BFC Nightmare away days

After Tyketical Masterstrokes post about his nightmare away day I just wondered if anyone's had one following the Reds.

Breakdowns (vehicles not mental), travel problems, personal etc......

Best ones will be banked up for the next few EyUp & Downs.

 

Birmingham away in the 99/00 season. Lost 3-1 and me and a mate inadvertently parked in a home car park, so got punched in the belly on the way back.

Vowed I'd never visit that heap of a place again, and obviously then missed a certain game 2 months later.

 

Norwich.
The worst ground to get away from. Dont know why I go. Knowing full well the return journey is a mare. Still looking at the floodlights 1.5 hrs later.

 

In 1972 when I was 17 I set off alone for Crewe in thick fog on a Lambretta GP150. I intended to cross the moors on the Strines road, but in the fog I somehow got lost up on the moors. Visibility was about the same as looking at Pluto through the wrong end of a telescope. Eventually, after driving around barely above walking pace for about an hour, I found a nice straight road.

As my speed increased, I couldn't have predicted the 90 degree bend in the road up ahead in the fog. Too late, I realised I was going too fast. I went straight on, up onto a grass verge, then head on into a low wall. At this point the law of conservation of momentum took over, and I somersaulted over the handlebars and over the wall. The drop on the other side was far greater, and I went into free fall before landing in a cow pat in a field.

Shaken, smelly but unhurt, I heard the engine on my scooter still making its distinctive pop-pop-pop sound. I climbed back up the wall to find it on its side with petrol leaking. At this point I needed a pee badly, and as visibility was so bad I just "went" where I stood. This would turn out to be a bad decision.

I realised I needed to turn the engine off, but the keys had flown out on impact with the wall. I then had to crawl about looking for the keys in the grass, only to find that I'd peed on them earlier. Undeterred, I turned off the engine and righted the vehicle. I still had no clue where I was, but I had to get going otherwise I'd miss the kick off.

The scooter at first appeared to be undamaged and started up again readily, but then I realised that the handlebars were no longer aligned with the front wheel. In fact they were pointing about 45 degrees to the right. I therefore had to allow for this when steering, which resulted in an unusual driving position - to go straight on I had to pretend to turn right, to turn right I had to pretend to make a U turn, and to turn left I had to pretend to go straight on.

Eventually I got the hang of it, and crept along with my headlamp shining to the right hand verge. I finally found a lonely farmhouse and stopped to ask for help. They were very good, they let me park my scooter there and explained that I was in Oughtibridge. After a hot drink I set off to get the bus home, which firstly went to Stocksbridge then finally via the Stocksbridge circular to Barnsley.

I got home about 6pm, to find out that we'd lost 1-0. At least I didn't have to watch it.

 

Proper laughing at this onel

 

West Brom away late 80’s

got the train to Birmingham and it being quite early and being a skint kids we decided to walk to the ground, saw some floodlights and off we went... 3 miles the wrong way towards Birmingham city. Trudged back to the city centre and got a bus to West Bromwich in plenty of time to see us larruped 7 nil.

 

Portsmouth away - arrived late. Delayed kick off. Sat down. Steve Claridge hattrick. Came home

 

Brighton maybe 4 or 5 years ago. Courthouse Reds coach left town at 6am with the intention of the usual stop off for ‘refreshments’. Horrendous traffic almost all the way down meant that the stop off was cancelled and we headed straight to Brighton.

We then hit a motorway closure; the coach driver checked his satnav and took an alternate route rather than following the diversion signs. We ended up down a beautiful (but narrow) country road, culminating in an extremely narrow hump bridge that the coach had no chance of negotiating. After an Austin Powers style several-point turn, we had to head all the way back to where the diversion started and join the rest of the jam. Having also hit the football traffic for the last few miles of the journey, we finally got to the stadium and missed the first 15 minutes or so of the game. It was the season Brighton went up to the prem, they easily beat us (2-0?), made infinitely worse by being unusually sober for the game.

If we thought the journey home couldn’t be any worse we were wrong. Even worse traffic, and the M1 closed because of an accident meant a detour around Dunstable, which was pretty much 2 hours sitting waiting to move. A local off licence had probably the best trading day it had ever had while everyone stuck in the queue nipped out and stocked up on provisions. I finally got home around 2am, 21 hours after leaving the house, pretty much 19 of which were spent sat on the coach.

I don’t like Brighton away.

 

Southampton away premier league season.

Mate was driving down. 4 in the car. 4th person had been on the razz all Friday night in Sheffield (Niche nightclub) had brought a lass back with him and not slept. We had to drop her off. He was still hammered and we ended up have to wait at Victoria Wine for him to continue his session. Fair to say we were running late.

On the way down the M1 it was raining and i was in the front passenger seat and ahead i could see all 3 lanes of traffic with brake lights on. We were running late like i said and the driver was doing his best Nigel Mansell impersination and touching 90mph .i told him to brake. He said we were ok. I told him to brake again. He said he was fine. At this time we were in the inside lane. The final time i yelled brake and adopted the crash position expecting to meet my maker. 10 seconds later i lifted my head to find us in the 3rd lane and the guy alongside us giving us a round of applause. This was only the bottom side of Sheffield.

Moving on we parked up near the ground and found a boozer that did food as well. Worst beef sandwich ever in fact im sure it still had a pulse.

Got in the ground at the old Dell and heard the team news that Redfearn was out injured. We were situated 2 rows from the front and had no overhead cover and it was teeming down.

Soaked to the skin 5 minutes gone and 2 down already (and Carlton Palmer was one of their goalscorers).

Think we gave it 20 minutes in to the second half and decided we'd seen enough. Found out it had ended up 4-1. Drunk mate had found more cans in the back and was still on it but eventually needed to piss. Driver wasn't prepared to stop so he ended up pissing in to empy cans and lobbing them on to hard shoulder of the motorway i was in the back with him and think some of his body liquid may have come in to contact with me.

Mate was driving up at the same speed he drove down.

Ended up getting in to the Theatre on Wellington Street by 9.20pm.

Halcyon days.

 

Between the years 1990 to 1993, I didn't have a car, went everyone by train/coach. Playing away at Bristol City this weekend, anyway always set off early, usually got there about 11 ish. Had something to eat and a couple of drinks and went for a walk around the city. Ended up the wrong side of the river with no way to get back that we could see. It's 2.30 and no idea where we are. We legged it back to the city centre full pelt and to the train station, catch a taxi to the ground. Made it there 10 past 3. Not bad to say we arrived at 11 o' clock

 

Was that Johnny Steele`s first game back as manager once more.? Surely yer didn`t mek that trip to see a McSeveney XI.

 

P155ed myself at that one

 

Plymouth V Barnsley November 2009........ it goes something like this

* We (my Uncle Dave and mate Paul) decide to fly to the game from Manchester on the morning of the game with Air Southwest. £89 each return so cheaper then the train
* We check in and all seems ok. When we get to the departure gate there seems to be no one around. Eventually someone from Air Southwest informs us there is a 1 hour delay
* No stress as the plane is due in at Plymouth at 11.30 - so the new time of 12.30 arrival still gives us plenty of time to dump our stuff in overnight digs, have a beer and head to the game
* The plane takes off at 11.15 and all is good, or so we think. After taking off, after 5 minutes the pilot welcomes us aboard over the tannoy and explains we have a diversion to Leeds/Bradford to collect some stranded passengers!!
* We are from Yorkshire FFS!!! We left there this morning!!
* Land at Leeds/Bradford, collect the stranded souls and the head to Bristol Airport for the 1 scheduled stop en route to Plymouth
* At Bristol, everyone including the pilots get off leaving us on board with 1 cabin crew awaiting new pilots and passengers!!!!
* Everyone gets on including new pilots who inform us that we have to divert to Newquay Airport on the way!!!! FFS!!! It is now 2pm!!
* We land at Newquay, drop off half a dozen people (as you do.... this is a plane not a bus!!) and then head to Plymouth where it is lashing down!!! We land at 2.45pm
* By the time we get in the taxi from the airport it's 3.05 and we head to the ground via the digs to drop the bags as we were passing the Travelodge anyway
* Arrive at the ground after bumper to bumper traffic at 3.40 in an absolute deluge/monsoon!!!! Rivers of water literally everywhere!!! Everything everywhere flooded!!
* Finally get in the ground at 3.45 as the players are trooping off for half time..... the good news is we are winning 4-1, but we have missed all the action
* Half time.... the only good bit of the day - a great pie and couple of pints of cider
* Yes you all know the game then gets called off 10 minutes or so into the second half after the pitch is deemed unplayable - which to be fair it was!!!! OMG was it all worth it!!!!!! The answer is yes if only for the night out we had round Plymouth that night!!

All in all one hell of a long day!!!!! But at least we got free drinks on the Air Southwest plane as an apology so were half cut by the time the farcical journey ended at Plymouth airport!!!!!!!!!

 

Class

 

Newport away many years ago.Set off by car and got just past Birmingham when our game was called off.Not too far from Villa so we thought we'd try there game again called off.Next port of call was Derby who were playing Birmingham,not too far from the ground and that was called off.Off we go heading for S6 who was playing Bury.We were running low on petrol and just managed to get to the service station where we discovered a missing petrol cap.Filled up and shoved a cloth into the fuel cap then set off for Hillsborough.Wednesday beat Bury 3-2 but the game was marred with trouble as Man City fans whos game at Shrewsbury had been called off clashed with Bury fans.I got a pie at half time and was sick spewing up down the steps on the back concourse.When I got home I looked forward to watching a good band who were on at my local club,got there guess what? the band didn't turn up and it was a night of bingo.A day never to forget but all part of being a football fan.

 

Not a clue, never got to the match, and until today I'd blotted it out from my memory.

 

Pre Adam Hinchcliffe `s moped liked it.

 

I once went to Grimbsy away. Just met a new bird. Fit as fook and punching way above my level. Can't remember why but i drove but she lent me her new car. We parked next to the railway line just down from away end. Went back to car after match and someone had pellet gunned all car Windows. I knocked on a house for some tape or cardboard to help us drive back.

They did..... fair play like. The best persons door I could have knocked on. Sorted........

Gets home. Apologised and forgiven. Until next day I removed the tape ..... had to replace the window, pay for a valet and a respray of the door cos the tape he gave me brought the paint off.

And we lost.