Random things you’ve done in your life that’s brilliantly bonkers

I deal with these issues now..and recognise a cry for help....you were in the Teddy Bear costume weren't you?

 

It could have been worse. When I started his thread after two lines the first thing that springed to mind was Jim'll fix it. Being dry loved by a coked up Iggy Pop whilst dressed as a giant teddy bear was a let off by seventies TV standards.

 

Brilliant!!!
I hope Neil Buchanan still reads the BBS.

 

I hope to God no Sun journo skim reads this thread or Monday’s headline will be ‘Fish Finger Fanny Ellis-Bextor loved by Jazzy Jeff and Iggy Pop as Mariah Carey turns blind eye’.

 

Needs to go to the Express...but get it in Twitter and Facebook first to establish provenance.

 

Menai ? Wales?
Got it. It's about sheep, and sh(e)aring. Correct?

 

Just seen this thread, and to be fair I'm wondering where to start with it. Maybe that time when my mate and I failed to buy beer aged 15, but realised there was nothing in the law stopping us from buying a home brew kit. So we did, and set it to work in my wardrobe. Unfortunately we misread the instructions, filling the bucket with 20 litres of water rather than 20 pints. Obviously it tasted like yeasty water, and had to be disposed off.

 

Correct, this.

 

Winner

 

I ate Nick Cave's serial. (True story, Manchester Academy, around 2000, British Sea Power support).

 

September 1st 2001, was in Ibiza with a load of mates. I'd only been able to get a week off work, most others were out there for a fortnight. Last night there, Germany 1 England 5. Amazing stuff. My flight back was about six the next morning. Decided I definitely didn't want to go home, so I came up with a brilliant plan. I texted a couple of colleagues telling them I'd been arrested after getting caught up in the post match celebrations (not my fault) and and to please tell the boss I would probably be released in roughly a week (totally rubbish plan, I had nowhere to stay and had completely run out of money) . When my other mate who was flying back that morning asked what time we were going to get the taxi, I told him that I wasn't coming, and explained how I was going to clear it with work. Luckily, he told me in no uncertain terms that he thought my idea was a very bad one, and that I'd probably get sacked. I started to run it by some of my other friends, who generally drew similar conclusions. Plus the person who had agreed to let me bunk down on his floor for the week (could have been @Chef Tyke ?!) was probably starting to regret the decision. After an hour or so and a lot of soul searching (and the San Miguel starting to wear off), I reluctantly decided that on balance of probability, it would be better if I went home. However, I was by this time cutting it pretty fine for my flight. We got in a taxi and headed to the airport (my mate was fine, he was on a different, later flight), where I was told that check-in had officially finished. I could still board the flight, but there was no guarantee my bag would make it. I didn't really have much choice, so I dropped it off and took my chances. Unfortunately after all of that rushing, it turned out that my flight was severely delayed, then cancelled and rerouted to Manchester, from where we'd be taken by coach back to East Midlands. I had the idea that at least I'd be able to just get the train back to Sheffield from Manchester, rather than fannying around on the bus via East Midlands, and would worry about my car (which was parked at East Mids) later. This entire plan was blown out of the water on arrival when it turned out my bag had indeed not made it onto the flight. It was on its way to Bristol. This wouldn't have been a huge problem, except for the fact that it contained my both my car key and my flat key. In the end I had no choice but to call my parents to pick me up from East Midlands Airport and take me back to their place to await the arrival of the bag. That in itself was fine, but what was not so great was having to go back to work the next day in my dad's clothes, due to the fact that I had no bag and no way of getting into my flat. I'm not sure which aspect made me feel like a bigger tit - turning up in some extremely ill-fitting pants and a pair of my old school shoes, or explaining that the tale of my arrest was a complete fabrication, designed to extend my holiday by a week.

 

Read a lot of very funny stuff on the BBS in the last 24 hours but that is an absolute peach. Kudos sir.

 

Got into Dave Bowie’s private party after a concert at Wembley. Going in via the royal box. With 2 bro in laws. ( them leading the way) Proper pantsing it. Walking round calmly. . Walking out calmly after taking some posters of the concert off the walls. ( was held in the concourse) Wives thinking we’d got lost, waiting down Wembley way.

 

Did you sleep with him?

 

Works Xmas do. Keresforth Hall. Partners n’all. Mate walks in with the most stunning bird you’ve ever seen. It Was his cousin.
He says to me, She wants to go to bed with him. Would it be wrong .
Don’t know if my reply was the correct one. .
Incest. The game for all the family.
Sheffield that is.

 

Sylvain Ebanks Blake?

 

He's too busy as his alter ego Banksy these days

 

Slept in a lifeboat on the Hull - Rotterdam ferry.

 

Played footy with East17 back stage in a park in Hull, before they went on stage at an 80s revival festival. One of them had just started learning Brazillian jujitsu and, in the style of Kato of Pink Panther fame, was attacking people at random trying to put them in choke holds.

 

So one of my regeneration projects is a start up venue for street food, bars and shops based in shipping containers which, let's just say, is a bit progressive for York and not universally popular with some of the more conservative (little c) people of the city. Consequently it is controversial and faces a huge amount of public scrutiny.

Anyway, after the first amazing sun drenched summer the (excellent but inexperienced) guys running it realised that winter would need some cover, so ordered a great big canvas roof (which they didn't have planning for) and decided it to launch it with a DJ set from Jazzy Jeff (for which they didn't have a licence) and advertised both facts to the public. Me being a less conservative (little and big c) person of the city was all over this event, so bought a ticket and set about trying to resolve the planning and licensing issues from a professional perspective.

As the big gig date approached the roof arrived and was fitted without planning permission - which wasn't going to be terminal to the event - but crucially without any building regs sign off for the installation. At this point I had to agree with colleagues that this was unacceptable given the 100 plus people who were going to be in attendance. Cue a Mexican stand off with the guys running it who were refusing to pay over the odds to get a structural engineer at short notice to sign it off, and so I was instructed to start legal proceedings that morning to stop DJ Jazzy Jeff's set later that evening.

This of course focused the organisers' minds, and two hours before show time a hastily produced, although impressively thorough and therefore expensive, structural engineer report arrived and I could stand down the injunction.

Unfortunately it was made clear to me by my boss that given the public uproar the event had caused it may not be best if I was then seen in attendance at the launch. So I went for a curry instead.

Still don't know how they managed to book DJ Jazzy Jeff.