I knew we were poor when I was a lad because..(non footy).

Knew we were poor when my mother sent us to butchers for an ox tail and be sure to ask him if he'll leave head on.

Knew we were poor when we could only afford a sheep's eye to see us through the week..

 

we used to breathe on the kitchen window so people we'd got a joint on a sunday. I had to save up to be skint

 

an updated version.

 

Graham Chapman as YN.

 

More Southern jessies tekin pish

 

Mi fatha used to turn the leccy off and pretend there was a power cut

 

That's wot back pockets were for ....

 

You knew you were poor when ............

you'd say mam can i have a dip of mi dads egg and she would say yes but don't bust the yolk...

your mam bought you a new cap and told you to stand near the window on whit Sunday so folk would think you had a full set of new clothes

your mam gave you a slice of bread and told you to wipe it down the trout hung on the back door so every body thought you had fish paste on your sandwich

the first up got the shoes and the rest of you blacked yer feet and laced yer toes together

9 of you slept in the same bed and one was a persistent bed wetter the rainbow over the bed was black and white

your mother sent you next door with a button to ask the neighbour if she could sew a shirt on to it

when the rent man would push a note under the door and yer dad would get on all fours and blow it back out to him then refuse to pay the rent because he said the house was draughty
( then the following week the rent man would call to inspect the house , walk in and go wow did you see that , and dad would say ...see what , the rent man would reply ...a flying fish...and dad would say youre here about the draughts, we can speak about the dampness later )

bath week was a case of dragging the old tin bath in ..fill it with water, then you would all bathe in the same water, you yer bothers and sisters yer mam, yer dad, the dog, oh and yer granddad ...all in that order
( as you got older yer mam would place two building bricks under one end so you could go and sit in the deep end

Happy days

you young uns dont know what you are missing ...smallpox diphtheria scabies..rickets lol

 

You had a trout ?

 

Mi dad pinched it arter next doers bin
it wer a fotnit old when we gorrit
...wiwier lucky
..hida mistit, if it ent eh binfur dustbin men, bin on strike previous week

 

Next door had a trout !
They must a bin posh .

 

When it rained we had to put plastic bags on our feet to keep our socks dry for the one pair if shoes we possessed had holes in their soles.

 

And Palin was from Sheffield for gods sake, pity the poor lad.

 

Held up with a Snake belt.!

 

Hot plate from the Yorkist fire range wrapped in newspaper in your bed before they tucked you up for the night.

 

My Sister once asked if she could have an ice cream. Money was very tight. Quick as a flash Dad said
" no you can't for asking". I said " but I didn't ask for one Dad". His reply " well you couldn't have wanted one."
Went away thinking " what happened there."?

 

We played tiggy with hatchets.! Some people near us used to put their muck in the house and
lived in the dustbin.! If you paid the rent three weeks running, coppers came round to find
out where you'd got the money from.!

 

Mi Dad bless him, never let on where the Immersion heater switch was.

 

That's after we got a bathroom n hot water,( council grant) when I was about 10 yrs owd.

 

We used to have a oven and hotplate built into open coalfire ,
Mother used to take oven plates out which were solid iron plates used as shelves, wrap in old towels (all our towels were old tbh ) and put in the bed to warm it up before we got in.