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Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Bossman, Dec 19, 2020.

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  1. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

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    What is a Barnsley ?
    Barnsley is a hedonistic town in the north of the north. It’s a regular haunting for the likes of ghosts and Darren Gob from Talk Sport. Dazza Gobba is from Monk Breton in Barnsley and we will come back to that later. He alleges that he was once offered a pro football contract by Rotherham United. So, now it’s later why Monk Breton ? simple, it’s where Garry Monk was born, when they slapped his arse in the delivery room they noticed he was wearing an expensive watch and his wife took it off him. Barnsley is famous for the amount of magic mushrooms that can be located over a specific acre of field in a secret area everyone knows about just outside the town. In 2011 the Barnsley chop was banned in the town, the chop is a piece of meat, a cut close to the spine of an animal. At this point the animal is dead, or nearly dead, sometimes it is very dead. The Barnsley chop isn’t banned in Monk Breton and Gawber. Gawber is now called that name because someone in the past decided that would be a good idea. The name remains.

    [​IMG]
    Barnsleh ! was the first English town to cater for people with no heads in the T-shirt game

    92,000 people live in that Barnsley where the favourite pastime of locals aged forty and over is playing in brass bands. Only 1% of the population is Asian before you lot start, but it does have countless white people of British birth, I don’t know why I am going here, but why not ? it’s a fact. The town isn’t as multi cultural as Whitland or maybe Kenfif Hill, but who is caring ? Don’t start your nonsense on here or I’ll offer you out. Ok ?

    Thingy, you know the umpire bloke and Michael Parkinson who actually came round our house once are from Barnsley. That’s about it, only five people who live there are called Lee Barnes.

    [​IMG]
    This is Darren Gobs house in Barnsley, it’s got a lovely paint job. Tha knaws

    Football news may appear later.
     
    Bossman, Dec 19, 2020
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  2. jud

    judith charmers Well-Known Member

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    :D:D:D
     
    judith charmers, Dec 19, 2020
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  3. ATY

    ATYKE1 Well-Known Member

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    I think that’s quite good.
    Nothing wrong with a bit of gentle ribbing.
     
    ATYKE1, Dec 19, 2020
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  4. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

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    Love it.
    Sadly very accurate.
     
    Mr Badger, Dec 19, 2020
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  5. Cow

    Cowboy Well-Known Member

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    They're obviously against the Barnsley Chop,after all, every lamb to the slaughter is one less chance for their menfolk to pull:p
     
    Cowboy, Dec 19, 2020
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  6. Archey

    Archey Well-Known Member

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    I'm proud that our town is the pioneer in headless t-shirts. Something I didn't know, and will tell all my mates on our next kestrel meeting.
     
    Archey, Dec 19, 2020
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  7. Ton

    Tonjytyke Well-Known Member

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    LOL. I would add that we, at least “eat” our sheep in the more traditional way!!
     
    Tonjytyke, Dec 19, 2020
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  8. Lone Striker

    Lone Striker Well-Known Member

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    Sheep $Haggers might at least have spelled Bretton correctly.
     
    Lone Striker, Dec 19, 2020
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  9. BrunNer

    BrunNer Well-Known Member

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    It reads like a Google translation. Was it originally in Welsh or summat?
     
    BrunNer, Dec 19, 2020
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  10. Tyke_67

    Tyke_67 Well-Known Member

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    Good, I'll tell my lot at our next brass band practice :D
     
    Tyke_67, Dec 19, 2020
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  11. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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    Really? Well I for one don’t know one Lee Barnes! :p
     
    North Yorks Red, Dec 19, 2020
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  12. hav

    havana red1 Well-Known Member

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    They're right about the secret area....not so secret for the select few in the know :)
    A clue: on the border with West Yorkshire.
     
    havana red1, Dec 19, 2020
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  13. tosh

    tosh Well-Known Member

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    And as somebody from Burton, I find that spelling very annoying.
     
    tosh, Dec 19, 2020
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  14. Mr C

    Mr C Well-Known Member

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    Bloke thinks he’s funny. He isn’t. :)
     
    Mr C, Dec 19, 2020
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  15. Red

    Redblueunwhite Well-Known Member

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    Tek ner notice .
     
    Redblueunwhite, Dec 19, 2020
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  16. Harry Hough

    Harry Hough Well-Known Member

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    They still haven't forgiven us for the 2006 Playoff Final, have they!
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2020
    Harry Hough, Dec 19, 2020
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  17. Prince of Risborough

    Prince of Risborough Well-Known Member

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    I’m still waiting to laugh. Pathetic attempt at humour
     
    Prince of Risborough, Dec 19, 2020
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  18. Skinner

    Skinner Well-Known Member

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    Hmmm pulled lamb..summat for buffet at Archeys next Kestrel meeting.
     
    Skinner, Dec 19, 2020
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  19. Dalestykes

    Dalestykes Well-Known Member

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    Damn. I was hoping that was really derogatory so I could get into ‘hater’ mode before the game. Sadly, it isn’t. It’s quite clever.

    Looks like I’m just going to have to watch my re-runs of Steve Cooper (the Diddy, not the acrobat) Interview videos; the most classless inarticulate idiot since Gary Monk.
     
    Dalestykes, Dec 19, 2020
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  20. BostonRed

    BostonRed Well-Known Member

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    Love it when opposition fans go to effort of making stuff like this.
     
    BostonRed, Dec 19, 2020
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