Curfew for Men!

I bought one of them off a bloke in a pub, bugger never did get owt off it !

 

And only idiots take it at face value.

No one is sensibly having a debate about an actual male curfew.

But we have opened a debate because of what she said (and interestingly created a parapet for the idiots to raise their hands above).

So, from where I’m stood it’s a win.

 

I'm glad the suggestion of a male curfew has been put out there and its causing debate.

It's interesting though how that debate is shaped, how some react and how others look to solve the issues while others find other problems which deflect and circumvent actions or ideas being taken to change things.

By default, men often find a way of entrenching the status quo through creating inaction and stalemate. I don't think it's always intended, but it often has that effect.

So what about this. For all the non criminal. non psychopath, non sociopath men on this site, who respect women, who believe women should have equality and opportunity, and all others, but the topic is women at this moment, so lets respect that... what behaviours are you going to change or adopt that will assist women to be less fearful, less objectified, safer and allowed to live their lives in a way that is better than it was before this debate came into the public domain.

I'll start. I have a tendency at times to talk over people, generally through exuberance and keenness, it's been garnered through being in boardrooms, predominantly male, where it can be difficult to get airtime to make very important points. I had a call within the hour and realised i was doing it on the phone too. I realised i was doing it in a group with two women on the call. I apologised. it's something I shouldn't do and will attempt not to.

So what are you going to do?

 

The thing is that we're not just talking about the men who actually go to the lengths of committing a crime. There is a huge problem with men behaving inappropriately with the result that women are constantly having to avoid, manage virtually every situation of their lives.
Unfortunately the number of men who fall into this category are far more than a small minority.

 

But nowhere near to the same degree. Not really the issue at hand.

 

https://news.sky.com/story/sarah-ev...-men-says-she-wanted-to-make-a-point-12243462

 

If there’s one thing I’d like from men it’s for them to not follow me whilst shouting sexual things at me when I’m walking along and I’m on my own and there’s a group of them (although now I’ve typed the group bit out I think it would be way creepier if they were on their own actually). Especially when they are in a car and they slow right down to drive along at the same speed as I am walking, I can’t put into words how scary that is!! I know I said one but I’m going for a second as it’s linked, don’t tell me to smile/cheer up or swear at me/call me a name if I ignore your shitty sexual shouting. It’s the hardest thing as a woman knowing whether to ignore something or smile slightly and laugh along. You don’t want to encourage them but boy do they turn aggressive quickly if you ignore them. I think that’s why a lot of men think it is a compliment because so many women smile and nervous laugh at their comments.

 

Exactly, that’s what I hope these conversations will change. No one’s changing the rapists and murderers but I would love for all the every day dickheads to do one.

 

I wish it were otherwise, but the sad fact is that it's never been safe to walk the streets alone in the dark. I doubt that it ever will be. Most of us have done it, and gotten away with it, but it's risky. As a parent, I always told my kids (2 daughters, 1 son) that I'd rather be woken up at 2am by them phoning for a lift home, than be woken up at 3am by the police bringing me bad news.

The curfew idea is a soundbite. I doubt it's a serious suggestion, but if it makes us stop and think about men's attitudes to women, then it's serving a useful purpose.

 

Another thing that needs to happen is for the rest of us men to make the ‘laddish’ behavior towards women unacceptable around us.....

 

I think she should have said a curfew for all the people of colour, that would have really started the debate. See how many would still back what she was saying, obviously only the idiots would have took it at face value

 

Just read Marina Hyde’s latest timely article. Worth a read.

 

All commited by men, I suppose.

 

You're missing the point.

 

Yes.

Although, I missed quite a big section out of my original post. I only related the incidents to the crimes committed by men. So, clearly, everything I said was committed by a man. If I broaden that...

Every single one of my female friends has been attacked by a woman. One of my great friends from work, in her 60s, had her hip broken by a woman very recently. Every girlfriend I've ever had has been attacked by a woman. Every time I go out the majority of fights I see in the street are woman on woman.

My bad, I should have explained better.

If you're a woman, the chances are that if you're attacked on a night out it will be by another woman.

The chances are if you're attacked at all it will be by a male partner or family member.

 

I would argue it has potentially caused the opposite. It’s caused people to take it seriously, thus becoming more agitated at the prospect, harming the good cause. I think statements like she made are dangerous, in the very literal world we live.

 

What are you counting as attacked though? Physical violence? I don’t know a single female friend who has been hurt by a woman (unless we count one friend who got hit by a girl at school). I know a few, including myself, who have been hurt by men. If we count low level sexual assault (e.g. groping) then I have been ‘attacked’ literally hundreds of times by men, never by women. If we include verbal ‘attacks’ then we’re up to hundreds again from men (pretty much entirely sexual with a few threatening) and maybe 3 from women (all threatening from strangers). I’ve seen a few female fights but hardly any, absolutely loads of male fights and a few female/male fights, mostly the female hitting the male.

 

Opinions eh...

I don't live in that very literal world, if you choose to, that's your prerogative.

 

As have I by women.

 

I can’t deny your lived experience Jay, (even though it’s vastly different to mine) but as you like to use statistics:
90% of murders are committed by men
87% of offences against the person are committed by men
98% of sexual offences are committed by men

There’s a phrase common in my childhood, that I haven’t heard for decades and it turned up on my Twitter feed on Thursday... ‘cloth eared’. It’s an accurate description of a lot of posters on this thread.

Sadly this issue is going nowhere, in the same way that #metoo changed nothing. Men still run the world and they refuse to accept that they can do anything about this issue, even worse - in the face of overwhelming evidence, there’s a tendency towards denying the problem exists.