Stolen from the Rotherham bugle The appeal of Prosecco to the MILF community has been a mystery to right-thinking men for years, but now a local thirty-something woman has broken ranks to reveal the truth – that the budget wine is a vile aspirational concoction, tasting primarily of chilled fizzy witch piss. “I’ve no idea why we all drink it when we go on a girls night out said Susie Scrubsup-Well from Fulwood while sipping a large Gin and Tonic because her husband was paying. I think it’s because it’s something we can all afford, which doesn’t make us look like skanks from Pitsmoor. But it’s ****, it really is.” The owner of a local wine bar who asked not to be named for obvious reasons agrees “I can’t believe they buy this muck.” he laughed “it costs me about a quid a gallon and I knock it out at a huge mark up and they think they’re getting sophistication on the cheap. Everyone’s a winner.” Not everyone has been taken in by the Prosecco hype though. Bugle Investigations in Barnsley reveal that a girl’s night out there is still characterised by several pints of Lambrini with White Lightening chasers followed by a knee trembler round the back of Wetherspoons with a bodybuilder from Royston.
You only get the cr*p stuff in the UK Much of the Prosecco over here is far better than cheap champagne We buy t it to make cocktails … e.g. Magna Carta which is 2 measures of Tequila, 40% proof, 1 measure of Triple Sec 42% proof and topped up with Prosecco 13% proof . Don't need many of those before the double vision starts Given how cheap wine and spirits are here (decent prosecco starts at around 3 euros a bottle, Tequila 12 euros a bottle and Triple Sec around 7 euros a bottle not to mention stuff like Jim Beam at 11 Euros when it is on offer) it is very easy to become alcoholic. So far we have managed to keep it reined in a bit
