The customary "what do we need from the final games to stay up" thread

There are usually loads of these threads in the days leading up to the last game of the season. You know the type..."if Peterborough lose and we draw, or if Millwall lose and we win..." etc. Well, I don't see why we can't have one this season, because we've always managed to stay up in the past.

Okay, for us to stay up we need at least two of the following to happen:

Blackpool go into administration this week and don't win on Saturday.

Birmingham are found to have fielded 6 ineligible players in at least 14 separate matches.

The Football League decides to increase the Championship to 37 teams from next season.

War breaks out before Friday.

Leicester's saviour knocks down the ground that he owns ("debt, what debt?") and starts building a supermarket this week, paying off the players and sending them on their way.

The Football League deduct the points from Leeds for any game that Michael Brown played in, because he's a lovely person.

Barry Taylor 'has a word' with his contacts.

But, joking aside, if, by the extreme remotest possible chance, both Blackpool and Birmingham did go into administration this week and we complete an absolutely greater escape even than any of our past few greatest escapes, I reckon the other clubs in our division would probably get together and decide to relegate us anyway, just to get shut of us. I still think that a few of the clubs won't believe we've finally gone until the first game of the season and they are certain that we haven't turned up at any of the Championship grounds!

 

Think you missed the one about Russia getting peed off with the west for interferring in their invasion of Ukraine and nuking Manchester in a show of force. Unfortunately their use of GPS to guide the missiles was spoiled by the conversion from inches to metres and it takes out Bolton, Burnley, Blackburn and Wigan in a mini-apocalypse mishap. This would leave 3 spaces free in the division and we get to stay up.

 

My favourite post since I became a third tier supporter.

You trying to still stay up Reds.

 

I wonder if we do enough digging on the Internet, we might just be able to find enough illicit material which could result in one of our rivals to have a points deduction. All we'll need to do then is win on Saturday... that's the hard part

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Well, I did go and have a word with Sheffield United, to ask how they tried to avoid relegation that time, and they said that I needed to find the cause of our relegation and sue them, just as they did by suing West Ham, who caused their relegation. Anyway, I did some extensive research on the causes for our relegation and I'm pleased to say I've found the culprits. I'm suing our midfield.

 

Love this thread. Just shows what a great bunch of fans we have


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This is the best thread ever!