My weekly serious thread..

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/national/news/10983098._/?

Thoughts?

 

Not bigger than pigs though.

 

Eeeeeeeeeeeek. Is my thought but then I chuffing hate rats.

 

This isn't a new story, the writers have obviously never heard of Splinter. They're going to **** themselves when they see the size of Raphael

 

Absolute utter *****.........

 

Turning this into another Sheffield Wednesday thread?

 

Need some bloody big traps

 

One of the reasons rats do so well and flourish in such numbers, is that they're small, so can get in to small places to hide and avoid predators, mainly man and domestic cats and dogs. If some of them start getting bigger they'll not be able to use the same hidey holes, they'll be out in the open and, if man is around or his pets, they'll be killed. If you're dead, you don't get to do any shagging, don't have any babies and there are no big rat kids. Mr and Mrs average rat on the other hand have thousands of normal size rat kids.

If there are no predators around then they could get bigger, if the eco system can support a bigger animal. However, thing with rats is, they tend to only be where man is, because that's how they got there in the first place, on our ships. They've gone where man has gone.

It will actually already have been happening for thousands of years. Some rats will have been bigger than others. These rats wouldn't have been able to hide as well as the smaller ones, they will have been out in the open and killed, not reproduced and not passed that gene for a bigger size to the next generation. Survival of the fittest and the fittest in the case of rats is the size they are now. That's the size that suits their environment the best.

If anyone has been arsed to study them I would bet that the mean size of a population of rats varies quite significantly from place to place, depending on the environment they live in and which size suits that environment the best.

Anyway, even if that's all bollacks and we're just going to get super big rats, it's not going to happen next week. We'll all be well dead as well as many generations after us.

Or summat.

 

Sometimes they just can't resist peeking out from their safe hidey hole

 

Impressive. Well presented, with numerous pertinent points.
Bugger Leicester University. I'm popping round to your house in Ward Green and let you teach me about Ancient Archaeology. It's a damn sight nearer and I already know I like the tutor!

 

Those are pretty much my thoughts on the topic. First thing I thought after reading the article was "but they live among us (humans)". So they'll stay the same size, surely? Aren't they one of the biggest mass producers or whatever? Sure they're increasing in numbers all the time, so they're thriving already. Why would they need to evolve into a bigger rat?

But then, I'm hardly an expert on rodents. I didn't even 'get' Roland when he was on TV.

 

I'll give my first lecture now.

Title: Everything I know about Ancient Archaeology:

erm




Don't think you'll pass mate.

 

There's a chance we might get the opportunity to visit some ancient sites in the Eastern Mediterranean. I'm sure you'll enjoy the sights, the food, the alcohol and the archaeology. Well, perhaps it might just be me who'll enjoy the archaeology!

 

Ancient Archaeology - the scientific art of pretending old rocks are tools.

 

It was a Neolithic hand axe. IT WAS! It was, it was, it was.*









*Stamps foot and waves fist angrily at screen for greater, dramatic emphasis.

 

They could just get married and achieve the exact same result.

 

It's the 21st century, there's no need to get married, just live together.

 

Chortle. Separate rooms are all the rage.

 

At least you don't have a shatteringly expensive divorce to pay for.

 

By my reckoning there were around 21,500 at Hillsborough on Saturday.