Heaven

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board ARCHIVE' started by Jay, Apr 10, 2014.

  1. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    Can you pay on the gate?
     
  2. Mrs

    MrsHallsToffeerolls Well-Known Member

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    St Peter Ridsdale flashing his pearlies would let anyone in for a price.
     
  3. Sopwith Camel

    Sopwith Camel Well-Known Member

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    [FONT=arial,helvetica]The Gates of Paradise[/FONT][FONT= ][/FONT][FONT= ][FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica][/FONT][/FONT]
    [FONT= ][FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica]A soldier named Nobushige came to Hakuin, and asked: "Is there really a paradise and a hell?"[/FONT][/FONT]
    [FONT= ][FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica]"Who are you?" inquired Hakuin.[/FONT][/FONT]
    [FONT= ][FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica]"I am a samurai," the warrior replied.[/FONT][/FONT]
    [FONT= ][FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica]"You, a soldier!" exclaimed Hakuin. "What kind of ruler would have you as his guard? Your face looks like that of a beggar."[/FONT][/FONT]
    [FONT= ][FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica]Nobushige became so angry that he began to draw his sword, but Hakuin continued: "So you have a sword! Your weapon is probably much too dull to cut off my head."[/FONT][/FONT]
    [FONT= ][FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica]As Nobushige drew his sword Hakuin remarked: "Here open the gates of hell!"[/FONT][/FONT]
    [FONT= ][FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica]At these words the samurai, perceiving the master's discipline, sheathed his sword and bowed.[/FONT][/FONT]
    [FONT= ][FONT=verdana,arial,helvetica]"Here open the gates of paradise," said Hakuin.[/FONT][/FONT]
     
  4. Marc

    Marc Administrator Staff Member Admin

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  5. tosh

    tosh Well-Known Member

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    Its by invite only. RSVP not required. Why, haven't you got yours?
     
  6. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    Thankfully not, no. Eternity with a bunch of Christians. That's not for me.
     
  7. RichK

    RichK Well-Known Member

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    It used to be a tenner, but was open til 4. More of a door than a gate though, but you could pay on it. Had some messy nights in there.
     
  8. Mrs

    MrsHallsToffeerolls Well-Known Member

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    Dribbling all over Ponty.
     
  9. Plankton Pete

    Plankton Pete Well-Known Member

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    That won't be an issue; word on the grapevine is that the Jews were right all along.
     
  10. Sco

    Scoff Well-Known Member

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    Personally I hope the Vikings were right. I quite fancy the idea of an afterlife consisting of days of drinking and partying followed by nights of violence. I'd be very crap at the violence part, but would certainly enjoy the rest of it :)
     
  11. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    I could handle a bit of that. Not the violence bit though. I'd hide in the bogs in the pub 'til they'd all left to do their pillaging, then carry on drinking in to the night. Hope it's not for eternity though. Eternity is just a little bit too long for me. I think I'd get tired.
     
  12. Loa

    Load Bearing Pillar Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't bother going, it's overrated

    Everyone is trying to get to the bar
    The name of the bar, the bar is called heaven
    The band in heaven, they play my favourite song
    Play it one more time, play it all night long
    Heaven, heaven is a place, a place where nothing, nothing ever happens
    Heaven, heaven is a place, a place where nothing, nothing ever happens
    There is a party, everyone is there
    Everyone will leave at exactly the same time
    When this party's over, it will start again
    It will not be any different, it will be exactly the same
    Heaven, heaven is a place, a place where nothing, nothing ever happens
    When this kiss is over it will start again
    It will not be any different, it will be exactly the same
    It's hard to imagine that nothing at all could be so exciting, could be this much fun
    Heaven, heaven is a place, a place where nothing, nothing ever happens
    Heaven, heaven is a place, a place where nothing, nothing ever happens
     
  13. Googs

    Googs Well-Known Member

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    Re: I wouldn't bother going, it's overrated

    Don't go in there, it's dead.
     
  14. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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    Some people say its really good

    they've got decent accommodation and swimming pools and loads of entertainment...................oh hang on that's Haven
     
  15. jedstar

    jedstar Well-Known Member

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    Re: Some people say its really good

    Does that mean you CAN take money with you when you die then? Chuff the kids I haven't had yet...
     
  16. Burgundy Red

    Burgundy Red Well-Known Member

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    I imagine that Heaven is a lot like Yeovil away, only without the roadworks on the A34.
     
  17. The Full Ponty

    The Full Ponty Well-Known Member

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    Possibly the most creative lyrics ever:

    In Heaven
    Everything is fine
    In Heaven
    Everything is fine

    In Heaven
    Everything is fine
    You got your good thing
    And I've got mine

    In Heaven
    Everything is fine
    In Heaven
    Everything is fine

    In Heaven
    Everything is fine
    You got a your good thing
    And you've got mine

    In Heaven
    Everything is fine

    In Heaven

    In Heaven
    Everything is fine
    You've got a your good thing
    And you've got mine

    In Heaven
    Every thing is fine
     
  18. RichK

    RichK Well-Known Member

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    Taupin?
     
  19. The Full Ponty

    The Full Ponty Well-Known Member

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    No, I'm fine thanks.

    Pixies. In Heaven (Lady In the Radiator Song).

    Has Barry Taylor resigned yet?
    Has he taken Maurice with him?
     

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