Prat in house - what to do?

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Stahlrost, Aug 6, 2019.

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  1. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    A female friend is visiting this aft, along with her husband who's a Fowls fan. How can I get him out without offending my friend?
     
    Stahlrost, Aug 6, 2019
    #1
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  2. Mid

    Mido Well-Known Member

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    Pour coke on him and claim on the insurance.
     
    Mido, Aug 6, 2019
    #2
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  3. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    Diet, Zero or Full Fat?
     
    Stahlrost, Aug 6, 2019
    #3
  4. only1kp

    only1kp Well-Known Member

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    Not related to your problem in anyway, but at work yesterday a guy with a Wednesday top on set the alarms off on his way out of asda. As the security guard asked the standard questions a guy with a tarn top on walked in and said to the security guard "he ent nicked owt c0ck, its that **** top he's got on" He didn't see he funny side. Quite a lot of us did.

    As for your problem tell the fowls fan you have just hoovered up and don't want **** on the carpet. Am sure your friend will come round eventually :D
     
    only1kp, Aug 6, 2019
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  5. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    Put Daydream believers on loop on Telly full blast they’ll either take hint or convert.
     
    Marlon, Aug 6, 2019
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  6. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant, I've got the DVD so I'll put that on with the sound off, and play the song on loop.
     
    Stahlrost, Aug 6, 2019
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  7. CarltonRed

    CarltonRed Well-Known Member

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    Offer him canned tuna for lunch but say if he wants it he’ll have to agree to buy your house for a massively inflated price. Or he can have bacon but it’s best before date was 1966.
     
    CarltonRed, Aug 6, 2019
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  8. Durkar Red

    Durkar Red Well-Known Member

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    Every time he says Wednesday say it’s Tuesday , if he says Sheffield Wednesday correct him and say it’s Tuesday everywhere , he’ll either shut up or leave
     
    Durkar Red, Aug 6, 2019
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  9. Mid

    Mido Well-Known Member

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    Full fat, always full fat.
     
    Mido, Aug 6, 2019
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  10. Merde Tete

    Merde Tete Well-Known Member

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    Colombian. Pour it on him and call the police.
     
    Merde Tete, Aug 6, 2019
    #10
  11. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    Invite a blades fan to stand at your front door with his shirt on.... The shame of being in the shadow will see him fu.. ck off
     
    shed131, Aug 6, 2019
    #11
  12. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    Steve Bruce is popping round to say hello
     
    Stahlrost, Aug 6, 2019
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  13. jud

    judith charmers Well-Known Member

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    Cricket bat, baseball bat, something on them lines should do the trick
     
    judith charmers, Aug 6, 2019
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  14. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    I tried a cricket bat the last time they came, but I only got a thin outside edge
     
    Stahlrost, Aug 6, 2019
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  15. jud

    judith charmers Well-Known Member

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    You need to go all out attack, catch him clean and send him for a 6
     
    judith charmers, Aug 6, 2019
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  16. shed131

    shed131 Well-Known Member

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    If that's the case and it is Bruce popping in you've nothing to worry about.. He will only be there 5minutes before he fu... cks off... He never stays long no matter where he goes... Lol
     
    shed131, Aug 6, 2019
    #16
  17. Gally

    Gally Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    Try your net curtain trick? :)
     
    Gally, Aug 6, 2019
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  18. Young Nudger

    Young Nudger Well-Known Member

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    Wait while he his on his own - preferably near a toilet.
    Put your hand on his shoulder and whisper this tenderly in his ear ‘I have 6 wife’s but I’d swap them all for a night with you’.
    Then give him that beautiful smile of yours.
     
    Young Nudger, Aug 6, 2019
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  19. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    We have a winner
     
    Stahlrost, Aug 6, 2019
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  20. Young Nudger

    Young Nudger Well-Known Member

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    That’s a smokescreen.
    Yer going to do what I suggested aren't you ???
    It worked last time.
    So why not again ???
     
    Young Nudger, Aug 6, 2019
    #20
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