Curfew for Men!

I’ve seen there has been a lot of people sharing their harassment or assault stories on places like Instagram and Twitter. My worry is that this is essentially an echo chamber and women are essentially preaching to the converted. I also feel that this type of sharing may be triggering for women who have been through this, so I am not sure it is the most sensible idea.

I agree men need educating on issues that could make women feel uncomfortable, I think the current debate is between people who already know right and wrong and how not to harass or make women feel uncomfortable.

How you get through to the people who don’t understand the issue however, I have no idea.

 

Doesn’t help they got there own place to walk now ,psycho paths everywhere now,some are even on bikes

 

Not making light of it. But the obsession in the media that assaults on women are increasing and perceptions like "most women have suffered a sexual assault or know someone who has" is some leap for Donny Red to extrapolate that into ...." then the men committing these offences aren’t a bad apple, they’re a sizeable proportion of the male population."

Obviously as the population increases, even IF the percentage of these incidents compared to population size decreases, which it should given physical abuse like spanking, etc is no longer acceptable as it was 30 or 40 years ago, then the actual numbers of these crimes will go up. That said, IMO, one assault is one too many !
Nevertheless you cannot escape the irony in someone arguing that a curfew for men would reduce discrimination !!?? It is the same fear verging on paranoia as the odd parent seeing any single man of whatever age as being a child molester. I remember walking around Locke Park with my wife one sunny Autumn day and passing a bench near where the play area was. There was an old man at least 70 enjoying the sun, and a child's ball rolled towards him. He bent down and picked it up and the child (probably about 4 or 5) went up to him. The old man handed him the ball and said something to him. The mother, several yards away, shouted to him to "come away from that man". That would be fair enough, but the manner in which she shouted it was verging on hysteria. My wife and I just looked at each other.

Years ago kids walked to and from school alone, they played out alone , and yet, parents now feel the need to escort them too and from school even when it is within walking distance. What has changed? Is there actually an increased risk or is it simply the perception that the risk is higher than it was. Statistically, I believe, you are no more at risk walking out at night than you have ever been in most areas. Yes, there are certainly 'no go' areas in all major cities and towns especially where there is the gang culture, but that applies to everyone not just women.

I am not saying that we should ignore, suppress reporting of incidents or gloss over the problems women face, but IMO the current fixation in the media risks changing healthy caution (again no-one man women etc. should be afraid to go out alone at night) into life changing, for many people, paranoia. LIfe is full of risks and, whilst you try to minimise them by taking sensible precautions, living in fear is , for me at least, NOT an option.

 

Think we should have all women in burkas?

 

Yes.... clearly.... thats the answer. *rolls eyes*

 

My wife is very passionate about this issue through her own previous experiences and the experiences of women she knows. She’s actively involved in feminist causes and has brought a lot of things to my attention that I just didn’t realise the scale of.

I’ve heard her stories and the first-hand stories of our female friends (mid 20s).

People on this thread who think the ‘vast majority’ of men are innocent are wrong.

At a house party in 2019 conversation got onto how men treat women. There was a show of hands for every woman in the room who felt they had been sexually or emotionally abused. They all put their hands up.

Problems included:

The woman not consenting to sex, guy getting píssy, putting pressure on and the woman eventually caving in just to ‘get it over with’.

Man sneakily taking condom off mid-sex without the woman’s consent.

Man threatening to joke to pals about a woman’s ‘imperfections’ down below if they didn’t get what they want.

Gaslighting - “Are you sure that’s what happened?”, “You’ve got an awful memory”, “You shouldn’t be upset at that” etc etc.

Women have a right to feel uncomfortable around men. It’s a deserved reputation.

No, not all men are bad, but many who think or say they’re good aren’t.

The curfew will never happen, it was just a conversation starter.

 

I'd be scared to go out after 6 due to the streets and woods being full of rampant women !

 

I sense another 100 page thread coming on..
My last bus home is 8pm. Does that make me exempt?

 

I was speaking with my wife last night about how she feels and how she might act differently. Generally, and despite me trying to look out for her, she considers herself pretty bombproof and is often oblivious to danger. She tends to go for a walk very early in the morning locally in London (6am sort of time) and it worries me greatly, but she rarely sees anyone and generally walks in residential areas (we're probably about 2 miles away from Clapham where the missing woman was last seen). She'd gone for a walk yesterday evening while i was working and did say she felt a lot more aware, was aware of a man in a car parked in a dark area watching her go back. A group of men getting off a bus and turning their heads and then laughing and just generally aware of the presence of others.

As a male, I have to confess, the first 3 things in your list, I wouldn't think twice about and I'm quite happy walking anywhere and in any light. Though there may be times when you become more wary. The only time I've had trouble was walking to Barnsley train station very early in the morning (6:30am ish) to head back to London about 5 years ago when a group of drunken idiots decided to start throwing ice and rocks at me from a long distance. I stopped, turned, said nothing and then carried on walking... and still they carried on, though they couldn't throw them far enough. But thats the only time i've felt uncomfortable, and that includes being in all sorts of countries from all forms of cultures and religion.

But it saddens me greatly that it isn't the case for everyone.

From the 4th one down, I've seen behaviours like that all too often and I don't see how that changes any time soon. This small microcosm very much highlights the challenges.

 

I’ve always advocated voluntary DNA samples for any individual with nothing to hide..

 

I agree men need educating on issues that could make women feel uncomfortable, I think the current debate is between people who already know right and wrong and how not to harass or make women feel uncomfortable.

How you get through to the people who don’t understand the issue however, I have no idea.[/QUOTE]

SOME men, a lot of us were brought up to be respectful to women

 

SOME men, a lot of us were brought up to be respectful to women[/QUOTE

 

Exactly. No one should ignore someone in distress.

 

And believe me, nor do women!

 

The amount of stories/cases I’ve read over the last 48 hours has been shocking to me. Females not doing certain things that I take for granted because of fear and yet instead of being educated about it, people just seem to argue. Why should a female not be able to walk home in the dark? Why should a female not be able to go to a gig and not be groped in the crowd? Why should a female not be able to exercise without guys staring at her/catcalling towards her?

It is not all men but at this point it certainly seems like it’s all women.

 

Thing is on here it’s preaching to the converted we all seem to have the right moral compass.
Stuff like this has always been there, I remember my missus coming in shook up because a bloke had followed here all over Tarn staring at her in broad daylight for a while( no mobiles in those days) and I got jumped one night in town by two pissed up idiots for absolutely nothing other than they felt like it and I’m six foot two!

 

2% of the population. The proportion of those with these tendencies becoming full blown murderers is a lot less though... again a generalisation to fit the nonsense.

 

There's a debate to be had about societal issues around sexual harassment and patriarchal attitudes which still exist, this is totally unhelpful however

 

As ever, your clamour to be the darling to the cause... you miss what people are actually saying completely. The “what can I do to help can be asked” whilst still disagreeing with the general concept of locking up the male population for the actions of 0.01% of the population.