Need some advice

My wife's friend works at a school as a lunch time supervisor (dinner lady)

She has been round this afternoon really upset. The story is of a little girl (this is a infant/junior school) who used to be on school dinners, she is rather thin and would eat two school dinners everyday, apparently licking the spoon and plate. As she seemed so hungry all the time the staff would happily let her have 2 and look the other way (as the should only have one)
Now it seems her mother has moved her over to packed lunch and she is only bringing in a single sandwich. The friend of my wife said today she was just sat all through the lunch hour crying to herself, saying she wants school lunch. Now it seems clear she is not getting enough food, i asked if teachers were aware and she said they were but she doesn't know if this has been taken any further. Now this is all i know, no idea if the parents/parent are struggling or not. My wife's friend was very upset about the whole thing and doesn't know what to do. Is it possible to report such things in a anonymous way and who would it be to? She doesn't want to cause trouble but she feels awful about seeing the girl so upset.

 

Report it to the head and if they don't do anything get in touch with social services...

If the child is being badly treated then someone needs to intervene and get her and possibly her parents some help.

 

Something definitely needs bringing to the attention of the head of school.

Don't keep quiet on this.

 

i plan on doing something it did rather upset me too hearing about it. I just wanted to advice on the best approach to take, so i can try and get my wife's friend to take it further herself.

 

Assuming she is in year 1 or 2 she should be able to get free school dinners anyway so the school could supply even if the parents give her a packed lunch. If she is older the parents can still apply for free school dinners if they meet the criteria. My daughter is in F2 reception and gets free school meals and I see loads of parents choosing a ham or cheese sandwich over a hot meal. Some even bring a packed lunch even though the meals are free!

 

Do they not get free meals ie with a token at schools any more.??
Awful if so

 

Don't you or your wife report it, get the dinner lady to, peversely you could get the dinner lady in trouble due to data protection.

But make sure she does, kids going hungry at school is something that shouldn't be happening.

 

There are people far more qualified than me to answer this question but I'd say that it's worth remembering there is a very good chance that the parent or parents are simply struggling to pay for enough food. Switching her over from a (presumably) paid meal to a far cheaper sandwich does suggest this. By simply reporting the parents it automatically blames them when they may be the most loving parents who already feel terrible that their daughter isn't getting enough food. On the other hand of course they may be horrible people who don't deserve kids.

Id be telling your friend to speak to the head and ask for a chat about the girl. The head and the girls teacher will know the parents even if only briefly so they will be able to make a decision whether they think the parents are struggling or not which will make a big difference in how they proceed

 

Your wife's friend has a duty of care to report this to the 'named person' (technical term) in their school as it is a safeguarding issue under the term of 'neglect'. Even if she is sure it has already been reported she should do so anyway. There should be a form in school she can ask for which she should have seen previously through the annual safeguarding training. The procedure will certainly be up on the staff room wall and should be prominently displayed in every classroom. She may very well not hear anything back after reporting it as lots of things go on behind the scenes that people may not be aware of. She can also report it directly to the local authority and the number should be displayed on the procedure flowchart in the staffroom. If you let me know the local authority I may be able to find the direct number for you. Anyone is allowed to report on that number.

 

This was as I mentioned something I considered. The friend said it's why she doesn't know what to do as if the parent's are struggling she doesn't want to make things worse she just wants to help

 

It's worth bearing in mind that reporting it means creating a record that a child needs help. Anyone looking at that report will proceed in terms of helping the child not blaming the parent. It's not like reporting a crime.

 

Thanks I am at work currently I will follow this all up with the wife tomorrow and get her to speak to her friend again.

 

This.

The only viable way of helping is to report it.

 

She needs to report it. Quite simply, it's not her decision to make, she legally has a duty of care to report all safeguarding concerns. There is no way that her reporting it to the 'named person' in school can make it worse, they've had a hell of a lot of training and will know how to proceed. They're not going to go out shouting at the parents or phoning the police, they will have a delicate conversation with the child and then the parents. The parent could very well be relieved that their child is going to be provided for but it is extremely unlikely they will ever get it trouble.

 

I'd definitely take Jamdrop's advice. Just because she reports to safeguarding lead doesnt mean the parents are going to get in trouble or anything like that. It sounds like the child is attending school and coming with some food, just not a lot unfortunately. Social services are there to support and something may be needed to be put in place to ensure she is receiving adequate food.

That discussion may just turn out to be the best thing that's happened to that family if they are struggling.

 

Thanks JamDrop, I didn't realise schools had a named person for things like this.

 

Yep. It's a very common occurence unfortunately. I've had children crying all day because they have had nothing to eat at home. There's ways the school can help the parents to manage it discreetly. They will point them towards (and can help refer them for) external services and within school they may be able to let the child go to the breakfast club in the morning or our school used to have a nuture group where they sat together and had toast and fruit at break. The parent may have been struggling along unaware of the help they can receive or just too embarrassed to ask for it. It is extremely rare that a parent would purposefully be starving a child and so I reckon the chances of them getting into trouble for this when they are sending her with food is slim to none so I wouldn't be worrying about that.

 

Yeah, each school will have quite a few of them. Most schools have an electronic system called CPOMS to report any safeguarding issues and everything gets saved onto a log. We have been trained to report anything at all as our job isn't to decide on actions, just to pass the information on. It is then one of the named person's job to review it and decide on an action (if any is needed). We've been told it's like pieces of a jigsaw and something you think may be unimportant may link other things together. If it's not important it doesn't matter, it only took a few mins for someone to read and it may link to something else later. Nothing is ever deleted.

 

What data has the friend misappropriated?

 

Didn't say she had?