When tha dies..

You mean your death might be suspicious? Is that why they do them?

 

You missed out 'folk will cry a lot'.

 

A load of pissing about for my wife (if she's still alive) death certificates, funeral arrangements, sorting all the bills and bank accounts and credit cards and that which are in my name, a poorly attended service (no god stuff), Just Like Honey by JAMC, burnt. Hopefully our lass can crack on and isn't too upset.

 

Perfection would be if the halls of Valhalla were right next to Elysium.

 

Or some bloke in south africa claiming to be the solicitor of your long lost uncle fred .. ..you know that guy who is the engineer, who was traveling in a car, who along with his whole family got killed in a car crash and left no traceable heirs,but because you share the same name he can put you down as sole beneficiary if you send him your bank details and he will split his fortune with you.....

 

Tha dead. End of.

 

If you've gone through this life, not eating pig, had a bit of the **** chopped off, and made thi wife walk five yard at back on thi, then tha gets to do it all again but better

 

I've always wondered, if we get an afterlife do animals? What about the clever ones - chimps and dolphins? If they get one, do dogs? Beetles? Do amoebas go to heaven? What about bacteria and viruses? Do they go somewhere where people drink mucky water, eat raw chicken, have unprotected sex and share needles for eternity?

If not then why? At what point in evolution does something suddenly gain access to an afterlife?

 

I eat butchered pig. My bellend still has optional coverage. And I walk behind r lass, in a rather foul mood if we're shopping. Looks like I'm ******.

 

I don't think evolution and afterlife are compatible. If you want an afterlife I think you've got to go with Adam and Eve or Creationism or whatever the thinking is now.

 

I'm over in Barnsley next Thursday, Ardsley crem. Nan's gone. 82 bless her. Death's ****. I just want to go before r lass does. Might sound selfish of me, but there you go. The fact she's 16 years my senior int in my favour though, although the amount of smoke/drugs/drink I've put through my system ought to close that gap a bit. Fingers crossed.

 

So sorry for your loss, Andy. Sincere condolences, old mate.

 

We either become burnt to a crisp or worm food.

 

Best thing for her, pal. She wasn't in a good way at the end. Good innings though. Cheers, mate.

 

Absolute nothing, we are merely an organism that by some fluke of evolution has developed the intelligence required to have this discussion, like all living things we die and eventually decompose into being part of the earth again.

I think we can all be 99.999999999999999999999999999% sure that there is no "Level 2".

 

Sorry to hear about your Nan, Andy.

 

Bless you, pal.

 

I'll keep my options open.


Imagine being turned away because out of thousands of years human history where there has been absolute certainty of a creator and and afterlife - for the last 50 years or so there's been a fashion that every living soul throughout eternity before this last couple of generations was wrong.

If I'm wrong - what do I loose - nothing. What does it cost me to believe - nothing.

If you're wrong - even if the chance is as small as you indicate.... you're going to have some explaining to do to get past St. Peter.

Looking at this from a risk point of view - I put a few coppers in the collection tray every now and again so as on the off chance like I might get in the priority lane.

 

I look at it the other way. On the very slight chance there is an afterlife, I want to make damn sure I don't get in to it. I cannot think of anything worse than living for eternity. I can lose the will to live if I've got half an hour to kill before my bus. Living forever and ever and ever and ever and ever? No thank you.

 

To quote Super Furry Animals:

"I believe in death after life
Yes, in death after life
Switch off the light
Bye bye"