Random things you’ve done in your life that’s brilliantly bonkers

That smells a bit fishy to me....

 

Was once at a Reserve match & mi best Mate was having a party in the east stand for his lad and about 15 of his lads mates & at half time they came & sat in some seats. I was sat in the west stand & all of a sudden I could hear this chanting "there's only one (my name) one (my name) there's only one(my name), one (my name) there's only one(my name) towhich I stood up waved & took a bow, marvelous how many on hear have had your name sang out in adoration at the Well, well chuffed.


Minst having said that, it's a good thing there is only one of me

 

Raced Peter Elliott on 4 occasions 1st time beat us by about 200/250mtrs 4th time got to within about 80mrts of him.

 

I was only 11 when this happened so that's my excuse. There used to be a sump at the back of Barrow Colliery where all the water from the baths/showers was collected. The water was a grey pink colour and stunk of carbolic soap which the miners must have used in the showers. It was a mixture of water, coal and soap. Anyway, there was a sluice gate accessed by a wooden plank, presumably to drain it off once the crap had settled. I've no idea why, but one of our gang thought it would be good fun to walk the plank whilst the rest of us lobbed boulders in the water to wet them through. 4 of us did it and got drenched. As our clothes dried on the way home, we were all covered head to foot in pink stains. We decided that we'd all explain it away by telling our parents that some "big lads" had made us all "walk the plank." and that none of us knew any of the culprits. To this day, I haven't a clue why we went along with it. Barmy.

 

It happened all the time up until around 5 years ago when all alcohol became banned in schools (including on trips). Teachers used to get pissed out of their heads on Christmas Dinner Day too when the Head bought cases of wine for lunchtime. It absolutely blew my mind and I refused to touch it as 1) I was teaching and 2) they shut the school early on the last day so everyone had to drive home at 4pm. I didn’t volunteer to go on the trips because I knew all the stories from previous times. I cannot understand it at all. It wouldn’t happen now though unless they wanted to risk the sack, it used to be completely acceptable but it is well known that it is not tolerated now.

 

That reminds me of something similar I did with my colleague in my 2nd week of teaching. We were teaching about WWI and so the kids could empathise with evacuees we told them that they were being moved to another school that afternoon. There was building work going on in school so we told them that their classroom was going to be knocked down and the local school didn’t have space for them so they would be going to random schools around the country. We got them to empty their trays, put on name tags and get their coats and bags ready. We said that their parents had been phoned and informed and that they would be picking them up from their new school. A lot were naturally skeptical so we got the Head to come in with some of the builders and confirm it. The builders were great, they drew new plans showing the classroom being demolished and everything. We then lined them up and got all the other teachers to come out and wave them off as we walked them outside. We knew we’d gone too far when one lad started crying because his little brother had just started in reception and he’d been hoping to look after him and now he couldn’t. I have no idea to this day how we didn’t get a single parental complaint.

 

I remember one particular school trip to France where teachers honestly could not have cared less about the pupils safety. We were staying in a hostel with no locks on the doors just a few miles from where a British schoolgirl had been raped and murdered in her hotel room while we were there and I remember wondering why it was girls on the first floor, boys on the second and teachers on the third as there was literally nothing stopping anyone walking in and up to the first floor rooms which had no locks

Definetly wouldn't happen these days

 

Me and the good lady wife were invited to quite a posh dinner party, our host, knowing that I am a music nut. sat me next to Freddie Mercury's sister.

I absolutely despise Queen.

 

Was it go-kart racing?!

 

This wasn't the 7-1 Huddersfield game was it? I ask because l was in hospital with a broken leg and ankle and the guy in the bed next to me - who was a former BFC physio did exactly the same.

Quick edit - just seen your replies..

When he sneaked back in he walked over to my bed and said l even grabbed a pint in the hospital club on my way back in!

 

The Tranmere match I went to was a Tuesday night game. They knew I'd gone and I got a b@llacking when I got back, but I fully intended to repeat the act on the Saturday as we were at home again. Because, well, they're not the boss of me. But I actually did myself a bit of a mischief that night and I couldn't walk for the next week. Which turned out OK as we lost 5-0 at home to Birmingham that Saturday.

Other things that probably fit this thread

• Got married in Vegas
• Current girlfriend lives in Australia
• Slept in an outlet pipe from a factory and was washed into the river when they opened it up that morning.
• Broke my skull twice, resulting in two separate stints in BDGH with severe concussion. The incidents were 6 years apart but both were accidents in the same recreation ground with the exact same swing.
• Walked into BDGH and shouted "If you don't fix me I'm going to die in your hallway!" after being diagnosed with gastroenteritis when I'd actually had a ruptured appendix for two weeks.
• Believe in freedom and that civil and personal rights are important.

 

I got a wave from Princess Grace of Monaco outside Tannadice.
I was early for the game. Possibly just too excited about our game with Monaco. Got to the top of N Isla Street when a huge police convoy passed in front of me. When it stopped just opposite where I was standing Princess Grace looked out of the window and waved. I was on my own no one else around.
And I also gave Natalie Sawer the privilege of having her picture taken with me outside Oakwell.

 

I probably shouldn't, but I'm really laughing at that one. Mental, just mental...

I'm assuming alcohol was involved?

 

Not me mate. But I remember a lad from Jump. ( real name Kevin) Nicknamed Selwyn. Used to have his name sung. Daft bugger used to love going among away fans in home and away grounds on his own and causing havoc. We’d all look up, and there he’d be stood int middle on em. How he ever got out alive amused us all. Was a badge of honour for him.
Funniest was Stockport away. He Stood ont top of dugout in front of their fans beckoning em on. Grabbed by the scruff of the neck by plod. And marched across pitch. Afoor game started.

 

Alcohol was involved in the decision on where to sleep. But, unfortunately, it was no longer present in my system when I felt the full force of the punchline.

 

800mtrs actually

 

best thing I've done today is follow this Apolitical thread (well done TN) - best thread we've had in a very long time.

And I had my photo taken with Krista Ackroyd in Wembley when we played Cardiff - where is she now?

 

That's still pretty impressive mate. It's quite difficult to appreciate just how quick the elite distance runners are when we see them "jogging" along at the Olympics on telly, especially if you've just been watching some sprinting beforehand. Quite a long time ago, when I was much younger and fitter, out of interest I tried to run one mile on the treadmill at the same pace Paula Radcliffe broke the world marathon record. I managed it, but I felt like the treadmill was going so fast I was in danger of being sent flying into the wall if I stopped moving! And that is the pace she maintained, for 26 miles. Unreal for us mere mortals.

 

That outlet pipe story is absolutely hilarious, but could have possibly ended in serious injury or worse!

 

Presuming this was as a teenager?
It’s actually quite an impressive feat TBF. Did you know he still holds the U17 record for 800m?