Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. Old Goat

    Old Goat Well-Known Member

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    Health & Safety for Cyclists by Isabel Necessary
     
    Old Goat, Jul 1, 2018
    #381
  2. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    An old friend of mine an explorer. Spent several years looking for a long lost tribe called fakawi. He'd almost given up, but walking through the jungle in the long grass one day, up jumped a pigmy in the distance shouting "wier the fakawi".
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2018
    Hooky feller, Jul 1, 2018
    #382
  3. thetykester

    thetykester Well-Known Member

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    A ship carrying a consignment of yo yo's, hit an iceberg & sank.........247 times.
     
    thetykester, Jul 1, 2018
    #383
  4. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a woman who has got two fannies?

    . Mrs. Neville
     
    arabian_ian, Jul 1, 2018
    #384
    shenk1 and Hooky feller like this.
  5. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

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    That was the clean version wasn't it ;)

    One for you Scots :p ......

    My mates called me a tight arse, so I decided to buy them a beer to prove I'm not...

    Turns out they wanted one each!
     
    shenk1, Jul 1, 2018
    #385
  6. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    So was it 1drink and 3 straws
     
    arabian_ian, Jul 1, 2018
    #386
  7. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

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    3 STRAWS!!!!!! I'm not made of money !!! :p
     
    shenk1, Jul 1, 2018
    #387
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  8. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    48E3EBF9-AFE6-4ECF-BD9E-670F5760AC43.jpeg
     
    Connor, Jul 1, 2018
    #388
  9. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    Last time I went to Blackpool I went on a Donkey.

    Took me 2 weeks to get there.
     
    arabian_ian, Jul 3, 2018
    #389
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  10. Sup

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

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    I got pulled over by a female police officer. When i rolled down my window to ask what was wrong, she said...

    "NOTHING!"
     
    SuperTyke, Jul 4, 2018
    #390
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  11. Durkar Red

    Durkar Red Well-Known Member

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    Sweden are playing the IKEA formation against us , flat pack four
     
    Durkar Red, Jul 6, 2018
    #391
  12. JamDrop

    JamDrop Well-Known Member

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    wc.jpg
     
    JamDrop, Jul 9, 2018
    #392
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  13. Met

    Metatarsal Well-Known Member

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    Bamber Gascoigne, the former host of University Challenge, has had to close the Michelin star Restaurant he's been running since retiring from TV. Bit of a shame, but a tenner for a starter, who's going to pay that?
     
    Metatarsal, Jul 12, 2018
    #393
  14. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    I was in a very busy Asda, and I said to this young lady,
    'I can't find my girlfriend, can I talk to you for a few minutes?'
    She said, 'Sure you can, but how will that help?'
    I said, 'I'll bet you anything she'll appear out of ******* nowhere'
     
    Connor, Jul 15, 2018
    #394
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  15. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

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    We were in a restaurant the other day when the waitress came over and asked if we were ready to order.

    I said "My wife's in the toilet"

    She replied "Do you know what she's having?"

    I said " Well she's been gone 10 minutes so probably a **** "
     
    shenk1, Jul 15, 2018
    #395
    Simon De Montforte, Bleedng Red, retired red and 2 others like this.
  16. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    Barnsley woman in hairdressers conversation gets round to holidays
    First woman pipes up we’re gonna Blackpool Barnsley feast week in a boarding house and I can’t wait.
    Second woman a posh lady piped up were going on a world cruise it the second one this year and we’re on the verge of booking our third.
    Chuffing he’ll says Barnsley lass how you managed that.
    Posh woman replies well tbh my husband works for Cunard
    Barnsley lass says well my husband work fookin hard but we can’t afford three cruises
     
    Marlon, Jul 16, 2018
    #396
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  17. tosh

    tosh Well-Known Member

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    Should have more tickets on that now seeing as they landed at Birmingham
     
    tosh, Jul 17, 2018
    #397
  18. She

    Sheriff Well-Known Member

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    David Beckham's second son arrived for football training, and asked the coach "What number shirt am I?"

    The coach said: "Wear four out there Romeo."
     
    Sheriff, Jul 17, 2018
    #398
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  19. Con

    Connor Well-Known Member

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    8C535245-08EC-463A-B126-F86F6C37E033.jpeg
     
    Connor, Jul 20, 2018
    #399
  20. HarpStaysSharp

    HarpStaysSharp Active Member

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    You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested.

    She'll ask: "What's my favourite flower?"

    And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn't listening ... Self-raising?"
     
    HarpStaysSharp, Jul 22, 2018
    #400
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