The Root of all evil

Carpet Gripper....just that

 

especially on your knees with Whitey kneeling behind you!

 

The selfish git is all take take take, he doesn't like to give

 

I beg to differ.................Integration in Pure Mathematics has more hatred than 198 differing religions

 

Carpet gripper and bits of lego have started many a war boss.

 

Can I add three pin plugs to the list.

 

You can indeed. How could I forget the little bleeders.

 

Pain rating: Very high.

 

Very good point Mario...or 3 to be precise

 

Found a cure for Lego bricks ponty, check these bad boys out

 

When you've got the carpet grippers up and safely in the bin, you're then confronted with the horrible metal staples that were used to tack down the underlay. Most of these will have half removed themselves as you ripped the underlay up, leaving one end still in the floor and the other end sticking up ready to impale itself in your fingers.

The amazing thing about these staples is that they automatically take on the exact colour of whatever flooring material they are stuck into. This means that the only way to locate them is to wipe your hands all over the floor. The sharp pain you feel as the metal strikes deep into your flesh will let you know that you've found another one.

One you've finally got them out of the way, make sure you mop up the blood, as it makes a really horrible mess of light grey tile grout.

 

You mean that famous unseen enemy what is known as the Chameleon staple?

 

That's the one. The pain when one goes into your finger is like giving birth to triplets with no anesthetic, whilst having your cruciate ligaments severed with a rusty knife and your nipples shaved off with a cheese grater.

 

Im sorry gentlemen, you are all just big wusses!!

the pain of all those items pales into insignificance when treading on an unsuspecting half chewed hide dog bone that is the same colour as my carpet, that my f-ing dog decides that although she likes them and eats them very quickly, she occasionally leaves a sharp gnarled piece in the living room which for some reason she decides that she doesn't want to eat it, rather leave for me to find first thing in a morning when I'm half asleep and in bare feet!!!

 

Well surely getting a splinter down your finger nail as got to make it onto the top 10 list?

 

Haha. I saw them on FB and my initial thought was 'they're just slippers aren't they?'. So are they or are they made of some mystical material like passports?

 

What about treading on the said dog bone while holding a rotating chainsaw in 1 hand and a pan of boiling chip fat in the other?

 

Depends...are you practicing sword swallowing at the same time?

 

My next door neighbour decided to protect his perimeter by nailing them to the top of his wooden fence one length of which separates our properties...unfortunately the k**bh**d didn't bother telling me...ripped me hands to shreds.

 

Just to add a true story to this, I once peed on an electric fence.