Dear groundsmen

Water the pitch before a game one more bloody time and I'll shove that sprinkler up your arse.

 

On seeing it raining this morning my first thought was that we`d still hev sprinklers on.

 

It's been raining for hours and we stick the sprinklers on.

 

Imagine we had that rain that Bradford had on the day of the postponed game.


We would have still had sprinklers on..

 

It's not the grounds mans choice to put them on, it is down to LJ.

 

Of course it is so we can see the slick passing of the opposition.

 

Correct, it's the managers decision, nowt to do with the groundsmen.

 

In order to conjure a semblance of something to do to break the abject boredom of the first half we resorted to debating which was the greater malarkey; the pitch watering or the refusal to leave anybody up when we are defending corners and the like. Not only does this invite the opposition to put more men in your box, it invariably guarantees that if we (a) clear the first ball, it comes straight back; or (b) win the first or second ball, there is nobody for the man in possession to pass to upfield and we either get caught in possession or slow everything right down until we can pass it safely along the back four, losing any chance of a counter-attack. I wouldn't mind but it's not like one of the three dwarves of Scowen, Crowley and Isgrove would be missed - they'd need to stand on top of each other to get anywhere near a defensive header.

For second half pastime, I read a bit of LJ's twaddle powerpoint and did a word-search. In all that mountain of clap-trap the word 'goal' appears only one time and, even then, not in the footballing sense of the word.

 

Don't forget wasting power with the floodlights on full before kick off, whilst Oakwell was basking in bright sunshine until into the second half.

 

Don't they have to be on a set amount of time to get em to full brightness, weather forecast was for rain so we could expect it to become overcast at some point in the game.

 

Ref requests the lights and they take a while to warm up.

 

I wouldn't mind them putting the lights on if they showed the same amount of concern about spectators safety in the carpark where I haven't seen a light on for years

 

That's true. Or why these days the no right turn sign that was up by the burger van that's not been open all season has been removed so now you have to watch for cars wanting to go both ways instead of just one. To be fair even with the sign up the area wasn't manned so plenty ignored it anyway.