Fun facts about our new striker

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by Archey, Jan 14, 2023.

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  1. Archey

    Archey Well-Known Member

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    Max Watters

    Did you know, Max is short for Maxpower

    He's not Banksy, but he knows who is

    His vehicle of choice is an Isetta Bubble car

    He will only put the brown bin out, his wife/girlfriend has to do all the others

    During the last series, he correctly guessed 3 masked singers

    His footballing hero is Mark Stallard

    Before turning pro as a footballer, he could have been a competitive deep sea treasure diver. However he found he has a phobia of wetsuit material.

    He's watched the film 'not another teen movie' 4 times, more than any other living human.

    His favourite colour is Neptune Seas
     
    Archey, Jan 14, 2023
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  2. Mr C

    Mr C Well-Known Member

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    :eek::eek::eek:
     
    Mr C, Jan 14, 2023
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  3. bri

    briscatyke Well-Known Member

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    I thought that was a load of ballax until I saw the Mark Stallard fact...
     
    briscatyke, Jan 14, 2023
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  4. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    He has a genetic condition which leads to cobalt deficiency meaning he is 'invisible' to automatic doors. He has to wait around for other customers to activate them in order to get in and out of many businesses. It also causes his pubic hair to glow in the dark.
     
    Jay, Jan 14, 2023
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  5. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

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    He as an allergy to all types of mattresses so he’s learned to levitate just above the bed, whenever he stays in a hotel his wife as to check that it doesn’t have a ceiling fan for obvious reasons.
     
    Bossman, Jan 14, 2023
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  6. Terry Nutkins

    Terry Nutkins Well-Known Member

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    Max invented the Oodie but designed it only for dwarves.

    He made no money for the invention.
     
    Terry Nutkins, Jan 14, 2023
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  7. man

    mansfield_red Well-Known Member

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    Max Watters is an anagram of "Scores loads of goals and is absolutely mint"
     
    mansfield_red, Jan 14, 2023
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  8. YT

    YT Well-Known Member

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    Max is also a talented sculptor. He has produced a number of interesting pieces over the years but says he’s most proud of the life-size statue he built of David Hasselhoff outside Londis in Camden.
     
    YT, Jan 14, 2023
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  9. Old Goat

    Old Goat Well-Known Member

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    His favourite biscuit is Seabiscuit.
    His favourite film is Clingfilm.
    His favourite church is Charlotte.
    His favourite animal is Eric Burdon.
    His favourite tipple is going down inside the penalty area after an innocuous challenge.
     
    Old Goat, Jan 14, 2023
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  10. Jam

    Jamo Well-Known Member

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    He's a slot badger
    He's a two pin din plug
    He's a bush dodger
    He's a small bean regarder
    He's an unabummer
    He's a bent ref
    He's the crazy world of Arthur Brown
    He's a fence foal
    He's a free willy
    He's a chimney bottler
    He's a bunty man
    He's a shrub rocketeer
     
    Jamo, Jan 14, 2023
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  11. Jack Tatty

    Jack Tatty Well-Known Member

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    His sister Crystal divised the channel 4 programmes Countdown and Naked Attraction.

    Her favourite consonant is V.

    Her favourite part of the male anatomy is the left nacker.

    Max's former girlfriend was a professional parachutist who suffered from IBS. They split up due to her constantly s hitting on him from a great height.

    Max has 4 ears. 2 for listening and 2 back up ears.

    Before football Max played rugby for Wasps but only made it to their B team.

    Max has the full box set of Just Good Friends starring Paul Nicholas and Jan Francis.

    Max has a collection of 14 combs. His 3 favourites are named Gaz Pat and Sean Puffy.

    His proudest moment was when his photo to the adult magazine Fiesta was featured in the readers husbands section.

    Max is numerically dyslexic and is banned from every Mecca bingo hall in the country.

    Max knows the location of every dogging spot in the West Riding area.

    Max is double jointed and can recreate the Sydney Opera House using his body parts.

    Max is the only living person to have enjoyed the original version of Tron.

    Max's grandad once went down in history and also fingered a girl in geography.

    Max is the voice of Pingu.

    In Max's attic he has a scaled down model of the Emmerdale village.

    Max Watters spelt backwards is Srettaw Xam which is an Anglo-Saxon phrase which translates to brass rubbing grand master.

    Max has a larger than normal forehead which along with the Great Wall of China and Egyptian Pyramids can be seen from space
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2023
    Jack Tatty, Jan 14, 2023
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  12. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

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    Max Watters is so quick he’s not allowed to run at full speed because it would cause the earth to rotate faster
     
    Bossman, Jan 14, 2023
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  13. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

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    Apparently he’s had to be rebuild so many times that the bionic man Steve Austin once introduced him as some that’s better, stronger, faster
     
    Bossman, Jan 14, 2023
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  14. Jack Tatty

    Jack Tatty Well-Known Member

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    I know that is not true as Max is a member of the flat earth society and will only travel as far as Bude in Cornwall due to his fear of falling off the planet.
     
    Jack Tatty, Jan 14, 2023
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  15. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

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    He likes feeding birds at tuppence a bag.
    He absolutely refuses to put his chewing gum on the bedpost overnight.
    His favourite Yorkshire town is Skegness.
     
    Mr Badger, Jan 14, 2023
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  16. man

    mansfield_red Well-Known Member

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    He has an unbelievable work ethic and engine, tracking back and covering every blade of grass every single match. It could be the 97th minute and still Watters runs deep.
     
    mansfield_red, Jan 14, 2023
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  17. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    He loves TV and He loves T- Rex
    He can see through your skirt, He's got X-Ray Specs
    He came from the sky like a Seven-Forty-Seven
    He's the bad boy baby and He fell out of heaven

    He's a Sex Fuhrer baby, He's a Love Dictator
    Blitzkrieg Romance He's a Cool Dominator

    He's a Pri-i-i-i-ime, Prime Mover

    He's Christ in shades, He's a Napalm God
    Your lipstick flickers round his Lightning Rod
    You fever pitch b*tch you love to tease
    He's a Hot Dog Daddy up on your knees

    He's a Sex Fuhrer baby, He's a Love Dictator
    Blitzkrieg Romance He's a Living Detonator
     
    Jay, Jan 14, 2023
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  18. Terry Nutkins

    Terry Nutkins Well-Known Member

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    Max is in fact Madeleine McCann.

    Too Soon?
     
    Terry Nutkins, Jan 14, 2023
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  19. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    He's as serious as cancer when he says Rhythm is a Dancer
     
    Jay, Jan 14, 2023
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  20. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    He was Tom Cruise's stunt double in Days of Thunder and Nicole Kidman's nipple fluffer on the set of Eyes Wide Shut
     
    Jay, Jan 14, 2023
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