Shaking hands

I remember, not that long ago, when shaking hands was just a greeting and a show of respect. You'd shake hands in formal situations like job interviews, or if you met someone for the first time, or if you bumped in to an old mate you hadn't seen for ages. You didn't have to think about your handshake and you wouldn't judge someone else by their's.

Then, probably some time in the mid 90s, some nobhead lifestyle guru in some nobhead lifestyle magazine suggested that we should judge people by their handshake and the way to go was firm. The firmer the better. So from then on, whenever you offered your hand to someone it was met with a vice like grip. Not wanting to be outdone, you gave the same back. Men being men, the whole thing turned in to a competition.

Now, if someone offers you their hand, they don't want to shake it, they want a ******* battle and if one of you doesn't come away with their metacarpals in splinters it's a poor show.

Enough already. Let's just ******* stop it, find the daft b'astard who suggested this was all a good idea, break his hands and go back to the way it was.

 

LDRed doesn't like the feel of other people's hands. So he shakes their hands. Then has a go at them for having hands.

 

I prefer a fistbump. It's the future.

 

I broke my virginity on the fist bump just last week. Someone offered me their fist and I looked at them gone out for about 10 seconds before I realised what to do. I found the whole experience mortifying and had to go home and drink a lot of beer. I'm about as street as a Hugh Grant character.

Even if you are in to that sort of thing it'll be ruined soon enough. Some magazine will run an article saying the fist bump is old hat and the face punch is the way forward. The harder the better.

 

I think the Eskimo nose rub is the way forward

 

Or what about the booty bump?....or is that too gay?

 

That reminds me of owd `Shake hands' in Boys From The Blackstuff, no match for Yosser though.

 

Sorry Jay but I am with the nobhead lifestyle guru. Limp handshakes are pathetic, shake it like it means something or don't bother.

 

I've got to admit that I really do like a firm grip during a handshake - I really do get suspicious of a man who shakes hands in a limp-wristed fashion.

 

There's a firm handshake and then there's the special sort of ****** that tries to squeeze your bones to dust. Unresolved masculinity issues probably.

 

I wondered how long it would be before the French got a mention in this thread. To be fair to them, they manage to have everyone shaking hands with almost everyone else (everyone they don't kiss, in fact) without resorting to awkwardness, limp-wristed effeminacy or overcompensating machismo so judging from this thread we're playing catch-up on that front.

 

It's considered rude not to shake somebody's hand in Germany.