it's not appropriate to them though, is it? isn't that enough? they don't want to be called a man, or a woman, or him, or her. why would you want to deliberately refer to someone as something they've specifically asked you not to use?
Pop corn thread. It's usually me that wades in with my size 11 up to the waste in 5hite but not today folks.
I'll be totally honest and say I find the gender neutral terms quite stressful. Not because I'm offended by them and don't take them seriously, more that I don't want to offend the people I'm talking to or friends of people I'm talking about by getting it wrong. On the odd occasion I have used the wrong pronoun the other person has been very good about it. I see my fear as being irrational. Most people understand it is new for a lot of us to get their heads round and appreciate the effort made. Doesn't mean people should be scared though, needs to be an open and safe discussion.
The problem is that this debate has become too political, somehow. There is nothing inherently left or right wing about self-identification of Gender - however the idea that gender is a social construct IS based on marxist theory and relies on the work of Foucault on social constructivism. Because of this agenda, which is used to create this culture war, I am very suspicious of all and every pronouncement on the matter. The fact is Gender is a psychologically construct - it can be neither fully explained by external or internal forces - if Gender was merely a social construct then how could you self-identify? It would be a contradiction. Gender comes from our sex and our identity - you cannot simply identify yourself by either only your Gender or your Sex - Gender self-identification is not the the only form of identification. They can tell us they are not male and so don't want to be called "He", but it doesn't mean its objectively true. However, if it's just a matter of using a different pronoun, as daft as it is to assign a plural pronoun to a single person, let "they" get on with it. The bigger issue comes from other consequences when people who are one sex identify as the opposite gender - because their sex doesn't change just by magical thinking, so rules need to be in place to keep woman safe from people who identify as non-male, but retain their male sex, regardless of what they say.
same boat. I've tripped over clumsy language a few times. but literally every time the person has been totally cool about it, and has actually really appreciated the fact that I'm trying to understand.
Absolutely. Unless you know specifically beforehand how they prefer to be referred to as. They should be very good about it. God forbid anyone should go on a rant. They'd get it back in spades. I learnt many moons ago, to ask how people prefer to be called, if it is shortened on occasion. Eg Chris/Christopher. Tony/Anthony. Bill/William. Surprising how many choose their full birth name. I also don't use nicknames in general as lots were made up in the schoolyard. Some have no issue. But it's appropriate to ask.
When I look at someone my brain naturally works out if they are a male or female biologically. 99% of the time I would assume I am correct. I then would refer/address the person with the pronouns traditionally appropriate. However if someone tells me they want to be addressed differently then I would make every effort to do that as its not a difficult concession to make. The new Video they have done is disgusting, Wearing nipple tassels and pretending you’re drinking pi$$ in a music video has nothing to do with Pronouns however.
Can be used for an unspecified or unknown person, as in it could be a he or she, Sam Smith is known and is male
I don’t believe there are many more odious two hats than Sam Smith absolute cretin and thi music is gash too
It doesn't make me want to dress that way but I'm nearly 40. I was referring to young kids looking upto him the 14 15 16 year olds.
Hmm, I can't see any kid wanting to dress that way that didn't have the same sexual orientation. It's not a fashion thing. I think there's way too much over reaction on the transgender issue. My tendency verges on the old school but there's definitely different strokes for different folks and I definitely don't think the barbarians are at the gates.