Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Met this Blonde girl last neight, r sez hi, i'm Marlon but people call me Dick for short,

    She sez how the fuk do ya get Dick from Marlon.

    You ask NICELEY sez Marlon.
     
    Winker, Feb 21, 2019
    #781
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  2. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    R sez to miss's lets go to that new Fetish Restaurunt,

    Unfukin believeable she got TOED IN THE HOLE.
     
    Winker, Feb 21, 2019
    #782
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  3. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Mi Grandson got sent hoom from school t'day,

    Teacher asked who could name 3 kings,

    He sez, Smo king, Drin king and Fu king, clever git.
     
    Winker, Feb 21, 2019
    #783
  4. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Fukin wife fell art wi mi this morning, shes a Dwarf and i took piss art of her bin little,

    But i've decided to mek amends, i've bin art and bought Chocolats and Wine, an i've Ordered her, her favorite Indian Meal.

    An to put icing on the cake, when she gets in i'm gunna run her a nice hot SINK.
     
    Winker, Feb 21, 2019
    #784
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  5. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    R couldnt believe mi luk last neight r sez to wife, wot wud tha do if i won lottery,

    She sez id tek half the money and leave you.

    R sez great heres a fiver nar fook off
     
    Winker, Feb 21, 2019
    #785
  6. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Couldnt believe mi luk last neight wen r got in R lass and 2 of her mates sat on settee, E're he is, she sez we were talking abart aving a foursome, if your up for it.

    Wi, in two minutes r was back in room wi mi cok in mi hand,

    They had TENNIS RACKETS in theirs.
     
    Winker, Feb 21, 2019
    #786
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  7. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Went art last neight and this fat lass came up to mi, squeezed mi arse, an sez giz thi numba you sexy fuka,

    R sez as tha got a pen,

    She sez yes,

    R sez well get the fuk in it before farmer notices ya missing
     
    Winker, Feb 21, 2019
    #787
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  8. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    My wife whispered to me in bed last night. Gonna whisper 3 dirty things in my ear.

    I said kitchen bathroom living room
     
    arabian_ian, Feb 21, 2019
    #788
  9. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    R went shopping wi r lass earlier, She sez your a fat idle lovely person,

    I was so shocked i neally fell art of Trolley
     
    Winker, Feb 21, 2019
    #789
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  10. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Arabian Ian, finds a pen and sez to Hooky Fella is this yours,

    Hooky Fella sez giz it ere, tries and sez yup its mine,

    Arabian Ian sez r the fuk does tha know,

    Hooky Fella sez its my Handwriting
     
    Winker, Feb 21, 2019
    #790
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  11. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    Sorry mate but nae danger do eh speak any thing like that.
     
    arabian_ian, Feb 21, 2019
    #791
  12. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Couldnt believe it got in t' neight an r lass sez, ere's 60 parnd go art and get something that meks me luk sexy.

    U should av seen her face wen i rolled in pissed
     
    Winker, Feb 21, 2019
    #792
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  13. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    Getting ready for day shift four o’clock in morning r lass looking from bed ses Thas got thi pit booits on wrong feet .
    Ar no ar ses The should be on thine
     
    Marlon, Feb 21, 2019
    #793
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  14. MarioKempes

    MarioKempes Well-Known Member

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    Brian Sykes shouts "is this a **** take"? Andy Pigg says "what do you mean"?

    Bri says "that fat useless ******* Bolam has framed this picture for me and half the ******* workshop is behind the glass". "Go put the ****** in jail".
     
    MarioKempes, Feb 22, 2019
    #794
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  15. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    That was so fukin funny x
     
    Winker, Feb 22, 2019
    #795
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  16. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    There's some idle ******* from Sheffield in London this weekend...
    I've just seen a newspaper headline that says 90% of southerners carry blades
     
    shed131, Feb 23, 2019
    #796
  17. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    Dwarf on the telly claiming he has sex with a 6'6 tall girlfriend whilst she stands up Interviewer says to the woman how does he manage that...
    He uses a bucket she replys
    Jokingly he turns to the dwarf and says it must be a tall bucket
    No not at all... just your bog standard run of the mill stuff the dwarf answers
    Let me get this right says the interviewer you use a normal bucket to stand on... Impossible
    His girlfriend interupts and says
    Who said anything about standing on the bucket... He places it over my head and swings from the handles
     
    shed131, Feb 23, 2019
    #797
  18. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Tha sure ian that's what tha said when I met thi. ;)
     
    Hooky feller, Feb 23, 2019
    #798
  19. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    Have we actually met?
     
    arabian_ian, Feb 23, 2019
    #799
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  20. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Don't think so Ian our paths may have crossed. Just said it to raise a smile. :)
     
    Hooky feller, Feb 23, 2019
    #800
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