tended to hound those who did. Their mantra was 'get behind em' and anyone who couldn't find the positives in a 7-0 home defeat to Truro Ladies 2nd XI in the 1st round of the FA cup was some sort of ill-informed pessimist who ought to support Wednesday or something. I watched a football match once. Chris Shuker was playing. I didn't enjoy it.

 

I would say you have to defend the indefensible at all costs, repeat the mantra that a certain player is good enough when they are quite clearly chuffin' useless and to tell anyone to go and watch Man Utd if they don't subscribe to this view.

 

Further - if you think you're a proper fan and a better fan than others

Then you're just a lovely person.

 

I've been thinking about this recently:

1) You must take your holidays between the final game of the football season, including all play-off finals and European finals, and the first game of pre-season, so not to miss one minute of Barnsley's season. This rule takes into consideration Barnsley being in any play-off final in the football league pyramid, as well as being in a champions league final or European qualifier.

2) You must have been one of the 60 odd fans that attended Swansea vs Barnsley on that Tuesday night a few years ago, 2010? Not sure of the exact number or date, but i'm not a proper fan, i'm not even getting a season ticket this season. This rule is to minimise the number of people actually claiming to be a proper fan.

3) You must have attended at least one overseas training session or behind closed doors match on one of the reds summer tours. Further to this, if you have booked the holiday prior to the location of the summer training camp being announced, and are coincidentally in the same place at the same time as the team, you are automatically disqualified. To be a proper fan, you must book a holiday to coincide with the team's summer training camp, photo evidence is required to prove your claim; A picture with your arm around the club captain or manager is acceptable, but extra 'proper fan' points are awarded for fans who have a picture of themselves drinking shots with at least one first team player.

4) You must have had 'Cocoon' by Timerider on every single mobile phone you have used which has the capabilities to accept custom ringtones. Further to this, you must have tried to compose it on one of the old Nokia phones with the monophonic ringtone composer.

5) A proper fan always does something to acknowledge the 26th of April every year. Acceptable celebrations include, booking the day off of work in order to watch 'A season to remember', go out for a drink, google the entire 96/97 squad to see where they are now, or fly out to Trinidad to place a card or flowers at the foot of the Clint Marcelle shrine which they have built on a previous anniversary.

6) Named at least one of their children after a Barnsley player. Middle names aren't included, first names are the only acceptable method. Further to this rule, the first name of the child must be the surname of a player (past or present), and claiming you called your son Neil because of Neil Redfearn, isn't proof enough. The more bizarre or obscure the better. Names such as Regis, Rigters, Odejayi or Jeronimo are particularly encouraged.

 

9. Know what Bobby Hassell earns a week.

 

ha ha ha, I definitely tried!

 

Is the two-mile radium from the centre circle or any of the land that has Oakwell's facilities on it? It's just I'm extremely border-line and this thread has woken me up to the fact that I might not be a reight fan.

 

Proper fans don't go to away matches as that is giving money to opposing clubs

 

Evidently, a proper fan moans...about everything...nothing is positive and they post their whiny, defeatist ***** 24/7 on here.

 

nope I'm with Gaz on this one even after 15 defeats on the spin including a 10 -0 to a 3rd division academy side where the keepers chucked half a dozen in and we haven't created a chance all afternoon the mantra of a 'proper fan' should always be get behind em whilst at the same time never wasting a chance to say how many games you've been to (often in a pretty short life) and berate any poor fecker who has supported the club for many years and for some reason no longer has enough time/money to get to even every home game . Oh and to tell them they are no longer a proper fan because for some reason they have decided to clothe and feed their kids instead of buying a season ticket

 

Must have a Bobby Hassell face mask

 

Have owned a Colchester ticket stub and was in the away end at anfield

 

1) If you live in the ML3 area
2) If you own one of Bobby Hassell's shirts
3) If you're a season ticket holder
4) If you went to Luton away in 2006
5) If you didn't go to Man City away in the FA Cup


That about sums it up