Made me laugh

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Connor, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

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    A Wednesday fan is painting his lounge wall

    His wife walks in and can’t believe how well he’s doing, but the sweat is dripping off him

    She says “Why are you wearing a leather jacket and a Parka”?

    Da wat? He responds angrily, are dar a bit daft? Read de foookin tin!

    It says “For best results put two coats on”
     
    Lordtyke, Apr 23, 2021
    #2241
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  2. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

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    Last night I was discussing my will with my kids.

    I said to them “I never want to live in some godawful vegetative state, dependent on some machine, and living on fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens to me, please, just pull the plug”

    They got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine

    Little barstewards
     
    Lordtyke, Apr 23, 2021
    #2242
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  3. dreamboy3000

    dreamboy3000 Well-Known Member

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    dreamboy3000, Apr 23, 2021
    #2243
  4. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    Yahoo! The pubs are open again here.
    IMG_1601.JPG
     
    arabian_ian, Apr 26, 2021
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  5. RedStriker

    RedStriker Well-Known Member

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    RedStriker, Apr 26, 2021
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  6. Redstone

    Redstone Well-Known Member

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    Just had a health check up and the doctor looked at my BMI and confirmed my worst fears......I'm a foot too short.
     
    Redstone, Apr 26, 2021
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  7. Cow

    Cowboy Well-Known Member

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    If you really want a laugh
    Read Fowlstalk
     
    Cowboy, Apr 28, 2021
    #2247
  8. arabian_ian

    arabian_ian Well-Known Member

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    arabian_ian, Apr 28, 2021
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  9. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    Marlon, Apr 28, 2021
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  10. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

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    shenk1, Apr 29, 2021
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  11. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

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    I'm so proud of myself....today I completed my 4th marathon this week...

    ....or Snickers as they are now known :)
     
    shenk1, Apr 29, 2021
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  12. Did

    Didcot Red Well-Known Member

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    A timesaving tip for all you gardeners.

    If you sprinkle your lawn with whiskey it will come up half cut.

    (Courtesy of Tony Blackburn SOTS)
     
    Didcot Red, May 1, 2021
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  13. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

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    shenk1, May 1, 2021
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  14. Lor

    Lordtyke Well-Known Member

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    Went for my annual checkup at my GP today.
    He suggested I need an earring made
    What a strange thing to say.....
     
    Lordtyke, May 1, 2021
    #2254
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  15. George Kerr

    George Kerr Well-Known Member

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    Olaf is a blind Viking who is buying a new house from a dodgy builder. The house is the last to be finished and the builder hasn’t any sinks left for the en-suite. So the builder tells the plumber to fit a bricklayer’s hod instead. The plumber says “you can’t do that” to which the builder replies “ of course you can, a hod is as good as a sink to a blind Norse”.
     
    George Kerr, May 2, 2021
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  16. BrunNer

    BrunNer Well-Known Member

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    BrunNer, May 4, 2021
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  17. exiled

    exiled Well-Known Member

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    exiled, May 4, 2021
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  18. TonyTyke

    TonyTyke Well-Known Member

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    deleted.
     
    TonyTyke, May 5, 2021
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  19. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    "Did you know the word Ikea is actually made up of two Swedish words? Ika, meaning Sunday, and keya, meaning 'fckuing ruined'."
     
    Hooky feller, May 5, 2021
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  20. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    Farnham_Red, May 6, 2021
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