My father

My old man has alzheimers for about 3 years. He was diagnosed about 3yrs ago. Fecking horrible disease. He was a big reds fan took me in 1980 and stopped going after shrewsbury 3-1 loss few years ago. My mother is having to retire in 2 weeks as she works mon to thurs and he is at home all day on his own and has started to escape we have been looking around rhyl for him on 4 or 5 occasions now. Police found him twice.

I wouldnt wish this disease on my worst enemy ( not that i have any). Its bloody horrible, he has been at my house from 1pm to 4.30pm mon, tues and today. Its hard work i tell u with the putting coat on a dozen times and trying to leave, he doesnt recognise his grand daighter, who is 6, i dont think.

He was 65 wen he got it which is pretty young the doc says. Anyway just asking if another one else has to deal with or dealt with this in your family.

All the best reds fans. Peace and love to you all.

 

Sorry, to hear this BB. My Dad has developed Alzeimer's in the last couple of years and couple with his Cancer of lungs and stomach, now requires constant care (provided by my Mum). He rarely knows what's happening, but has a good day sometimes and you can actually have a reasonable conversation, but these are very few and far between and getting rarer. It's a horrible disease as you say and it seems like there is little to be done about it, especially as he's 85. It's just a case of grin and bear it really

 

At our last house in the centre of Barnsley one of the neighbours developed early onset dementia - he was maybe in his late 40s/early 50s with teenagers. Unfortunately, the deterioration was terrible to see and he only lasted a couple of years

There isn't much you can do at all and this will be difficult for you all - you might not want to, but it could be worth investigating the care options that are available - whether in home or a care home - perhaps speak to his doctor to get advice on the help that is available in your area. Wales is different to England, so you might be able to get different help to someone here.

Finally, try to remember him as he was, not as he is now. This awful disease takes away who you are and leaves behind a shell that looks and sounds the same, but isn't.

 

Has your Mum got Attendance Allowance and any other money? I know its not going to make up for the hardship but its worth checking out of you've not done so. My Dad gets about £6k for looking after my Mum, although she'd argue he's not doing that much!

Best wishes.

 

You have my utmost sympathy BB. It's a horrible disease and in truth you haven't much to look forward to other than hard times ahead. However you have lots of great memories to cherish through the hard times and even though we don't all agree all the time on here and are from a diverse range of backgrounds and political views you can rest assured when you are feeling down you will be able to come on here and take comfort from the love and compassion you'll receive unconditionally. Keep your chin up pal and try to make the best of things. Hope you and your Dad can spend some quality time together.

 

My mother has him booked for a activity next but its 50 quid a day so not cheap for her. Specially as she retires soon.

I did read alot onlune that they kinda know wat causes it now which is recent they say a game changer, it wont help my dad but hopefully future generations.

 

My Grandma had it, think she was in around 70 when she first developed it but lived past 90, so a big chunk of her life. When she was in a home she used to go into the other residents rooms and pack their suitcases for them. Although it is a terrible disease, my children still saw something of her character, she was always focused on doing well in education and a very hospitable person ( she would always ask if we wanted something to eat and would suggest we could put a bed in the wardrobe if we wanted to stay!)
My mum got the early onset one and the gp said she'd last the year and he was right in that.

 

It's a chuffin nightmare mate, killed mi dad & mi Mam is in the advanced stages of it, feel for you, it's so saddening to watch them decline.

 

Horrible disease but the good news (there is some) is that there are a lot of things available these days to help. Not that will help your dad's condition but that will help your mum and the rest of your family.

First thing I'd do us get some kind of device that you can slip into his inside coat pocket or even sew into his coat. It may not sound nice but essentially a tracker so if he does leave the house he can be quickly found. I believe you can set them up so that an alarm goes off as soon as he leaves the property too.

 

Thanks fellow tykes. Means alot

 

I should have said its not means tested so income won't be an issue.

 

It is cruel but what i would abvise to you is this

The person you now see is your dad but only in physical form,.mentally he is someone else and to him so are you.

So just remember your dad at his best during those halcyon days of taking you to Oakwell as a kid. Thats your dad.

Stay strong pal.

Been there myself with my mum.

 

Brings back sad memories, Dad died 10 years ago and would have been his birthday this week, sadly he spent the last 5 years in a home as we could no longer cope. watching a very intelligent man disappear a little at a time was devastating but for some reason I seemed to be the one thing that he remembered. As a few have said though I have fond memories of us going to livestock markets ,the Yorkshire show, fixing me and mi brothers banger cars, fixing up mi first house wi ar lass and doing 10 years of kids football in horrendous weather watching my lad play which he loved. never let those memories go because they help you to get past the pain that the disease brings...keep safe all.

 

Hi mate, just wondering if your mum has got sorted with her careers allowances. You’ll be surprised just how much you are entitled to, I know a guy who works for a company who work on behalf of the government to ensure people get the money they deserve in these circumstances and he also helps people fill their forms in and will tell you what else you are entitled to claim for. If you need the number just drop my a PM and I’ll pass it on.

So sorry to hear about your dads condition, it can’t be easy. Always here if you need a chat.

 

Horrific disease. So sorry mate. I wish you strength.

 

well done, BB.

me granma lived up near the Yews at Bank End. The police brought her back, maybe four times. Me dad sat with her a lot. She would tell him about her bairns, 'grand big lads'. Stoic and patient that was me dad and me mam in doing their best for her.