Embarrassing Moments

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Stahlrost, Dec 30, 2018.

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  1. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    I'm on holiday in Austria. I've just got into a lift to go down from floor 3 to the ground floor. When I got into the empty lift, it was immediately apparent that someone with severe digestive tract turbulence had previously farted in it. I held my breath, but the lift stopped on floor 1 and a couple got in, complete with daughter aged about 8. The said daughter immediately pinched her nose shut, and the parents fixed me with laser like stares. This same family sit next to us at breakfast. Any suggestions?
     
    Stahlrost, Dec 30, 2018
    #1
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  2. Tru

    TrueRed92 Well-Known Member

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    Just smile and wave
     
    TrueRed92, Dec 30, 2018
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  3. OxR

    OxRed Well-Known Member

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    Your card has been marked (soiled?). Make alternative breakfast arrangements and avoid any future contact with the family.
     
    OxRed, Dec 30, 2018
    #3
  4. Dragon Tyke

    Dragon Tyke Well-Known Member

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    you should just have said.... " I know...the bloke who got out never even said sorry".
     
    Dragon Tyke, Dec 30, 2018
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  5. SuperTyke

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

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    Go out, buy a dog, take dog to breakfast, act like you've always had the dog, belatedly blame dog.

    Sorted
     
    SuperTyke, Dec 30, 2018
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  6. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    That wouldn't work. Dog farts just don't smell the same.
     
    Stahlrost, Dec 30, 2018
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  7. DSLRed

    DSLRed Well-Known Member

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    Aah, the old fart in the lift gag. Somebody's got you good and proper.
     
    DSLRed, Dec 30, 2018
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  8. man

    mansfield_red Well-Known Member

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    Drop a nasty silent one at breakfast then tut and stare at them
     
    mansfield_red, Dec 30, 2018
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  9. Dalestykes

    Dalestykes Well-Known Member

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    Apologise. Tell them you went to Willowgarth School and know no better. They will understand.
     
    Dalestykes, Dec 30, 2018
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  10. SuperTyke

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

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    Are you sure? Toby tyke dropped one yesterday and it smelled like a mans fart
     
    SuperTyke, Dec 30, 2018
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  11. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    The moment needed a quick fix there and then it’s too late and now you’ll notice your ears are burning.
    Your a disgusting no good English hooligan in their eyes with no thought for any but yourself.
    Bet they’re telling the person who actually farted what they endured and no doubt they’ll be rubbing it in good and proper.
    You might as well pile on the beans on your breakfast plate and when they see they’ll probably try to avoid you rest of day saving embarrassment every time they look at you.
    Oh and wear a Sheff Weds scarf don’t want em thinking we’re all like you in tarn
     
    Marlon, Dec 30, 2018
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  12. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    I very much doubt the family will choose the table next to you tomorrow.
     
    arabian_ian, Dec 30, 2018
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  13. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    That's an interesting point. Ladies' are very different, in my experience.
     
    Stahlrost, Dec 30, 2018
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  14. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    Sadly, it's pre planned. To make it worse, we've all got name tags on our tables.
     
    Stahlrost, Dec 30, 2018
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  15. DSLRed

    DSLRed Well-Known Member

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    Have a heart, the poor bloke is embarrassed enough! :(
     
    DSLRed, Dec 30, 2018
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  16. Gally

    Gally Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    Wait till they go out for a late night walk and find you stark bollock naked on the landing wrapped in a net curtain :)
     
    Gally, Dec 30, 2018
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  17. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    Obviously that could never happen...........
     
    Stahlrost, Dec 30, 2018
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  18. LiverpoolRed

    LiverpoolRed Well-Known Member

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    Just smashed a full bottle of wine in a packed Tesco :)
     
    LiverpoolRed, Dec 30, 2018
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  19. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

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    A nice loud whoopie cushion type noise as you sit down at breakfast followed by a cheery thumbs up in their direction....they will either laugh or move....result ;)
     
    shenk1, Dec 30, 2018
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  20. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Went darn to that there London to watch tarn. (Weekender) brother in law let one go on the overground train after a night on the town. Completely emptied the carriage he was in. French family pissing the sens laughing when we departed to their carriage.(smell drifted to that carriage) “ Embarrassed.” Was he eck. Saw him sat there with a great grin on his face and one of those up and down shoulder laughs.
     
    Hooky feller, Dec 30, 2018
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