When was the last time

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Terry Nutkins, Sep 2, 2017.

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  1. Terry Nutkins

    Terry Nutkins Well-Known Member

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    You had a thrash?

    Mine was on Wednesday. The wifes been away since Monday with work and got back tonight. So, I was really strategic in my placement of 'the attempt'.

    I call it the attempt because I played R n' B on the stereo and used the lamp on the bedside table instead of the big light. You know, wnaking ambience. Anyway I digress, I think I've done well, but in some eyes I've not.

    Who's wrong Kylites?
     
    Terry Nutkins, Sep 2, 2017
    #1
  2. Jimmy viz

    Jimmy viz Well-Known Member

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    T'other day. Danger **** in the front room when the missis and kids had gone to Tescos.
     
    Jimmy viz, Sep 2, 2017
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  3. troff

    troff Well-Known Member

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    Stay classy kids.

    And to answer the question... a man of my calibre would never do such an act of self degradation.

    Much... apart from this morning...

    And a few times a week. Tops.

    Ok all the time.

    I'm married, it's not like I get owt else!!!
     
    troff, Sep 2, 2017
    #3
  4. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    Those of you on Facebook, search for "christian mothers against masterbation" (sic). You'll laugh yourselves silly.
     
    Stahlrost, Sep 2, 2017
    #4
  5. YTB

    YTBFC Guest

    Aaaah, this reminds me of the old BBS. In better times.

    But no, you won't catch me cleaning my rifle. I'm very discreet.
     
    YTBFC, Sep 2, 2017
    #5
  6. Ext

    Extremely Northern Well-Known Member

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    Dunno, what time is it now ?
     
    Extremely Northern, Sep 2, 2017
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  7. Sopwith Camel

    Sopwith Camel Well-Known Member

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    15 years of diabetes.. one of the side affects is that Percy points far more to the floor, than to mi chin these days.... sadly
     
    Sopwith Camel, Sep 2, 2017
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  8. Gordon Owen

    Gordon Owen Well-Known Member

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    Once got caught by the missus, it must have been her new slippers from Next, l never heard her come up the stairs. Claimed l had eczema on my knackers and I was scratching it, genuinely got away with it. She didn't even see the Milf and Teen lesbian scene on the phone..
     
    Gordon Owen, Sep 2, 2017
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    Journo Tyke, Tyketical Masterstroke, gazredtyke and 3 others like this.
  9. Gordon Owen

    Gordon Owen Well-Known Member

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    Head stand? There's always a way fella. :)
     
    Gordon Owen, Sep 2, 2017
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    Sopwith Camel, Chef Tyke and shed131 like this.
  10. Loa

    Load Bearing Pillar Well-Known Member

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    I've just had a look at this - comedy gold.
     
    Load Bearing Pillar, Sep 2, 2017
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  11. RedKestrel

    RedKestrel Well-Known Member

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    Oh no. How gay
     
    RedKestrel, Sep 2, 2017
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  12. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

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    Come on girls, join in the conversation.... don't be shy. It's not all about men and boys on here.
    Be as graphic as you like.
     
    Mr Badger, Sep 2, 2017
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  13. YTB

    YTBFC Guest

    Was with a bird nearly ten years back now, she came downstairs before me this one time, put TV on and like a fool I'd forgot to change channels over the night before.

    "Why is the adult channel on?"

    I gave some excuse about dog maybe standing on the remote. We split up soon after, which came as a shock.
     
    YTBFC, Sep 2, 2017
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  14. Jul

    Julian Broddle's Perm Well-Known Member

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    I once actually phoned into Babestation and got through to the on screen bird. Tidy too.
    Anyhow, I heard my Mrs on the move upstairs, just as the on screen bird suggested she'd do anything I asked. So I told her, "hide behind that sofa, and quick", so she clambered, seductively over it as she whispered, "why?".
    I said "Just hurry will you, the wife's coming downstairs and I've lost the remote control!!"
    Convinced my Mrs that it was QVC shopping channel and I quite liked the pink fluffy setee on show.
     
    Julian Broddle's Perm, Sep 2, 2017
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  15. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    I've just discovered another page with the correct spelling "Christian Mothers Against Masturbation". Two snippets: -
    1) An advert for "HandzOff" cream
    2) "Are you addicted to masturbation? Reach out to me and we can beat it together" - Jesus
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2017
    Stahlrost, Sep 2, 2017
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  16. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    I've got a young (23) female friend who, shall we say, is somewhat lacking in experience. On several occasions I've tried, unsuccessfully, to explain the concept of a "safety w**k". I'll stick at it until the penny drops.
     
    Stahlrost, Sep 2, 2017
    #16
  17. Sup

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

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    I like the posts about women who are 'raping their sin cave' and should stop 'ringing the devil's doorbell'
     
    SuperTyke, Sep 2, 2017
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  18. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    I thought you'd like those.......
     
    Stahlrost, Sep 2, 2017
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  19. Sup

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

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    Ringing the devil's doorbell is my new favourite phrase.
     
    SuperTyke, Sep 2, 2017
    #19
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  20. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    Mine is "Leave that bone alone"
     
    Stahlrost, Sep 2, 2017
    #20
    SuperTyke likes this.
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