Argh seriously, seriously considering leaving teaching

Re: And there was me thinking this thread was full of sensible posts

Well, that's it, I've finally cracked and ruined everything.

After spending all last night (including the majority of the night) and from 5am this morning panicking about going into work today, to the point where I couldn't plan any lessons due to the fear, I phoned in and stayed off work. I believed at the time that if I had today off I could plan tomorrow's lessons and be ok - I now realise that is not going to happen.

Stupidly, as I had read that 93% of people lie about being off when it is a mental health issue I decided to tell the truth. Of course, I now have that on my record forever along with this absence (that I have no idea how long will last) so any chance of getting a new job anywhere is now zero. I was agonizing about phoning but I just couldn't go in to be potentially observed and told I was **** (even though really I know I'm not) and then sit through a meeting about displays ready for our next 'drop in' in two weeks time.*

I now feel really stuck and I don't know what to do. After phoning in and stupidly giving 'stress and anxiety' as the reason, I had a panic attack such as I have never known before. I started having racking sobs, struggled to breath, lashed out and when my husband started to try and calm me I bolted for the door, half dressed, and was turning the key before he physically restrained me to stop me from running to god knows where. I sunk to the floor shaking uncontrollably whilst he held me for 10 minutes until I calmed down. I couldn't have really given a different reason though as the night before last I cried on a member of senior management and told her I was unlikely to come in the next day (although somehow I did, intending to talk to the Head who was absent) and yesterday I cried on a different member of SLT and said that I was unlikely to come in. Both just said 'Oh JamDrop' but didn't offer any help.



*Especially as TAs were paid to come in on our INSET day earlier this month when we were told to give them jobs to do, and I quote: 'such as displays or tidying up'. Well, I'm a tidy person so I got them on displays. However, during the INSET day, we were told about certain new displays that were mandatory, so I was sat there knowing that my TAs were at that moment making displays that couldn't go up as I needed space for these new ones. I then had to go and tell them at the end the day to take it back down as we needed something different. I then designed a new spellings display that the TAs diligently put up. We all then got an email last week with the new handwriting policy stating that everything, including displays, have to be made using this newly purchased font. So, cue my TAs replacing everything with the new font only to be told that we are having a meeting tonight (that I have now missed and so will probably fail my observation at) about displays ready for an observation in two weeks.

 

Re: And there was me thinking this thread was full of sensible posts

Oh ****, the house phone just rang whilst I was typing that and I didn't dare answer it as I was sure it would be school (only my mam knows the number and she wouldn't phone whilst I was at work). I also had a missed call on my mobile that I hadn't seen. What do I do? I can't bring myself to phone back and have I made everything 10x worse by not answering?

Oh, and something about Up The Reds. :'(

 

Re: And there was me thinking this thread was full of sensible posts

Oh dear you do have it bad, I apologise for my earlier flippancy.

Sounds like you should see your GP and see what help you can get.

I don't think you've ruined your chances of another job though sometimes teachers are off for 6 months or so and stay employed.

 

Re: And there was me thinking this thread was full of sensible posts

Duplicate post.

 

Re: And there was me thinking this thread was full of sensible posts

I would try to forget about school for the moment as it's only stressing you out.

 

Re: And there was me thinking this thread was full of sensible posts

Jamdrop, you cannot be discriminated against because you are suffering from stress and anxiety.

 

Re: And there was me thinking this thread was full of sensible posts

Best bit of advice I ever got was from a religious guy 'Face your giants' he said, referring to David and Goliath I believe . What's the worst they can do ? he said !. Good luck.

 

Re: And there was me thinking this thread was full of sensible posts

JD, JD, JD.... calm down sweetie pie.
You know you are now really on the edge of a very big decision., I do not envy you at all. However I have seen my wife react in similar fashion after the total and utter ******** she has had to put up with,all in the name of a job.
She has come home so rattled by the sheer pointlessness of what is expected of her, and others I imagine, that she has, in the past, gone to the doctor and been given medical leave for as long as she needs due to stress and pressure. A few years ago she was off school for months.
I do wonder quite often what the teachers in my schooldays had to put up with, we are talking the late 60s and early 70s. Did they have all this excessive **** to endure or is it a much more recent thing?
My advice would be, go see your doctor if it is stressing you out so much and if he tells you that in order to maintain your sanity and your health you should take time off work, then do it. The school cannot sack you for ill health, anything along those lines would not be allowed and they could be taken severely to task for trying.
Do not let your job rule... and ruin... your life. As I have said before you only have one shot at it. Is all this distress worthwhile? I don't think so.
And please, don't wake up tomorrow thinking that today might just get better. It won't. It might just get postponed a bit but it will come back to get you later.

 

JamDrop you have PM

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Re: JamDrop you have PM

Just an update: I handed my resignation letter in on Friday so it's official. I'm not sure what direction I am going to go in yet but I already feel like a weight has been lifted.

Thank you to all the people who PM'd me when I first posted this thread last month. I'm sorry I didn't reply but I read them all and really appreciated them - they helped me get through a very tough time!

 

Re: JamDrop you have PM

Good luck with your next move, JamDrop. Your health is worth more than job.
Just to confirm, you getting a season ticket for a Christmas present is DEFINITELY the reason for our upturn in fortunes.

 

Re: JamDrop you have PM

JD.... you have done the right thing, and the best thing for your health !! Good luck with everything from now on.
My wife, a maths teacher in a secondary school, also passes on her best wishes, saying YOU HAVE DEFINITELY DONE THE RIGHT THING.
She also knows of teachers in her school and own department who have done exactly the same, and for the same reasons as you. She too would do it but sadly our financial situation dictates that she stay on for a few more years. But she is desperate to knock her week down to three days. However she is in her fifties and needs to start to wind her life back, something she cannot do at present.
Anyway, all the best.

 

Have you thought about teaching overseas?

 

Re: JamDrop you have PM

Sincere best wishes and good luck for your future, please let us know on here (if it's not too private) what you do and how you get on.

Once again, best of luck to you.

 

Re: JamDrop you have PM

Thanks Badger and all the best to your wife.

 

I considered it briefly but my husband definitely doesn't want to relocate (and I can't say I'm that disappointed).

 

Good luck in your future life's journey

 

Re: SERIOUS PIECE OF ADVICE:

Assuming you leave at the end of term/year and get something lined up before you would have started back make sure you do the following:

1 Ensure that you do not have to go to work the first day of the new term

2 Set your alarm for the time you used to when you worked as a teacher

3 When said alarm goes off. reach over, turn it off, turn over and have a lie-in and try not to smirk whilst thinking about the poor unfortunates who have to start a new term with all the cr*p that goes with it ;-)

MY wife wanted to do that as she regarded it as CLOSURE!!

Unfortunately, I managed to (sort-of) mess that up for my wife when she took early retirement as I cocked up up on the travel dates and we had to get up at stupid o' clock on the day she would have started back for the January start of term. This was because we were setting off for the channel tunnel and a two day drive to Italy where we were restoring our house. It sort of softened the blow as it was the first time we were not in a rush to get there and cram as much work in as we could before we had to some back. We stayed for several weeks so I think she forgave me especially as she got some 'jealousy motivated' joke hate mail from ex-colleagues which put her into semi-permanent 'smug mode'.

Whatever you decide, enjoy life!

 

Re: SERIOUS PIECE OF ADVICE:

You have PM