Ooooh errr matron!

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by North Yorks Red, Dec 21, 2022.

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  1. North Yorks Red

    North Yorks Red Well-Known Member

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    Pensioner who couldn’t evacuate WWI bomb up his bum evacuates A&E instead

    A man, 88, arrived with just that at the Sainte-Musse Hospital emergency room in Toulon, France, last Saturday evening.

    The hospital had to be evacuated after doctors found the shell measuring 18cm high and 9cm long lodged up the man’s rectum, Nice-Matin reported.

    A police source told the south-eastern regional newspaper that the man found the ‘collectable’ coincidentally with a flared base at his brother’s house.

    He tried to assure doctors that the grenade was a dud but hotel management called for a ‘partial evacuation’, with workers and patients led to the main hall.

    A bomb disposal team, police and fire services were also called to the scene while new patients were sent to nearby hospitals from 9pm to 11:30pm.
     
    North Yorks Red, Dec 21, 2022
    #1
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  2. Stephen Dawson

    Stephen Dawson Well-Known Member

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    Stephen Dawson, Dec 22, 2022
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  3. Red

    Redblueunwhite Well-Known Member

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    Steve Dawsons dream.
     
    Redblueunwhite, Dec 22, 2022
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  4. Stephen Dawson

    Stephen Dawson Well-Known Member

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    Only thing I've had up my arse is an enema.
     
    Stephen Dawson, Dec 22, 2022
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  5. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    Never had a prostate check then or rectal digital examination as I think its called - not my idea of fun but some might enjoy it
     
    Farnham_Red, Dec 22, 2022
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  6. Stephen Dawson

    Stephen Dawson Well-Known Member

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    I used to slide up and down in my pants itching my arse to see how big my skidders were.
     
    Stephen Dawson, Dec 22, 2022
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  7. red

    red24/7 Well-Known Member

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    There’s mortar this than meets the eye
     
    red24/7, Dec 22, 2022
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  8. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

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    Apparently you’re not meant to push back…nobody told me
     
    Bossman, Dec 22, 2022
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  9. John Peachy

    John Peachy Well-Known Member

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    I've had some explosive expulsions from my rear end after a few beers & a curry. This is on another level.
     
    John Peachy, Dec 22, 2022
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  10. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    Loads of my (younger) friends use the word "itching" in the sense of "scratching". When did that become a thing?

    For me, "itching" is the feeling you get somewhere on your person, which makes you start "scratching".
     
    Stahlrost, Dec 22, 2022
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  11. Red

    Redblueunwhite Well-Known Member

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    And i bet you enjoyed that .
     
    Redblueunwhite, Dec 22, 2022
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  12. Red

    Redblueunwhite Well-Known Member

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    I've lost count and glad they are over with having had my Prostate out.
     
    Redblueunwhite, Dec 22, 2022
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  13. SuperTyke

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

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    Exactly you scratch an itch, you don't itch an itch.
     
    SuperTyke, Dec 22, 2022
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  14. dreamboy3000

    dreamboy3000 Well-Known Member

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    The doctors will have been shell shocked seeing that.
     
    dreamboy3000, Dec 22, 2022
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  15. mick woodhouse

    mick woodhouse Well-Known Member

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    Bet the doctor was shell shocked !!
     
    mick woodhouse, Dec 22, 2022
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  16. Met

    Metatarsal Well-Known Member

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    Metatarsal, Dec 22, 2022
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  17. Farnham_Red

    Farnham_Red Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    Doctor told me to relax
    easier said than done.!
     
    Farnham_Red, Dec 22, 2022
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  18. mick woodhouse

    mick woodhouse Well-Known Member

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    I had my prostrate checked other month . Doctor had fingers like king kongs thumb ! I shudder to think what that shell felt like
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2022
    mick woodhouse, Dec 22, 2022
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  19. Stephen Dawson

    Stephen Dawson Well-Known Member

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    Stephen Dawson, Dec 22, 2022
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  20. dreamboy3000

    dreamboy3000 Well-Known Member

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    I think I know your doctor if he's called Frankie.
     
    dreamboy3000, Dec 22, 2022
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