Just been done for shoplifting.

Hope you have receipts for all the clothes you're ever likely to wear to Tesco's.

 

I regularly go there nude to avoid confusion.

 

Best laugh I’ve had in ages.

 

Only those that financially supported/support BFC. Even then I have my doubts

 

Had the devil in me and couldn't resist.

 

Maybe you LOOKED guilty!
Brings to mind PC Savage from Not The 9 O` Clock News.

 

I know it's not related but can't get this out of my head:

 

Anyone who hasn't been in yer ? Couldn't resist that lol.

 

I left Asda a couple of weeks ago just behind a shifty looking woman with a bulging coat. Naturally the sensors went off and I just turned round and said "Not me" and she muttered the same but kept her head down and quickened her pace. I would guess that she had a couple of bottles of expensive spirits in her big pockets though but, of course, nobody came to challenge.

 

That's how the shoplifter I was talking about was killed. He was stealing spirits and when apprehended by the security guard landed on one crushing it and stabbing himself to death on the broken bottle.

 

Good ploy.
Did it draw attention away from the leg of lamb and Gillette blades in your trousers?

 

Which Tesco?

 

Two related shoplifting stories; last week I was in Wilko at Cortonwood when two scruffy individuals carrying large bags walked in, went up to a shelf near the door packed with cleaning fluids and scooped the lot up into the bags and legged it. I told the cashier and she said Oh, ok we know them. They'll be on CCTV. Two days later I was back but in M&S food hall at reduction time (worth a visit as some good grub gets knocked down because of the date) when the same two walked in and went up to the joints of meat. They scooped the lot, a big amount. I went and told the security man, who had a look and said I'm not following them, they might be carrying knives. They'll be on CCTV and we know who they are. I can't fault his logic; M&S is not worth dying for, but it does make you think. It's getting a bit wild. I was born and raised in the steam age and all this is new to me, but alarming as to what is happening in society.

 

WHICH TESCO !!!!!!!! ?????????????

 

There's no fun shoplifting in Scotland - we've sadly moved on to art-lifting

Thankfully the sculptures have been found and will be replaced but you do have to wonder sometimes... Link

 

One for the did not happen of the year awards here

 

I would have given em what for. If they'd embarrassed me in front of other shoppers. And didn't treat me with respect. More times than not they forget to disarm a security tag.

Re the receipt business. I rarely collect a receipt when asked. By the cashier or self service till. Only if using cash or if I may have to take an item back. (I would also assume Tesco offer the same option.)

Next time you buy owt from there. (Don't cut your nose off to spite yer face) get a receipt and ask em to sign it for extra proof of purchase .(More ways to skin a rabbit) I'd certainly make sure others in the shop knew why I would be demanding it.

I reckon if you reported the floor manager for his bo11ox statement. Head office will pull him in.

 

Two pages in and we still don’t know what StatisTYKE had stolen. I’m going for free range chicken under his hat.

 

Well they do keep telling us alcohol can be bad for the health

 

I sometimes like to walk out of Tesco in Wath really shiftily for no real reason - see if anyone is actually watching.

Or maybe run out like Gaz in the Full Monty when he nicks the jacket from Asda - COME ON YER FAT *******