What is your worst injury ?

Something different and cheery

Had a variety of injuries from playing football often and to a decent level but last nights was a novelty Eduardo of Arsenal style ankle break which has filled me with New Years joy.

So I've been thinking, what's everyones worst injury ? I can imaging theres some decent stories going. I'd say my most dramatic was when I was riding my bike on a gravel car park when I was 10 and tried going round in a circle like a Moto GP driver really close to the floor. So close in fact, that I left a large chunk of the skin around my ribcage on the car park.

Happy days.

So go nuts with your story and share your misery.

 

Pulled a wishbone at xmas....

 

Punched a post that hard I broke my hand in 3 places at bramall lane about 10 years ago

 

laughing, thats a manly injury there, I punched a hole in my bedroom wall years ago, but it was only that thin stuff. Nothing as awesome as smashing a post.

 

First of all ouch and I mean OUCH !!!! that sounds horrendous ! I hope they can put your ankle back together again.

Mine was in 1983 going up for a header at speed. I got sandwiched between two players and 'pinged' up in the air. I remember seeing my legs above me. I landed straight armed and dislocated my elbow about three inches out of its socket. The pain was excruciating. It was the full job lot immobilised, ambulance on the pitch, sirens blaring.

When I got to the hospital every time the elbow waggled around it was hitting all the nerve endings.

Eventually after much examination a couple of the male nurses explained that they couldn't get an anesthetist for a couple of couple of hours... so one grabbed hold of me around the shoulder and the other 'yanked' it back into place... oh how I laughed at this merry jape ! It did work though and the relief after the relocation was immense. Thanks BDGH, no really thanks.

Six months of physio and the arm was strong enough to, as the specialist said ' throw a good punch' I said 'that's great cos I couldn't before' true story BTW.

Anyway first game of five a side back and I did my ankle ligaments ! ho hum

 

Playing football, take your pick from I've torn ankle legimants, broke my finger in 4 places, broke a metacarpel, broke my nose, dislocated my shoulder and dislocated my A/C joint.

But the worst, which ended my 11 a side playing days, was a complete repture of my rec fem, which is basically the big quad muscle that runs up the front of your thigh. It tore just above my knee and they couldn't reattach it. The muscle isn't connected to anything now and just floats halfway up the front of my thigh and contracts up in to a ball every time I move my leg. Plus there's a horrible grove belwo it where the muscle should sit. My leg modelling days are definitely over

 

I broke my leg in September 2009 and was out six months. I also did my MCL in November, and I've just started on the comeback trail!

 

Snapped my anterior cruciate ligament playing football.

The pain was like have triplets with no epidural, whilst having 4 teeth extracted without anaesthetic, having my nipples shaved off with a cheese grater, rubbing Fiery Jack on my ****** and peeing on a spark plug. All at the same time.

 

Amongst numerous other injuries, and I injure myself almost every day nowadays (this comes from not being able to feel my arms and legs properly), the most horrendous sounding one was when I pulled my big toenail off in one clean go on one of those four seater bikes on holiday. I was steering the bike, whilst my wife was pulling it backwards out of a car park. I was wearing flip flops and felt sudden pain in my left foot. I looked down to see my foot getting squashed in between the pedal and the mudguard over the wheel. We stopped, moved the bike forward a bit and I took my foot out. The problem is, if i can't see my hands or feet I am never entirely sure where they are.

Anyway, we started reversing again and I kept my eye on my left foot to make sure it didn't get trapped again. Problem was, in watching my left foot I took my eye off my right foot. The wife pulled the bike back with a little more force this time and again I felt searing pain, but in my right foot. I looked down and saw all the blood, so i realised I'd done something major, but it's only when the wife had a close look that we realised what had happened. She had a look round the car park and found my nail, completely intact. Fortunately it was only a couple of days before we were coming home. Interestingly enough this was a year after i had broken a toe at the same place by walking into a bed.

So there I was with a throbbing, bleeding big toe and we realised that firstly, we had to take the bike back and, secondly, I needed to visit the hardly-any-English speaking doctor. So I had no choice but to help ride the bike back into town. That wasn't easy. And the reason I mentioned the lack of good English from the doctor, was that he was trying to explain something to me and i couldn't understand him. I knew about it a few seconds later though, because what he was saying was "okay sir, I am about to pour neat iodine solution on to the bare nail bed and this may sting a little". Jesus, I nearly hit my head on the ceiling! And this is from someone who has lived in chronic pain for 14 years!

So the next time you say "I'd rather have my big toe nail ripped out than watch the X-Factor" I can categorically say, no you wouldn't!

 

knocked my front tooth out with a crown green bowling ball aged 10

Was Saturday evening and me dad had to take me to the emergency dentist in Doncaster, 8 injections in the roof of the mouth, 3 hours in the dentist chair and a drill / file to get rid of the rest of the tooth i was sorted, a replacement was made... more injections and away i went until it fell out every 6 months as my jaw bone was growing. you guessed it ....more injections, more drilling, more chuffing teeth and dentist visits than i care to remember

ive now had a titanium rod inserted into the jaw bone instead of a root and its bob on....looks like new!


just goes to show crown green bowling is a violent hardcore sport!

 

Hemsworth once had a horrific anal prolapse after being double teamed by Darren Moore & Noel Blake.
Claret everywhere.
Not nice.

 

I heard it was Dion Dublin and Mandingo

 

You been watching Redsquirreltube again ?

 

Or Michael Carberry & Curtly Ambrose?

Owzat?
It's prolapsed, that's what it is.

 

Fractured my skull, twice, 5 years apart, both in Darton Rec, both involving the same swing. When I was 11, we were swinging the swings and jumping over them. I got my foot caught in one, did a loop the loop and landed on my head. Knocked myself out for about 30 seconds but then felt OK. After about half an hour things started getting weird and I went doolally for a couple of days. Apparently I was telling all the docs in the hospital to '**** off' and trying to rob the car keys off strangers to make an escape.
5 years later I was swinging on the same swing, taking it as high as it could go and doing the bumps. At the highest point the chain snapped and I went somersaulting in to the air and came down on my head. Looked quite impressive according to my mates. Same deal as the first time, although I was ready this time so called an ambulance straight away and I didn't get so aggressive. None of your nice soft stuff to land on in those days, just concrete.
To be honest, I think they explain a lot.

Smashed my front teeth out. Walking across the top of the monkey bars on the climbing frame, jumped down through the bars and caught my face on them as I went through.

Couple of big burn scars on my left leg. Had a box of matches in the pocket of my skin tight jeans. A 'friend' hit me on the leg and the box ignited, burning a great hole in my thigh. The other from riding a motorbike in shorts and putting my leg on the exhaust.

Got a nice dint in my chin when another 'friend' hit me with a golf club. He didn't mean to like, I was just stood too close to him. He swung back and nearly took my head off.

The most painful injury was ripping a disc in my back lifting a bag of coal from the floor to the back of a lorry, so I've got a good scar from the operation I eventually got on that. The most painful thing I've ever had wasn't an injury as such but a burst appendix, which my GP kindly diagnosed as gastroenteritis, so I sat at home for two weeks in agony, slowly going septic with peritonitis. I eventually couldn't take it any more and walked to the hospital. They had to cut me two, take my insides out and wash me out with an hosepipe, so the scar from that takes up half my torso.

If we're having an 'injury off' thems my offerings. I reckon I could give Quint and Hooper a run for their money.

Show me the way to go home, I'm tired and I wanna go to bed, I had a little drink about an hour a go and it's gone right to my head...

 

Snapped banjo.

 

BFC Dave - had me in stitches, thanks buddy

Gordon - I sympathise majorly, was once in a coma (had my drink spiked) and it was bizarre to say the least, I couldn't move/talk/do anything but I was aware of everything going on around me, anyhow in the ambulance the paramedic with me was having a right old time of it with my mates, he said something along the lines of - 'when they're in a coma you can have a reyt laugh wi em' and proceeded to twist my ear until it would twist no more in a bid to see how severe my coma was. That hurt a lot. Then when I got to hospital I had another one which is how I can relate, where they stuck a scalpel/knife/something underneath my toenail to the bottom (to see how bad my coma was) I didn't respond outwardly to either of these modern hi-tec tests but in my head I was screaming, so if you had extended time with no toenail I feel for you pal.

Jay - You win. Congrats

 

pmsl!

 

Had my nose broken, and front teeth kicked out playing football (goalkeeper)

Received an eye injury when kicked in the head playing football (goalkeeper)

Made a come back 4 years after the eye injury and in the first game broke my wrist (goalkeeper)

Made another comeback at the age of 59 and dislocated my shoulder playing football (goalkeeper).

Can anyone see a pattern developing?