7 questions - please add some more

Who sets the clock going at the start of each half?

Who does the 50/50 draw?

Who chooses the music pre-match and at half time?

What happens to unsold programmes?

What happens to unsold pies?

Why are the hot and cold taps on the wrong side of the basins in the Gents?

Why didn't Look North feature Barnsley v Notts Co on their midday programme today?

 

1) the centre spot has a motion sensor which is triggered once the ball is kicked, hence activating the clock on the scoreboard. Each time the ball rolls over the centre spot after kick off, the latest scores are displayed on the screen.

2) the person who sells the most 50/50 tickets is invited to walk around a stand of their choosing with 15 minutes to go of the first half. They yell 'half time draw', and the first person to respond by saying 'parnd a gu' is asked to make the draw.

3) the pre and post match music is provided by the metrodome in the form of an ipod from their lost property department. This is part of BPL's sponsorship of the football club. The ipod in question has 11 songs on it.

4) there is on average, 219 unsold programmes at the end of every game. These are usually recycled to make blankets for the homeless. Last season, 312 blankets were produced from the 5000+ left over programmes last season.

5) there are no left over pies, demand greatly outweighs supply. Pukka are considering pulling out of their contract at the Keepfloat stadium in order to fulfil the demand at Oakwell.

6) the mystery of the taps in the toilets stems back to when the ground was redeveloped. The company used to provide the taps for the toilets sent out their colourblind technician to install the taps. Nobody realised at first until a child was accidentally scalded during an early season night game. To combat the problem, the club trialled switching water supplies so that the blue tap produced hot water and vice versa. However after several cases of burns, the club reverted the water supply to each tap and hoped nobody would notice again. The club actually has its own scald unit and complaints department. They handle 7 cases a season at present.

7) it's a well know fact that Doris, the cleaner of the look north studio, is a massive Barnsley fan. In the summer she partook in a fortnight's course in computer hacking. The only purpose of this is to hack the look north football highlights department so that she can erase footage if the reds lose. This afternoon was her first attempt and it seems the £2500 she has spent was a good investment.

 

All Ben see above

 

Who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?

 

What's a zigazig arrrrrrrr?

 

Scarily that was my exact response too.

 

The same person who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong I think.

 

You've just won the internet. Post of the decade.

 

Ugly skinny bird or attractive 18+ stone lump?

 

i like something to grab onto

 

What happens to the spare point after a draw?

 

They used to be divided up between the clubs in the Football League but the chairmen of the FL clubs, with guns to their heads, voted that they will in future go to newly relegated Premier League clubs to ensure they bounce straight back to the trough.

 

It is awarded to the referee. However as the referee isn't in any sort of League, he is given the cash alternative of £100. This is also where the term 'the referee has evened things up' comes from, as the referee often gives the same decision (eg a penalty) to both teams, as he wants the game to end a draw in order to get the monetary bonus from the result.

 

That sounds far more plausible than my explanation.

 

Where is the exact location of the trap door in the Oakwell playing surface that Jacon Mellis used to disappear down after 20 minutes?

 

It is a popular misconception that there is a trapped door on the pitch. It is in fact a hall of mirrors which is located 5 yards left of the centre circle towards the east stand. Jacob Mellis was often fooled by the hall of mirrors and often was stuck in there between 3.20pm and 6.15pm every other Saturday. This Hall of mirrors often claimed many victims such as Martin Woods and rumor has it, Andy Johnson has never been seen since entering the hall of mirrors over 7 years ago. The hall was destroyed by Emmanuel Frimpong who's misplaced tackle shattered the walls at the back end of last season. Despite this, Andy Johnson still hasn't been located.

 

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